Page 44 of Reviving Kendall

“I’ve never asked anything of you guys,” I whisper trying to fight the tears threatening to pour down my face.

He sneers at me, “You never have to. They do it anyways. You even had me going last night.” Looking at Teagan over my shoulder, he says, “That’s right. The girl that you’ve been stuck on for months, the same one you were about to fuck in the snow outside, shared a bed with me last night.”

My face gets hot at what he’s suggesting, and I lose the fight against the tears as they roll down my face.

Goose steps up behind Lucas, “You need to chill the fuck out, dude.”

“Or what?” Mav asks him, “You going to fight me? Whatever happened to bros before hoes?”

Lucas shoves him back and he crashes into the long table behind him, “Stop fucking talking about her like that.”

Mav’s fists ball up like he’s getting ready to punch something or someone, “You’re kidding me, right? Look at this bullshit. Prime example. I don’t know why any of you would even bother anyways. You going to sit here and honestly say that any of your families would be ok with you dating a girl from the fucking trailer park?”

He could have said anything else and it wouldn’t have hurt as bad as the knife that cuts through my chest at that. The only thing that could have softened the blow would have been one of them disagreeing with him, but they don’t. That says all that it needs to right there in that one moment.

Pulling away from Teagan, I make my way up the stairs ignoring their voices calling me back. I haven’t even made it all the way up before I hear the front door open and slam shut. Once I’m safely behind my locked door, I let out the anguish that’s sitting on my chest and suffocating me.

Hours later, out of tears and numb inside, I walk out on to the balcony. The guys must be out on the back porch of the cabin, because their voices travel up to me.

“We made this pact at the beginning of the year,” Maverick is saying. “The only way to get the fuck away from our parents is by getting into a good school. One that they don’t have to pay for. No fucking girls, remember? We all agreed that we’d focus on school and football to get our fucking scholarships. Girls are too much of a distraction. I can’t believe that any of us made it this long, but this is an even bigger mess. Coming to fucking blows over the same girl, it’s stupid and all kinds of fucked up. I talked to her, and she said that she just wanted friends, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. My mistake.”

I have to place a hand over my mouth to cover the sound of my sobbing.

Someone says something, but it’s so low that I can’t make out who said it.

Maverick sighs, “The best thing we can do is just put distance between us when we get home. You know what I said before was true anyways. Nothing would ever come from it. That’s not to even mention the math in the equation. One of her and four of us. Like I said, it’s best just to go ahead and cut ties now.”

I can’t listen to anymore. Each word is like a new open wound in my chest. Sneaking quietly back in, I lay back on the bed and ponder my options as leftover tears roll down the side of my face. I knew this shit was going to happen. I’m just as much as a dumb fuck as they are for even thinking about it. Even though I told myself that nothing was serious with any of them, it doesn’t help the clenching of my stomach anytime that I think about it.

My sadness eventually wears off, and anger replaces it. That old saying comes to mind, it takes two to tango, and how fucking true that shit is. I didn’t push to be friends. I never made the first move with any of them. And I damn sure didn’t ask for this shit. After what I’ve already been through, this should be a cakewalk. They don’t go to my school, so I never have to see their faces again if that’s what I choose.

In full rage mode, I’m on autopilot as I pack what little was taken out of my bag. I’m not even sure what all goes in or if I get everything. I just need to get out of here before I say things that I won’t be able to take back. I pace the floor waiting for them to go to bed. Luck is on my side for once, they’re in bed before nine. I hear all of their doors shut and I count in my head. I’m going to try Ryleigh first, because I doubt any cabs would run up here.

I open the door to my room and almost scream. Ryleigh is standing there with her hand raised to knock. She yanks me into a hug as she keeps repeating that she’s sorry. So, I guess it’s a safe bet to say that she overheard everything today.

“Can you take me home?” I ask trying not to beg.

She nods, “We’re already packed and ready to go. I figured you’d want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

Still on autopilot, I return her nod, “I was just waiting til they went to bed. I don’t think I can handle any more of them tonight.”

“Come on then. Let’s go,” she says sadly.

I grab my bag off the bed and follow her out. Waiting in the Jeep for her and Eddie to grab the bags is like pure torture. A sigh escapes me as they finally get in the car, even if Eddie is green faced and looking like he’s going to puke in the front seat. As we pull off, I see a shadow in the window on the front of the cabin. My brain wants to wonder who it could be, but I shut that shit down. Making it to the bottom of the mountain, it’s a few more miles before the sound of Ryleigh and Eddie talking in the front seat puts me to sleep.

Stolen Time

It’s a few hours before we get home. I feel really bad about falling asleep when they were nice enough to leave early and drive through the wee hours of the night just to bring me back, but I just can’t help it. Crying always leaves me feeling exhausted.

“Thanks,” I tell Ryleigh as I unload my bag from the Jeep.

She gets out and comes around the side. Her long blonde hair whips me in the face as she pulls me into a hug. The blonde locks remind me so much of Teagan that it sends a pang right through my chest.

“Don’t give up on them,” she tells me. “They’re being grade A assholes right now and I want to throat punch every last one of them, but they’ll come around.”

I nod, even though I have absolutely no intention of doing it. She smiles at me, and my heart breaks a little more as I watch her drive away. Pretty soon she’ll see what they do, and I’ll lose my best friend too.

Feeling fucking shitty, I sneak into the trailer. The last thing I want to do is wake up Gramps and have to explain why I’m back early. I doubt I could even come up with something good to tell him without breaking down into a stupid sobbing mess again. Dropping my bag on the floor, I fall face first into my bed that smells like home. It’s funny how just a few months ago the smell made me want to puke, and now it’s all the comfort I need to lull me back into sleep.

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