Page 32 of Love Bitters

“Bringing me to one of the reasons I’m here today besides your company and the sushi.” He grins.

I arch my eyebrow in question, waiting for him to continue.

“What if we could find out why she left?” he asks. “Would you want to?”

Shaking my head slightly, I open my chopsticks, stuffing a California roll in my mouth and chewing before answering, “I’m not sure I would at this point. When are we going to stop doing this to ourselves? That woman was damn near perfect for us in every single way, Wes, but she left us. We’ve got to move on with our lives.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing?” he asks skeptically. “You’re not the only one in the house who’s observant, you know. From one broken heart to another, I see you going through the motions some days. Just like me. So, I ask again, would you want to know why she left?”

I look at him, like really look at him. The weight we’ve all been seeming to carry in our expressions over the past couple months is still there, but something else is too. Hope, maybe.

“Do you already know something we don’t?” I ask curiously, latching onto the bait he’s been throwing at me.

He hasn’t even bothered opening his chopsticks even though I’m throwing back another roll, knowing he probably won’t eat until he gets out what he needs to say.

“Okay, this is going to come off a little on the stalker side,” he starts, automatically not winning any points with me. “But I think I know where she’s working now. I’ve been considering stopping by to talk to her.”

My third roll is hovering halfway to my lips as his words roll around in my brain. Do I want him to track her down? What will the others do if they know he’s had contact with her? How will this affect Ollie?

“Don’t waste your breath. Let her go,” I decide, regretting every single word.

He swallows hard before taking a bite of his food. Our silence is only broken by the conversations going on around us.

Without taking his eyes from his plate, he confesses, “Thatch is in a bad place, Ev. I’m not solid on things, but I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on. Ever since Em left, he’s been spending more time at the gym than anywhere else. The same one he’s always told me that would never leave his past to join his present again.”

Voice lowering until it’s almost inaudible, he adds, “I think it might be something illegal.”

“Have you told Murphy?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Our worlds have tilted on their axes, so nothing is as it should be. Even if Murph were in a place to try and help Thatcher, I’m not sure he’s up for it.

Wes shakes his head. “No, he decided to take the offer from the department. They’re putting him on desk duty for the foreseeable future, but we both know he’s a respectable man of the law. He might have to turn him in.”

Damn. I feel so out of the loop. Nothing has been said to me about Murphy accepting his old position, and without our normal dinners together, everything around the house is hearsay. Now we’ve got Thatcher on some likely illegal bender to worry about on top of it all. A headache begins to bloom behind my eyes. Setting my chopsticks down, I remove my glasses to give my eyelids a slight massage. This has got to be the dumbest shit in our lives.

“Do it,” I order, knowing there’s no going back. If it will bring closure and get our asses back on track then we need to just bite the bullet and see what happens.

Placing my glasses back in place, I pick up my chopsticks, squeeze another roll and tell him, “Even at the worst, if she says goodbye, at least we’ll have that and can move on. We’ll deal with Thatch and all the other drama afterward.”

Wes doesn’t look thrilled at my words but nods his head in understanding. I’m glad at least one of us gets it because I’m having a hard time believing I didn’t just make the second biggest mistake of my life.

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