Page 40 of Love Bitters

I try to hide it by wiping it off quickly, but it’s pointless, and silence falls over the room. Wes drops into routine and attempts to recover by asking, “Want to sit down and stay for a few minutes?”

Understanding that it’s now or never, I nod and reply, “Yeah, I can stay for a bit. I just need—”

“Need what?” Thatcher snaps from where he sits, arms still aggressively crossed over his chest. “To run away again? To leave these idiots pining for you for months? To explain why you just took off without saying a word? Yeah, I’d say that you need to do a lot, alright.”

I can feel a blush creeping into my cheeks at his tone. I deserved that and so much more, but it doesn’t stop the hurt any. More tears leak from the corners of my eyes as I quietly say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Wes asks.

At the same time, Ollie calls out, “Why’d you leave us, babycakes?”

Seeing is believing, or so they say. With a deep breath, my nervous fingers fumble with the button I’d purposely done up on the front of my jacket. None of them so much as make a peep, so I take it all the way off and lay it across the back of the chair beside me. As hilariously horrific as it sounds, I can almost see metaphorical rats running a race in their heads to see who can figure it out first. Giving at least one of them a step up, I lift my blouse up to the bottom of my breasts. When there’s still nothing to be heard but crickets, I run my hand down my belly.

Wes’s breath hitches, but it’s Ollie who has me almost peeing my pants a few seconds later when he leaps out of his seat and all but yells, “You’re pregnant?!”

“Five months now,” I tell him.

With his hands now locked on top of his head he repeats, “Five months now.”

It’s an accusing tone, but I know I deserve it. I wouldn’t be able to find the words to defend myself if I tried. There aren’t any excuses.

Apparently, Thatcher feels the same way seeing as he snaps, “Were you even going to tell us?”

Murphy’s gaze finally truly focuses on me as Evan reaches up to take his glasses off then does the same. It chokes me almost to the point of not being able to breathe. Somehow, I manage to reply past the clog in my throat. “I wanted to tell you so many times. I never would have kept it from you. I…was just nervous, and I have to start living for someone other than myself. The responsibility and stuff I’m going to have to go through…I just feel weighed down without any choices. I didn’t want to tie one, let alone all, of you to us and drag you down with me. We don’t even know who the father is and probably won’t ever without a DNA test. That’s not fair to you guys.”

“But it’s fair for you to do it alone?” Thatcher argues, even angrier and edging for a fight.

Faster than I think any of us see coming, Ollie does a complete ninety degree turn as he retorts, “Save the drama for your mama, llama. Our girl is going to have a baby! We’re going to be daddies!”

Evan softly snorts at his dramatics.

When he spins back to me, the proud expression he wears instantly floors me, and the tears are flowing freely now. For months, I’ve had this moment in my head, and never once did I consider an option where they’d be happy about it. Yeah, at the moment it’s only Ollie that’s happy, but I’ll take my small wins where I can get them.

He closes the short distance between us before taking my face between his hands as he asks, “Was that the only reason you left us? Because of your idiotic notion of not wanting to drag us down with you and our baby?”

Giving him the most honest answer of my entire life, I reply, “I never wanted to leave. I love you, Olls.”

His eyes light up even further at my words, his thumbs catching some of the tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Aww, babycakes. I love you, too.” When he leans down to capture my lips with his own, I feel like I’ve fallen into a dream I don’t want to wake from. Then to add to that feeling, Evan comes over and gathers us both up in his arms. He presses a kiss to my temple, and in that one small gesture, I know I’ve got him back too.

Ollie decides to startle me for a second time by jumping a couple inches away from us, declaring, “We’ve got so much to do! You’re going to be here for a little while, right? I need to go to the store. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

“Stay forever,” Wes murmurs, forcing another silence on the room before adding, “move in with us.”

As much as I appreciate the support and forgiveness that a couple of them are showing, we aren’t ready for that step yet. We weren’t ready for it months ago when we were still together, and we definitely aren’t now. This entire impulsive offer is exactly the reason I kept the baby secret from them in the first place. Wes didn’t even as much so ask the others after just finding out that someone in this room is soon to be a father. There’s a chance that it could be one of the three surrounding me, but there’s also the chance it’s one of the other two still not showing any kind of emotion other than anger at my sudden reappearance with baggage in tow.

Trying to soften the blow I’m about to deal, I smile at him. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he immediately implies.

Not willing to explain my answer just yet, I shrug. “Both. You say you’re okay with this now, but you might wake up tomorrow and change your minds.” Those gears start turning in their heads again; I can see it written smack across Wes’s face. Holding up a hand to stop their arguments, I add, “Besides, I can’t just drop everything and move in, but I will think about it. Plus, I signed a six-month lease with my apartment, so I’ve got a couple more months before that’s finished.”

Ollie squeezes the hand he’s still holding gently. “We’ll have you moved in here by next week. Just you watch. There are perks to this five against one thing, after all.”

The forbidden memory of the six of us in a pallet cocoon on the floor of that cabin hits me out of nowhere. I blame all the romance novels we’ve been reading on top of the hormones making me horny as hell and having no relief. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. My face flushes as I realize that no matter if I haven’t seen these men in months, or the fact that we just now reconciled, I would gladly be willing to test our standing attraction to each other.

Thankfully, Ollie changes the subject, saving my pride. “Can the baby hear us?”

“The baby books say that they can,” I offer with another quick shrug, not sure if I believe them myself.

---