Page 16 of Love Bitters

Imogene

“Okay, I’m seriously starting to feel like this relationship is one-sided here,” I argue when Jolene and I trade off books for the third time in a week.

She laughs softly. “Pssh. I have almost enough books to start my own library. I don’t mind lending them out to you. Especially since you’re enjoying them. Besides, it makes my nerd heart happy to be able to discuss them with someone.”

Playfully rolling my eyes, my lips are pulled up in a grin as I reply, “Fine, but I need to start my own collection for you to borrow too. I haven’t bought a book other than the expecting baby one in forever.”

I’ve gotten so comfortable chatting with her that the words slip out unfiltered. Her eyes widen seconds before mine do, and I open my mouth to explain or lie. One of the two. The former wins out when I realize I do actually want to talk to someone about this. Maybe having someone else in the loop will help, so I won’t feel so alone.

My smile is enough for her without another word.

“Oh my god,” she whisper shouts, reaching out to clasp her hand around my upper arm and shaking me gently. “I can’t believe you kept something like that a secret. I’d be shouting from the rooftops.”

I laugh softly because I can picture her doing just that.

“Yeah, and if my name was Jolene, I’d be singing that song constantly,” I teasingly retort.

It’s her turn to cackle, covering her mouth when it echoes around the lobby. “Nevertheless, back to what’s important here. How far along are you?”

“Sixteen weeks,” I tell her. “I go in two weeks to find out if it’s a boy or a girl.”

Her mouth opens in a silent squeal of excitement. “Is the dad going with you? How stoked are you guys?”

Glancing down at the marble counter, I pick at one of the lines that spiral across the surface as I give her the truth. “No. I’m going alone. I haven’t exactly told anyone other than you.”

She goes comically still before quietly wondering, “Why haven’t you told him?”

Grimacing, I prepare myself for the judgment, but I’ve made it this far. Might as well go for it.

“Remember the five boyfriends?” I ask softly, keeping my voice down. She nods, and I swallow hard, adding, “I’m not sure which one...it is.”

Instead of judgment or any further questioning, she says, “Well, tell me what day it is and I’ll go with.”

“Thanks,” I reply, “but it’s on my day off, which means you’ll probably be working.” I don’t bother to tell her that it’s my own form of punishment to myself. For not only being in this situation to begin with, but also letting the guys go. I deserve nothing less than having to go at this alone.

Jolene winces but eventually nods because she knows I’m telling the truth. “Okay,” she relents, “but you have to come in here right after your appointment to tell me the good news.”

“Deal,” I agree.

Chuckling to herself, she murmurs, “I can’t see how you’re being so calm about this. Are you excited? What are you hoping for?”

At the last lineup of questions, I’m saved by a customer and then another. By the time our lobby is empty again, it’s clear Jolene is either going to let them go unanswered on purpose or has forgotten about them since another light bulb goes off in her brain.

“You know, I just had the brightest idea ever,” she exclaims, trying to keep excitement from lacing her tone.

“Yeah?” I ask, knowing I’ll likely be on board for whatever she’s got going on upstairs. The amount of stress that came off me from sharing my secret makes me an easy target for most anything.

“What if we start a book club?” she suggests, continuing on before I get a word in. “It wouldn’t be like a regular one. We could do romance books, but for all the wrong reasons. Love is always painted as something everyone needs in their lives, but it just isn’t like the books make it out to be, you know. It’s hard and painful. What if we do like an anti-love book club?”

“I’m not sure there are enough books out there to make it interesting,” I tell her gently, trying not to burst her bubble.

“No, no,” she reiterates, waving her hands downward. “We do regular books, but we talk about how unrealistic they are compared to reality. Or about why we hate the connection between the love interests. That kind of thing.”

Sucking my top lip through my teeth as my eyebrows rise on my forehead, I have to admit that it’s a promising idea. One that I don’t totally hate. And it’ll mean less time spent alone moping about how sad and depressing my life is at the moment.

“Would it just be us?” I ask.

Already shaking her head, she replies quickly, “No way. My little sister is a senior in high school and loves borrowing my books. I know she’d be in for sure. And we could put up flyers in a few places. Maybe even run an ad in the newspaper or something. Sure, we might get a few crazies, but who knows, maybe they’ll make it more interesting.”

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