Page 10 of Love Bitters

It was my sophomore year of college when my old man took it a little too far one fight and got himself put behind bars when the other guy pressed charges. It was a shit show for everyone involved, but lucky Vinny made it out on top. No one mentioned the club. From what I heard, though, the snitch got himself another beat down after my old man’s trial. That was the one that really broke him. He’s now in some facility for people that can’t take care of themselves. Bound to a wheelchair if rumors are to be believed.

Afterward, I wanted no ties to this place, period. Dropped it faster than a hot stone on a summer day. Vinny never came looking for me either, which was a relief. Like he said, he knew I’d be back. I’d simply allowed myself to forget what it was like.

Everything with the guys was always simple. Meeting in college. Agreeing to share an apartment to save money. All of us getting along without any kind of arguments. It was always a girl that rattled the fucking cage, but Imma had just seemed so different. Even Ollie and Evan had thrown in all of their chips on her. And this is why I refuse to gamble. Not worth it when you lose, and trust me, the day will come when that happens. No one can win all the time.

Lost in thought, I’ve been moving mechanically wrapping my hands and wrists like I’ve done hundreds of times before. So when a flash of Imma’s face races across my brain, making my chest hurt, I don’t even feel it when I smash my fist into the closed locker to my right.

“Dude, there are punching bags out there for that shit.” The deep voice echoes throughout the room.

I throw a glare over my shoulder while thinking about asking him if he knows who the fuck he’s talking to and if he really wants to go there with me today. Lucky for him, there’s a reason I haven’t come back here in years. I’ve still got that lid sealed down tight. For now. Besides, I’m out of shape, and the fucker looks like he could bench five of me. Arrogant asshole doesn’t even stop to consider the fact that I might throw a swing. He just turns toward the showers like he never said anything to begin with.

Deep down, I know I’m not truly angry with him. Imma either. I’m furious with myself for allowing someone this kind of control over me again. It’s time to loosen the rope that seems to be wanting to choke the life out of me.

Stalking back out into the main area of the gym, I pick the bag in the corner away from all the other dudes taking their own frustrations out on the equipment. When that first punch lands and I feel the smack of it through the tape around my knuckles, I know that I made the right choice in coming back here. A weight immediately jumps straight off my shoulders. After I finish, there will be a version of it still there, but for now, I’m going to accept this relief as it is.

I don’t time myself, but it isn’t until sweat leaks from every pore on my body and my arms feel like overcooked noodles that I stop.

“You still got it, kid,” Vinny says from his position against the wall, arms folded across his chest.

My lip curls up in distaste at having pleased him. Thankfully, I’m still facing the bag because Vinny doesn’t take very well to being disrespected. I didn’t come here for him, and I hate that he thinks that history will be repeating itself. Yet at his next words, I don’t baulk like I should.

“Several weeks of practice and getting back into shape will go a long way,” he says. “We’ll have you back in the ring in no time.”

He gives me a moment to decide if I want to reply before a huffing sound leaves his chest. I don’t give it to him, and the sound of his footfalls bounces off the side wall back to me. It’s sick as fuck because he didn’t need me to answer him. He knows as well as I do that it’s going to happen. Old habits die hard apparently. Even if it’s been years.

Fuck it. I spent four years in college to work some dead end job as a glorified coffee grabbing assistant. Sure it pays well, but some days it’s degrading to the point of contemplating murder. Fights would bring in four times more in a year than what I make there anyway.

Here and the ring. That’s where I really belong. It’s in my blood.

I’ve got nothing to lose other than my friends. If I do this, I’ll have to quit my job to train. I’ll have to keep it from my friends, Murph more than any of them.

I can stand here internally discussing this shit with myself all day, but I know as well as Vin does that the decision was made the moment I walked through that front door.

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