Page 10 of Reviving Kendall

“Because,” he starts, “They have some that you can’t see unless they are fully undressed, and I know for a fact they wouldn’t tell you no.”

My face turns red and make it a point to eat and not talk anymore.

After a few minutes, Lucas says, “Want to make a deal?”

Tilting my head to the side, I ask, “What kind of deal?”

“One where I show you the rest of them,” he replies.

It sounds sketch, but what girl in my shoes would say no, “Ok.”

He nods as if he expected my answer, “Tell me where you were earlier, and I’ll show them to you.”

I’m confused, “What do you mean? I went straight from home to school today.”

“Not then,” he says with a sad smile, “Where you were in your head when I called for you today?”

“Oh,” I say glancing at the table. “I told you. I’ve just had a shitty couple of days and I’m just mentally exhausted dealing with the bullshit that comes with life.”

“Does it have anything to do with those assholes in the car last night?” he asks with a serious tone in his voice. I don’t want to lie to him and tell him no, because they have been some of it here lately. “Or is it about the reason why you’re scared of cars.”

My eyes flick up to his and I reign in the anger trying to bubble out of my mouth. His voice turns soft again, “My dad died in a car crash when I was two years old. I wasn’t even old enough to know anything. He was just there one day and not the next. I don’t even remember anything about him. If it hadn’t been for my uncle, I’m pretty sure that my mom would have gone insane.”

My face scrunches with confusion and he says, “Yeah, my dad’s brother is now my step-dad. Trust me. I caught so much shit for that one growing up. People love the incest jokes even though they aren’t even close to being the same thing.” He pauses and runs a hand across his jaw, “That’s how Maverick and I became friends. Seventh grade and he was new, he hadn’t heard all of the rumors yet. This kid we called Johnny come up and started shit with me one day and Maverick threw him to the dirt and beat the hell out of him. We’ve been best friends ever since.”

I mull his words over in my brain before quietly asking, “But what if my story doesn’t have a happy ending like yours?”

He leans his arms down on the table and waits until I’m looking straight at him, “With the way that you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, I assumed that it didn’t.”

I suck in a shaky breath, “My boyfriends died in a train wreck two years ago.”

He doesn’t even flinch at the plural use of the word, “They were the guys in that old Camaro?” I nod, and he says, “Yeah, I remember when that happened.”

Tears roll down my cheek and there’s no stopping them now, “They were my best friends and it’ll be exactly two years ago next week. That’s where I was today when you called for me. Wishing for the millionth time that I had been in that car with them.”

He chews his bottom lip and I close my eyes not wanting to see any kind of pity or whatever on his face. I hear him shift in the booth and the next thing I know, he is pushing into my side to get me to scoot over. When I oblige him, he sits and takes my hand in his, “Do you think that’s what they would’ve wanted?”

I shake my head and let out a small laugh, “No, if they were here they’d either be pissed or laughing at me right now.”

With him sitting this close, when his voice goes quiet, it turns into this smoky sound that sends shivers down my spine, “Kendall, this is probably one of the hardest things that you will ever have to go through, but it will make you a better person for it. You just have to live. If for no other reason than for them. Live life to the fullest, just like you know that they would want you to.”

His words make sense and he’s right. I don’t know why it takes him saying it for it to click in my head, but I do want to live for them. I want to start right now. With Lucas sitting so close, it’s nothing to tilt my head up and give him the ok look to kiss me. His eyes flick down to my lips and I close my eyes as I feel his breath on my face. That’s the moment his phone decides to go off in his pocket. It’s playing the song from Top Gun and I can already guess who it is calling.

Lucas sighs and presses his forehead against mine, “I’m sorry.”

He pulls away and answers the phone as I’m left wondering what he’s apologizing for, sympathy for my story or the almost kiss.

“Yeah, hang on just a sec,” he says to one of the guys on the line. Turning to me he says, “They got out early and want me to meet them here for food. If you don’t want to see them then now’s our chance to run. We’ve got about a five-minute window.”

If I’m going to try my hand at this new me, I’ve got to keep it rolling or I might wimp out and decide it’s not worth it after all, “It’s ok. We can wait for them.”

One side of his mouth pulls up and he puts the phone back to his face, “Already here waiting on you dude. Yeah, I didn’t know you were getting out early and I was fucking starved. Whatever asshole, see you in a few.”

“Let me guess,” I say, “Maverick?”

He laughs, “I would say how’d you guess, but it’s not even worth the breath it takes.”

For the first time in a very long time, I feel a small weight lift from my heart as I laugh with him.

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