Page 29 of Love Bitters

Evan

Wake up, comfort Ollie, work, comfort Ollie again, sleep, then do it all over again. That has slowly become my routine over the past couple of months. I’m in a funky rut that I can’t seem to pull myself out of. I’d like to say that it has nothing to do with a certain dark-haired beauty ghosting us, but I’d be lying. Ever since the moment I knew I liked guys, I never once considered a woman would have the ability to break me on the inside the way our Imma has. I’m not supposed to be the emotional one in the relationship; Ollie is enough of that for the both of us. I’ve tried to be the glue that keeps our pieces together since she left, but right now I'm that stick stuff that kids use in school. The flimsy goo that’s not very strong or secure.

Ollie and I are one hundred percent still happy with each other. There isn’t any risk of this breaking us up. It just feels like we’re missing a piece to the happy little puzzle we’ve made for ourselves.

Our friends aren’t any better off than we are either. The five of us barely have a conversation in passing these days. Hell, Thatcher would have to be home to even attempt one.

Riding to work this morning, Ollie and I are a foot away from each other, but we might as well be miles. Both of us lost in our own thoughts, we don’t bother speaking until we pull up outside the little art studio he works at.

“Remember, we’ve got a show tonight,” he tells me, gathering his bag off of the floor. “Scott will drop me off afterward, so you don’t have to worry about getting back out.”

I nod in understanding before wrapping my hand around the back of his neck and pulling his lips to mine. Even after years of kissing him, it still sends a jolt of lust straight through me. He doesn’t fight the passion as we make out in front of his workplace. Maybe he needs it as much as I do today.

Slowly pulling our lips apart, I drop my forehead to his. “Hope you have a great show tonight. I’ll be waiting at home for you.”

His smile speaks a thousand words, but I still love to hear his voice when he says, “Thanks, babe. Love you.”

Without giving me the chance to reply, he hops from the car and blows me a kiss. I still mouth the words anyway, lighting his face with another smile. Watching him until the door closes behind him, I marvel at the fact of how lucky we are. Poor Wes, Thatch, and Murph. They don’t have someone they can turn to like me and Ollie, and they’re shutting each other out. At what point do we say enough is enough and move on with our lives?

I ponder that question the rest of the ride to work, and it follows me as I absent-mindedly return absent-minded greetings all the way to my office. I take my seat behind my desk, and that’s when the warm fuzzies of Ollie’s presence finally wear off. Feeling the corners of my mouth droop down into their usual frown, I don’t bother stopping it. Instead, I focus on the only other constant in my life. The one thing guaranteed not to change. Work.

A few hours into moving numbers around and helping someone else keep their life in check, Chris softly knocks before cracking the door and peeking his head inside. “Hey Evan, mandatory staff meeting in five.”

“Okay, thanks,” I tell him, locking up my computer.

Waiting so we can walk together, he finally brings up the question I’ve seen written on his face for weeks. “How is everything going?”

I’d love nothing more than to race to the roof of this building and scream my lungs out. That’s how I am, Chris.

Honesty in the workplace isn’t always the best, so I give him the right answer. “It’s good. How about you? How’s newly married life treating you?”

Such a simple question sends a pang through my chest, and I have to swallow around the lump in my throat. There was never any discussion of marriage or anything between us and Imma, but my brain works differently and I couldn’t help seeing things in a long-term perspective. Her leaving wasn’t one of the scenarios either.

Breaking me out of my inner thought, Chris takes the bait and replies, “Man, I always thought getting married would be the end of everything, but I’m not going to lie and say it’s not pretty damn awesome.”

Seeing as Chris has that frat boy party persona, it’s not surprising he used to feel that way. Time matured him in a good way.

At my smirk, he continues. “Hannah has dinner on the table every night when I get home from work. And I get laid more now than I ever did as a single dude.”

He elbows me lightly at the end, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Sobering up quickly as we get to the conference room, he offers, “For real though, misery doesn’t suit you. Anytime you want to grab a beer after work or something just let me know.”

“Will do,” I tell him appreciatively, which I truly am. Not throwing myself a pity party, as Imma calls them, but I didn’t think anyone had been noticing. However, now that I know they have, maybe I haven’t been doing as good a job at concealing my feelings about Imma from Ollie as I thought I was.

We are the last two to file into the room, taking our seats at the end. Every face is one that I recognize from our group on this floor except one. A young dark-haired woman sits to the right of our boss and almost has me doing a double take. For a split second, I think it’s her. My stomach jerks hard once, then again when I realize my mistake. That small amount of hope is enough to leave a sour taste in my mouth.

“I called this meeting to introduce everyone to our new intern,” David starts. “I expect everyone to give her the warmest welcomes we’re all capable of. If everything pans out just right, Gabriella here might be our youngest VPs.”

Everyone, myself included, gives a polite clap at that while I die a little more on the inside. The open position was all but promised to me by David himself about a year ago. When Ollie showed up for a surprise visit one day and I was ousted in the office, talk of moving up in the company came to a standstill. I have no regrets because I clearly was not going to have him feeling I’m ashamed of him. No job is worth my sweet-hearted man.

If there were a way to prove I was being discriminated against, I might have a way to fight it. However, since I don’t, I have no choice but to accept the way things are now and the fact that I’ll never move up at this job.

Lost in my thoughts, I’ve missed the last couple minutes of David’s speech, but it’s not like it matters anyway. With the way Gabriella is smiling, I’m sure it had to do with her.

“That’s all I have for you, team,” David says standing from his seat. “I still expect reports on my desk by the time everyone leaves today.”

Short and direct will no doubt be written on that man’s tombstone, I muse while letting everyone else clear out of the office first. As it comes down to the last two of us, the new intern lays a hand in the crook of my elbow and pulls me to a stop.

Sticking out her other one for me to shake, she says, “Hi there. I’m Gabriella. Well, Gabby for short.”

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