Page 86 of The Failed Audition

“You raised your siblings. You realize that, right?”

He lets out a short laugh. “Not well enough.”

I frown and shake my head. The waiter comes around and takes our orders. A salmon dish for me, and chicken for him.

“You’re wrong,” I tell him, the flames creating shadows over his strong features in the dark. He looks like a devil dressed in black at first sight, but coming to know him, he’s the god that everyone describes. “Katya is sweet and friendly.” I think about his brother, the one who offered me mints and stole Skittles for his little sister. “Luka is generous and kind.” And Timo—magnetic. There are no just words to define him. I smile, staring off. “And Timo is…captivating, more full of life than anyone I’ve ever met.”

When I look up at Nikolai, his brows are furrowed, overwhelmed. He combs his fingers through his hair, turning his head as he processes my words.

He lets out another short laugh, this time in disbelief. “When people first meet my siblings, they see the worst in them.” Lines crease his forehead. “Katya is too naïve. Luka is too irresponsible. And Timo is…” He shakes his head. “Timo is chaos.”

“That’s rude,” I state.

He laughs into a bigger smile. “Where did you come from?”

“I think the same thing about you, you know.” He’s given me so much in a short amount of time. Determination, motivation. I am overflowing with better, brighter sentiments.

“According to you, I came from hell.” There is light behind his gunmetal eyes.

Technically that was John, but that thought has definitely impacted me. I struggle for a response. He’s distracting. Everything about him—his unshaven jaw, his soul-bearing gaze,his masculinity. I can’t concentrate, even if I was good at bantering.

I mutter, “Demons are from hell.” It sounds lame.

“Thank God for that.”

Maybe I’m not so bad at this. I stir my straw, the ice cubes melting. There are so many mysteries to him still. Stones left unturned. “Can I ask you something personal?” I wonder.

He stays relaxed. “Sure.”

“What happened with your family?” I pause to clarify. “I mean, your parents and other brothers are at Noctis, but it’s a new show. You said you haven’t seen them for six years, so…”

He lets go of my hand on the table, and I almost regret bringing it up. He sighs heavily like the past bears down on him, a weighted pressure that I can’t even begin to understand.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to—”

“No, I can,” he interjects. He rubs his jaw in thought, of how to start. He must not explain this often. “When I grew up, we were traveling with Nova Vega and then Celeste mostly in North America. All together. It’d been that way until my parents were recruited for Somnio, to oversee the Russian swing. It would go on a five-year tour, through Asia, Europe and South America.”

He stops for a second, staring faraway at the memory. It’s not often that he wears this look. It strangely pulls at my lungs.

“My closest aunt and uncle, Dimitri’s parents, were recruited for Infini, which would go to New York for three years and then move to Vegas. So my extended family would be split for the first time. We all couldn’t be in the same show, the same place, and unfortunately, Katya, Timo, and Luka had no choice where they ended up.”

“What…?” I breathe.

His jaw locks for a second, and he breathes through his nose. “My parents,” he starts. “They wanted stability for the younger kids. They were ten, twelve and thirteen at the time.” He looksup, at the night sky, blanketed with stars. “It left Peter, me, and Sergei with a choice. Somnio would pay better. Somnio was more elite. And it’d award us more freedom.” When he takes another long pause, sipping his wine, I digest every syllable, every word.

“You were the only one who chose to be with them,” I realize. At twenty, he decided to take on his parent’s responsibility instead of living his own life. It’s not only admirable—thatis courageous. There are tears in my eyes that he can’t see. He’s staring out at the city.

“Peter was eighteen, he wanted to travel,” he says. “Sergei was twenty-two, he had no desire to stay with our younger siblings. I wasn’t going to leave them and hope that our aunt and uncle would pay attention. They have five kids of their own.”

“So when Somnio ended…”

“Noctis began,” he says. “So did Amour and Viva.”

It cemented the fact that they’d be apart much longer than they might’ve intended.

Maybe that’s why Kayta is so upset. She could’ve been counting down to Somnio’s closing night, in hopes that her parents would return then.

“Do you miss them?” I ask as he turns back to me.

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