Page 74 of The Failed Audition

It’s ordinary when you’re simply happy.

It’s remarkable when you can make others feel what you do.

“Don’t stare into his eyes!” John shouts to me. “Little parts of you will die inside!”

He almost lifts my spirits.

A smile stretches Timo’s beautiful features. “So you’re admitting to feeling something from me, John?!”

John glares. “Death. I feel death!”

Timo whistles, but I can’t hear the sound from the pop song. “That’s a strong feeling.”

John looks like he wants to drown his irritations in an eighty-foot pool, though he’s still here. So there’s that. He snatches more shots off a tray, and this time, the server lets him takethem. He knows her, I guess. And he passes me two shots and keeps one for himself.

I down both, the burn not as terrible. I actually like it. Then I sway to the music, and I notice older guys near a high-top table eyeing our three-person group. Only their attention is plastered to Timo—with lustful,I want to fuck youlooks.

I realize that Timo has been scoping out the club, and he grazes that area a bit, knowing how many men are watching him. A weird pressure sits on my chest, and it takes me a second to discern the sentiment. Protective—I feel strangely protective over him.

He’s eighteen, I remember. But he carries himself like the world is a playground for his appetite.Vegas is his home.He’s not a fish-out-of-water like I was—still am sometimes. He’s okay.

John follows my gaze to the other guys. He rolls his eyes and quite literally blocks them out with his back.

Hands touch my waist, and I jump and slide to the left to see Nikolai. I freeze cold. He stares down, his gaze deepening into mine, carrying a storm past comprehension. I don’t know what to make of it.

“Hi.” His husky voice solidifies my bones. Just one word. That’s all I get.

“…hey,” I manage with a nod. The liquor starts to churn my insides like molten lava, no longer warm and comforting.

Nikolai keeps his hand on my hip, filling the almost non-existent gap between me and Timo. I hone in on his hand, on each finger that slips further around me. I can’t—I step out of his grasp, and his arm falls. I stare at the red strobe lights on the ceiling as though God will impart me with some much-needed wisdom.

“Don’t you have an ass to tattoo?!” John yells, his surly tone sounding a hint more malicious.

It shouldn’t matter, Thora.

I know. I know.

I’m trying to make it not matter. How do I do that? My mind and my body are not on the same wavelength, clearly, and I’m having a difficult time reuniting them.

He grabbed a girl’s ass and sucked on her face.

Stop. Stop.

“I’m done for the night!” Nikolai shouts over the bass. “Are you two…” His voice dies in the music. I look up and see his grays darting between John and me. The look he wears—it matches the one I had earlier, when I saw him lip-locked with that girl.

His facial muscles tightening, his shoulders strict.

John seems highly unamused. “She’s not my type! While her ambitions are slightly endearing, they’remostlydelusional! But that’s not even the problem.” I did catch that compliment in there. I mean, this could be worse. Right?

“What’s the problem?” Nikolai asks, opening the floodgates.

“She has a vagina!” The music switched songs right when he screamed that. It came out so much louder than it should have.

I shut my eyes with a wince. Yeah, he just mentioned my vagina. To Nikolai. To make a point that he’s gay, and it’s just—a lot to take in. I just really, really hope I’m the only one picturing my vagina right now.Please let this be true.

I tentatively open my eyes by the silence. Timo is smiling like he’s already known this fact about John. And I can feel Nikolai’s hot gaze penetrating me.

Don’t engage—John basically said as much the first time I met Nikolai. Maybe I should’ve listened to him back then. I can still try now.

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