Page 19 of The Failed Audition

“The winds are strong,” Helen continues, and Elena begins to sway back and forth, like she’s performing a lyrical dance.

This whole time, he wasn’t messing with me? Nikolai observes Elena with a stiff, rigid posture. While the young gymnast pretends to be blown over, I try to make sense of my audition.

He was really trying to help me.

From the beginning, maybe.

Trust me.

He said that last night. Trust. I was supposed to do as he said, without question, because he’s supposed to be my partner.IfI get this role. It’s looking grim now.

“Purr,” Helen instructs. She might as well have kicked me in the gut.

And apparently humanscanpurr. The sound that Elena produces is like a vibration off her tongue.

Fuck my life.

I tuck my legs to my chest, and I plaster my gaze right on Nikolai, hoping he’ll feel the heat off my stare. I’m not looking for reassurance. I think, mostly, I want to apologize. I should’ve stepped out of my box today. He was trying to pull me out of it, and I fought back. I resisted.

He concentrates solely on Elena.

“You’re madly in love with the blue mat,” Helen tells her.

And that’s when Nikolai has enough of my penetrating gaze. He finally turns his head and gives me a look likeI’m working, Thorabefore I can offer an apologetic one.

I mouth,I’m sorry.

I wish I could have a redo. I’m not sure I’d be a better horny cat or a more vicious dog, but I wouldn’t have faltered so much.

I would’ve barreled forward, no matter how awkward I felt.

He shakes his head at me likeit’s over now. But his eyes seem to soften a fraction before he returns them to Elena.

I can’t believe this is how it’s all ending.

ACT FOUR

After each girl auditions, the directors go into deliberation and Helen says that we can look around the gym while we wait for first cuts.

I end up in the locker rooms, scanning the names on the blue metaled doors. I don’t think I was the worst one at acting. One girl was asked to be fire and water, and she ended up doing the worm. But I definitely didn’t possess Elena’s grace or Kaitlin’s head-first, no-holds-barred gusto.

Honestly, I think I faded into the background.

I skim my fingers over a worn name scribbled on the locker label:Dimitri

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I jump at the deep voice behind me. Nikolai leans his shoulder on a blue locker, arms crossed, his dark hair spilling over his red bandana. His intensity doesn’t diminish.

“You never asked me anything,” I whisper, even though it’s already quiet here.

He blinks a few times and lets out an exasperated laugh before shaking his head like he can’t believe this happened. I can’t either. “At The Red Death,” he begins, “did you even know what I was going to do?”

“I told you it was my first time in Vegas.”

He rubs his lips, upset it seems. “I assumed you heard about what happens from a friend.”

“No,” I say. “I knew nothing.”

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