Page 51 of Escaping Wonderland

She searched his eyes, leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to his lips. Her mouth was soft and sweet, but, too soon, she pulledaway. He was tempted to lay her back upon the bed, to fall into her arms, to pick up where they’d left off before Miraxis arrived. He was tempted to thrust into her hot, tight channel, to become one with her and forget about anything and everything but the woman before him.

But he restrained himself. He’d tried to explain away Alice’s claims, had tried to dismiss them as unhinged ravings, and that was in direct opposition to the affection he felt toward her. He needed to know her story. He needed to hear all of it—not just to know whyshe thought none of this was real, but to learn about her.

He realized now what he should have known all along—their physical connection would never be enough. Not without something deeper, something stronger, something that would link them together whether they were touching each other or not.

“I was born into a wealthy family and grew up with everything I could have ever wanted,” Alice said. “I attended a private school and received a stellar education. But my life… It was lonely. I had friends, but I always felt as though I didn’t belong, as though I didn’t fit in, as though they’d always secretly judged me because of what happened between my parents.

“My mother and father separated when I was little. It was a vicious divorce, and it brought a lot of attention to our family. There were rumors, paparazzi, and so much fighting. My mother reveled in the shame it brought to my father, and fed into the rumors, doing everything she could to squeeze as much money out of him as possible. I didn’t like seeing my father so unhappy, so I did my best to be a good, dutiful daughter.

“He remarried a few years later, when I was eight, to a woman named Tabitha Compton. My father said she was a good suit for him, and that I needed a mother figure in my life. Agoodmother figure. She was a pretty lady, younger than him,who’d been widowed a couple years before. She had a son who was five years older than me. But I…didn’t like her much. I don’t know why. I always just felt uneasy around her, but I never said anything. I didn’t want to disappoint my father. He was happy. Hedeservedto be happy.”

She went quiet and dropped her gaze to his cheek, which she continued to stroke with her thumb. In her silence, Miraxis’s pleas from the bathroom seemed louder and more irksome; were it not for Alice’s touch, Shadow would have stood up, walked into the bathroom, and silenced Miraxis without a second thought as to whether death was permanent or not.

Alice slid her hand down to Shadow’s chest, settling her palm over his heart. “While I was growing up, every time I thought about doing something bad—even if it really wasn’tthatbad a thing—I always stopped myself by wondering what my father would do if he found out, or asking myself what kind of scandal my actions would bring on our family. I didn’t want to make him feel…ashamed or embarrassed of me. I know he loved me more than anything, so I…I couldn’t doanythingthat would’ve hurt him.

“So, I played it safe. I didn’t go to parties with my friends, didn’t experiment with drugs, didn’t drink, didn’t have sex…” She looked away from him. “No, that’s not true. Ididdo those things—once—and I felt…awfulafterwards.”

Shadow’s throat was suddenly tight. He forced his breath through it slowly and, somehow, managed to keep from wrapping her in his arms, clutching her body against his, and taking her right now to prove that she wasonlyhis,alwayshis. It didn’t matter how long ago it had been, or if it had only been once—he could not stand the thought of another male having her. He couldn’t stand the thought of her carrying another male’s scent when he seemed unable to mark her with his own.

“And then, a few months ago”—her eyes welled with tears—“my father died. I don’t remember too much after that, just this heavy grief, this pain, this emptiness and loneliness. I had Tabitha and Jonathon, who were basically my family, but there was a chasm between us. Tabitha was always socold, and Jonathon…”

She met Shadow’s gaze. “Even though he found success and respect working for my father’s company, at heart, he’s a coddled boy who does anything his mother tells him. So, I locked myself away as I mourned my father. I barely ate, I didn’t answer calls, I just…wanted to be alone. But…buttheycame. I was in…in my father’s office, and I was… I…I can’t remember what I was doing, buttheycame and took me away.”

Alice looked away again, and her eyes gleamed with a hint of fear. She removed her hand from Shadow’s chest and slipped her fingers into her hair, clutching a fistful of it. “I’m trying to think, to remember, but it’s all getting hazier the longer I’m here…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Their hands hurt. They were dragging me through a hall. I remember voices, but I can’t…I can’t rememberthem. They did something to me, and I was confused, but I remember…the coffin. No, a box, or apod. They put me in a pod and all I remember after that is pain. So, so muchpain.”

Her other hand joined the first in her hair. She squeezed her golden locks as she rocked back and forth on the edge of the bed, her eyes glistening with tears. “I can’t remember why I was there, or who they were.Whycan’t I remember?”

Flashes of one of the strange, overwhelming visions Shadow had experienced last night flitted through his mind—dim lights, strong hands, a coffin-like bed. It was eerily similar to what Alice had just described.

She’s told me before, she must’ve. I just…forgot about it until now, and it lingered in my subconscious until last night. That vision was my imagination, sparked by her story.

Clenching his jaw, he drew in a deep breath; his weak attempts at rationalization weren’t even convincing to himself anymore. Fear fluttered in his gut, but he refused to let it spread, refused to succumb to it.

He settled his hands over hers and gently pried them out of her hair before guiding them down. Once she’d lowered her arms, he cupped her cheeks in his palms, brushing away her tears with his thumbs. “It’s okay, Alice. You’re with me now, and everything is okay.”

“Why can’t I remember, Shadow?” She opened her eyes and met his. “What if I forget my past? What if I forgeteverything, even myself? What if I let myself forget? What if I start believing this place…”

“You won’t forget everything. You know in your heart what’s true.”

She took firm hold of his hands. “Youforgot, Shadow. You believe this place is real. That all of this is real.”

He searched her sorrowful, desperate gaze; it seemed to mirror the ominous feelings brimming in his chest. “I don’t know anymore. Don’t know what to believe in, apart from you. This is the only reality I know, and if it’s fake…what does it matter? You and I are real even if nothing else is, aren’t we?”

She nodded, her grip on his hands tightening as though he was all that anchored her. “But we can’t stay here.”

Shadow glanced around the room. “In this house?”

Alice stared at him for a moment before the corners of her lips twitched and rose into a smile. She laughed, shaking her head, and launched herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Shadow embraced her in turn. Her breasts were soft against his chest, her body warm and supple.

Despite everything—Miraxis tied up and begging in the bathroom, the cracks forming in reality all around him, the emotional weight of Alice’s story—Shadow was tempted to makelove to her right then. He was tempted to guide her legs around his waist and slide into her welcoming heat.

She turned her face into his hair, nuzzling his neck. “No. We can’t stay in this house, but we also can’t stay here, in this simulation. In Wonderland. We need to find a way to…wake up.”

Shadow rested his chin on her shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want to think about that anymore, didn’t want to deal with it. He just wanted to hold her forever. But he knew she was right, even if only a small part of him accepted that knowledge. “How do we do that, Alice? How do we wake up?”

His mind flashed to the swamp of sleepers for an instant—to the tall, gray-skinned sleeper with the tail—before he snapped himself back to the present.

“He travels between worlds,” Alice murmured. “The Red King knows the way.”

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