Sobs rack my body and I can’t stop it. Pressing hands to my stomach and chest where it hurts does nothing to obliterate the pain.
A voice cuts across the grass, but I don’t care if anyone sees me like this. Who are they to judge how I grieve? Another voice closer than the last one means they’re probably heading my way. Please. Oh, fucking please just leave me alone.
“Kendall?” I recognize the face in front of me, but the pain in my chest is just too much.
The owner of the second voice comes around the side where I can see them and drops to their knees in front of me. Hands reach out to take mine and the difference in temperature between the two of us burns, “Jesus Christ, baby. You’re fucking freezing.”
Lucas shrugs off his jacket and throws it around my shoulders. He and Teagan both are in expensive looking black suits. Sitting on the ground with me is going to ruin them. I want to tell them not to bother, but I can’t think around the pain.
“Can we take you home?” Teagan asks softly.
I can’t even bring myself to look at either of them. I’m just an empty shell of a person right now, and I’d be more than happy to burst into flames and have my ashes scattered on the wind.
Gentle hands lift me from the ground. Goose puts his hands behind my back and knees as he picks me up, “Come on babe.”
I’m jostled as he walks us down the small hill. Someone says something beside us. The one voice I wasn’t expecting to hear and one that makes the tears flow even harder. Maverick.
Goose sighs, “I don’t know man. She’s so fucking skinny. Looks like she’s lost at least fifty pounds.”
Let them talk about me like I’m not here. I stare into the darkening sky as I count the stars between my tears.
Never putting me down, Goose loads us into the backseat of the Rover. Lucas sits in the back with us and I feel his hands trying to rub some feeling back into my legs. The whole ride to Sleepy Pines, Goose talks to me. Repeatedly telling me how sorry and stupid he is. I want to respond to him, to soothe his guilt. I just can’t. There’s a hole where my heart should be, and if I open my mouth to speak, it’s going to cave in on itself.
When we make it home, I’m carried up the few steps to our porch.
“Door’s locked,” Teagan says.
Standing in front of us, Lucas turns around, “Do you have your key?” I rake my eyes over him. His shaggy hair is lying all over the place like he’s been running his hand through it. I meet his blue eyes and I see so much regret and sorrow there that it breaks my heart all over again. Sobs rack my body and I can do nothing but watch as his own tears begin to fall.
“I’m going to search your jacket for the keys, baby,” he tells me quietly.
They find the keys that I must have stashed in my pocket at some point. When we walk in, Maverick swears under his breath, “Why’s it so fucking cold in here?”
“Lights aren’t working either,” Lucas says flipping a switch on and off.
Teagan’s face is illuminated from the screen of his phone, “Already on it.”
Goose shifts underneath me, “Can you stand if I put you down?” When I don’t answer, he tries anyways. I reach out and grab the counter for support. With him hovering, I make my way around the counter to the sink. The one thing I need right now is sitting right where I left it. Popping the lid on the medicine bottle, I toss back one of the little white pills without anything to even wash it down. Doesn’t matter, it’s only going to take a few minutes to kick in and I’ll have the security blanket of numbness back.
“What was that?” Teagan asks coming around the counter and picking up the bottle from the counter. With Lucas standing over his shoulder, he reads the label and his eyes go wide. Maverick comes from the side and rips the bottle from his hands. The fury on his face would scare the hardest of criminals. He takes a quick second to read it then steps into my space so that I have no choice but to watch as he takes the lid off and pours the pills down the drain. Dropping the bottle and lid in the sink, he turns to stalk away.
That will matter later, but right now, I don’t give a fuck. I push my way through the three of them crowded in the small kitchen and make my way over to the couch. Laying down, I face to the back and tuck my arms in on myself. I fall asleep wrapped in the smell of leather and Lucas.
My head is foggy the next morning as I wake up. There are voices in the house and I know there’s not supposed to be. It all comes back in a rush, and the pain comes back with it. Everything hurts. I’m just physically and mentally exhausted. Today was the day I said I would start new, but I’m not ready. Sitting up, I realize that I’m bundled up with blankets and my head had been lying in Teagan’s lap. Unrolling myself from the cocoon of blankets, I ignore the voices as I make my way into the kitchen. The empty pill bottle in the sink is like a kick in the stomach. Turning around, I find Maverick leaned against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. He’s still in his suit from yesterday, only he lost the jacket, and the sleeves of his white button up are rolled up his forearms. I’m torn between wanting to punch him in his smug rich boy face and begging him to take me right here on the counter.
Instead, I narrow my eyes and walk back towards my bathroom. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I dig through the medicine cabinet and just as my hand closes around the bottle that I’m looking for, I feel him come up behind me. It could be any of them, honestly, but there’s something about Mav’s presence that refuses to go unnoticed. His hand whips out and snatches it from my fingers. I turn just in time to see him stuff it in his pocket.
You don’t get to tell me what to do. Especially after what you did, I want to scream. Splaying my palms against his chest, I shove him back as hard as I can. If he would have known it was coming, I probably wouldn’t have been able to make him budge. As it stands, I caught him off guard and he slams into the bathroom wall. His nostrils flare and he lunges, pressing me back against the sink. Fists down on the counter top on either side of my hips, his face is only inches from mine when Teagan comes around the corner.
Maverick doesn’t flinch or take his eyes off my face as Teagan says, “There’s some guy here to see Kendall. Something about the lot for the house.”
With the way that Mav is standing, I’m trapped until he decides that he wants to let me move. It’s almost as if Teagan and I both are holding our breath waiting to see what he’s going to do. He makes me meet his eyes before pulling away, only far enough for me to have to squeeze by him. Teagan puts his hand at the small of my back and guides me through the hallway. By the time that I’ve made my way into the living room, I’ve had time to wipe my sweaty palms against my dress.
The property manager stands up from the couch where he was sitting glaring at Goose in Gramps’ chair. When he sees me, he plasters a fake smile on his face, “Kendall. Good to see you, kiddo.” I watch his eyes glance down to Teagan’s hand still on my back and then over our shoulder to where I can hear Mav leaving the bathroom. His smile turns disapproving, but he doesn’t say anything about it.
He motions to some papers and a casserole dish laid out on the counter, “I’m sorry to hear about your grandpa and I know it’s only been a day, but we’ve got to cover some legalities of the property. Do you happen to have his will?” They might be in that packet Mr. Bishop gave me, but the thought of this weasel putting his grubby fingers on it makes me want to puke. When I don’t say anything, he points back to the papers, “We need to know who the property is passing to after someone dies. If we don’t have his will or have you sign this paper right here saying that you’ll take over then we’ll need you to pack your stuff and leave the premises no later than thirty days from now.”
“May I see that?” Tegan asks him. I remember from one of our conversations months ago that Teagan’s dad is a lawyer of some sort.