Page 47 of Refusing Kendall

I nod, “We can talk to him about it in the morning. Hopefully we don’t need to tell the others and there need not be any blood shed involved.”

He sighs again as his hands start moving on my back, “I hope you’re right.”

It turns out that I’m wrong, as I usually find I am here lately. The next morning, it’s only Lucas and I in the bed. Goose is gone again. His spot is cold, so he’s been gone for a while. I wonder if he even remembers last night. Lucas swears under his breath and says that he’s fucking done. I don’t even have it in me to fight him on this one, because ever since I woke up to find him gone, the pain has been chipping tiny pieces of my heart off around the edges.

Let Me Explain

The next week doesn’t prove to be any better, and Goose shows no signs of positive progress. At this point, he’s stopped coming to dinner or pretending to stay home at all. None of the others mention the situation at all. I’m not sure if it’s because they don’t know what to do, or they’re scared of getting me upset about it. The one time that I mention it, I’m told that it’s being handled. I still don’t skip a single day of texting him, even if I don’t get a response back now. If I’m honest, it hurts like a good hard punch to the chest every single time, but I will be the last person to ever give up on him. I just wish I knew what to do to help him get back to himself and us.

Yet, with midterms and spring break right on our heels, we’ve all managed to fall into some semblance of a routine. It doesn’t feel the same without Goose, but I’m putting my faith in the guys and trusting them to help him work his shit out. There’s no telling what the end game is for our freaky stalker either, but if they wanted to put a whole fuck ton of tension between us, they’ve successfully done so. Even without any new incidents lately, everyone seems on edge. It’s more noticeable in Teagan than anyone else. He’s nowhere near his usual playful self.

“Is there something on my face?” Lucas asks with a grin as we sit facing each other at the island counter.

I pull myself out of my head to find that I’ve been staring at him, lost in thought. Returning his smile, I say, “Sorry, got lost for a second.”

He winks at me, “That’s okay for a bit, as long as you always find your way back to us. Anything you want to talk about?”

I think on it before giving a quick shake of my head, “No, thanks. It’s just the usual.”

“Mmm,” he starts right before the ringing of his phone interrupts him.

When he answers, the voice on the other line clearly gives away who it is. Goose. My heart sputters in my chest just hearing it.

Lucas sighs, but not loud enough for him to hear, “Sure, man. I’ll be there. Give me twenty.”

He hangs up and rubs his temples making me ask, “Is everything alright?”

“Define alright,” he says, speaking honestly.

I nod, because I feel the same way, “You going to get him?”

Standing, he grabs his keys and stuffs his phone in his pocket he answers, “Yeah, baby. Can you go pick up Teagan without me?”

Maverick dropped T off at the team weight room earlier when he headed off to his lab, and we are supposed to be there shortly to get him. He probably wouldn’t mind waiting a few minutes for us to pick up Goose first, but that’s just an awkward car ride waiting to happen. So instead, I tell him yes.

I let him take T’s Jeep, and I take my old Malibu. I’ve seriously considered upgrading, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it. Plus, it’s comforting to know that if anything goes wrong with it, Lucas could fix it.

The drive to Teagan only takes about twenty minutes. It seems like everyone else has already left, because all of the parking spots are empty except one. Once I park, I contemplate just shooting him a text to let him know that I’m here, but ultimately decide against it. Maybe I can give him a pleasant surprise.

Getting out, I leave all my stuff in the car and just lock the doors. I instantly feel gross as soon as I do. With Spring trying to push Winter out, being outside has become nasty. It’s already trying to get humid, and a yellow film covers everything. I don’t even have to take a deep breath in order to make myself sneeze.

Crossing from outside to in is like night and day. Cold air assaults my body as soon as the door opens. Even with the cold air, it still smells like men and sweat. It’s not completely horrible, but it makes me glad I haven’t accepted any invitation to come inside before this. There are a few dark offices to the right and left before I get to the double doors leading into the workout area. My jaw drops as soon as I step through. I knew all of their equipment was state of the art, but damn. It’s a fitness nut’s paradise in here.

Teagan is sitting in the back corner sideways on one of the free weights benches, but I pull up short when I see him. A short-haired, blonde pixie-looking thing is in front of him, and he doesn’t even notice me standing here. It looks like they’re just innocently talking, so try to I choke down the jealous bitch trying to claw her way out, and I open my mouth to call out to him. Only, pixie makes her move first.

She bends down and grabs fistfuls of his long hair as she pulls his mouth to hers. His only saving grace would have been shoving her off the second she touched him, but he doesn’t. Their lips stay locked together even as he throws up his hands like he doesn’t know whether to surrender or push her away. It doesn’t matter, since he does neither. She may as well be kissing a statue, but still. He’s my goddamn statue.

I’m going to puke. Starting my walk backwards to keep from throwing up in the middle of the floor, I stumble over something behind me. A stack of weights goes tumbling over each other, and the sound echoes around the room as loud as a gunshot.

I’m half turned to try to catch the stuff from falling, but Teagan’s voice has me whipping my head back towards him.

“Kendall?”

When my eyes find his, I can’t help the tears that flow down my cheeks. He looks devastated, but it’s not even close to how I feel inside.

“Kendall, wait,” he pleads.

Making sure I’m clear of the mess I made, I take off at a dead sprint towards the door.

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