Page 61 of Refusing Kendall

His arms go around me, and he does the heavy lifting as he helps me stand. It takes a second, once I’m on my feet to get my bearings and not pass out. Taking advantage of his strength, I let him take the brunt of my weight as I put my face into his chest. Even through the pain medicine, the holes in my body feel like they’re busting open, and my guts are spilling out.

When I know it’s safe from me blacking out or puking everywhere, I lift my face to him, and he doesn’t need to be told twice that he owes me.

He continues holding me up as he kisses the last of the doubt from my mind. I give him back everything I have in that one gesture. In true Teagan form, he teases as much as he demands, and it only makes me want him that much more. Screw the pain and the nurses that would kick us out, I almost died, and I want him. There’s a shift between us, and he groans into my mouth, reminding me of the sounds he made in the Jeep forever ago. One hand continues to hold me up as the other travels up the open back of the gown and over my naked ass.

Of course, Mav chooses this point to clear his throat, reminding us of where we are. I glare at him when I pull away from Teagan.

“Don’t be mad,” T jests. “It’s not my fault you didn’t offer her proper motivation, dude.”

Between his words and my glare, it breaks Mav, and he laughs while shaking his head.

I want to laugh when the others do, but I’m really starting to hurt. Fuck the coffee, I’m done.

“I can’t,” I gasp as a sharp stabbing pain hits my shoulder. Thankfully, Teagan hung on to me, and he helps ease me back down into bed.

“Thanks,” I whisper, out of breath from that little bit of effort. My eyes close to hide the tears forming in them. I can’t even stand up on my own. This is going to make going to the bathroom and all of that other shit really awkward. I’ll have to get a stranger in here to help or get one of them to.Beats being dead, a tiny voice reminds me in the back of my head. I take a deep breath and nod. So true.

Mav’s voice pulls my eyes back open, “Here, baby girl,” my coffee is in his stretched-out hand as he hovers beside me. I almost argue that I didn’t really earn it since I only stood for a short bit, but I’m not stupid. I take it and motion for him to lean down. I’m rewarded with a smile from him as he does as I ask. Pressing my lips against his, there’s only a split second before he takes control in true Maverick fashion.

When he’s done ravishing my mouth, I whisper a thanks against his lips.

MAVERICK

Over the next couple of days, the four of us hover over Kendall as she gets her legs back under her. She doesn’t know it, but it hurts us just as bad mentally as it does her physically. My rage comes to a boiling point every time one of us has to help her to the bathroom. That one small thing, and she can’t even do it alone. It only makes it ten times worse, because the first couple of times she was so embarrassed and couldn’t hide that shit from us. I know she thought about having a nurse come in to help, but over my dead body, would a stranger help her before one of us.

I haven’t slept much in the week it’s been since we found out she was missing. It makes me more irritable than usual, which says something. She even banished me to the corner, yesterday, for it. The thought, alone, draws my lips up into a smile.

A little over a year ago, if someone would have told me that this would be my life, I would’ve punched them in the face just on principle, alone. After all the bullshit with my mom growing up, I didn’t want to be tied down to any woman and allow her that hold over me. Pushing Kendall away the first time just about destroyed everything that we have. Not just between her and us, but all of our friendships. I still find it surprising that she and the guys both forgave me so easily for it. Probably because they understand that we all have our own demons inside. I swore to myself it would never happen again, but this whole thing was just as much my fault as it was anyone’s.

The past few months came crashing down on all of our heads, and I dealt the best way I knew possible, pulling away from that shit before it wrecked me. Completely selfish of me, and I feel like a fucking coward for it. She looks at me funny now, like she’s expecting me to walk out on them at any second. I fucking despise myself for putting that doubt in her mind. The others have made their apologies, but I’ve never been one to put my shit out there for everyone to see. When I get her to myself for a little while, I’ll make sure she knows I’m not going anywhere.

Watching the news, the first couple of days after they pulled her out of the car, pissed me off so bad that I had to fight myself from driving down to the police station where those assholes are being held. Then, when I had to hear her side of the story, the only thing that kept me grounded was how broken she was. It saved me from doing something completely fucking stupid.

It hurt worse hearing the doubt that had taken root in her mind. With all the shit going down, we left her. Then a man she thought was family, pounded the nail in even deeper before he tried to kill her for money. Fucking idiot. He would have stood a better chance trying to ransom her. We would’ve paid anything to have her back. Can’t guarantee that one of us wouldn’t have tracked them down and slit their fucking throats, but they could’ve enjoyed the money for a moment or two.

“Mav?” her soft voice pulls me out of my head. Turning away from the window, I find the room empty but for us. She looks like she’s trying to get out of bed, so I move over to help her.

“Where are you headed?” I ask.

She wraps her arms around my middle and sighs against my chest, “Right here.”

I don’t hesitate to put my own around her. I’m on the shorter, leaner side, so I don’t dwarf her like Goose and Teagan do. Still, she fits perfectly into me. Goose had it right when he said we wouldn’t trade this for anything.

“I’m sorry we weren’t there,” I say into her hair.

Her arms tighten, “It’s okay. Nobody could’ve seen that coming. Not really.” It’s quiet for a moment before she says, “Can I ask you a question?”

I nod against her head, knowing where this is going.

“I’ve never wanted to hurt you or them. Never. I know that this is harder for you to accept than them, but why didn’t you help Lucas that day?” she asks.

“Honestly?” I reply. She nods against me, and I answer, “I froze. Goose had been acting nuts since his dad came when he was in the hospital. I haven’t seen him that bad off since the day I met him, still reeling from his mom leaving them. It’s been him and I for as long as I can remember knowing him. We stood up to his dad together when he couldn’t do it alone. Shit, he even forwent his given name when we were kids, so that we’d have what he called best friend nicknames.” Her soft laugh has me wishing that we were back home right now. I’d do anything to have her laying in bed with me. With us. There’s not much difference anymore.

Pulling away from those thoughts, I continue, “Then, when all that shit went down with Teagan, I just knew that it was the last straw. I was about to lose the only four people that I’ve ever really given a shit about.”

I use a finger to pull her face up to mine, “Four of the only people that I’ve ever loved. I panicked and shut down.”

“I’m not leaving until you ask me to,” she says, stealing my line, and it makes me smile. There’s not a lot of people that can bring one to my lips, but I’d do anything to make her eyes light up the way they do when she sees it.

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