Page 110 of The Failed Audition

“Stop it,” my father cuts in, his voice like nails, full of angry disappointment. “Stop talking, Thora.” His gaze shifts to the seat beside him, my mom burying her face in her hands, tears streaming full-force.

I look away.

And that’s when I catch someone watching us. A girl at the bar. Long legs and arms and pale skin. Katya’s round, globe eyes fix right on me. This is her favorite diner, so of course she’s here.

Concern reflects in her gray irises, empathy for me.

Tears sting, clouding my vision. Once upon a time, I saw a broken girl sitting in a booth. That’s how I met Katya. And now here she sees me. Fracturing in a booth, splitting apart. Life is a rollercoaster with no volunteers. We’re all forced to take a seat and ride it out.

She mouths,are you okay?

Hot tears roll down my cheeks, but I nod. She shouldn’t worry over my problems. Last month, I confessed to her that I’d been lying to my parents, after she asked what they thought of me being in Vegas. Wrong confession. To the wrong people. Always.

I turn my attention to my parents, both silent in thought. “I’m sorry,” I say what I should’ve started with. I choke out the rest. “I didn’t…I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You lost your scholarship,” my dad says, his face reddening in ire. “You had ayearleft of school. That’s it. Was your college education not worth it to you?” For my father, this is a rhetorical question.

It has to be worth it to me. It’s what’ll pay my bills without headache, he believes.

I answer it anyway. “This was worth more.”

I want them to see how much it took out of me to stay here. To be alone in a city withnofamiliar face. But their viewpoint is Shay’s. To them, this is nothing more than foolish. A dumb move in the game of life. I went off the board, left the right path. And decided to take one that never existed in the first place.

When my father looks at me, it’s as if he’s laying eyes on a stranger. “So you’re dancing at that club?” The disgust in his voice caves my chest. My mom still cries. Unable to produce words, she fists a crumpled tissue.

“I’m an aerialist at Phantom,” I choke out, tears falling as I blink. I don’t mention the turn of events after tonight. It’s not the right time to bring it up—and I may…I may find a way out of it. Then I’ll tell them. “And I’m…training with someone from Aerial Ethereal. I’m going to audition in January. I don’t know if Shay told you about that.”

“Your boyfriend is training you,” my dad snaps. “That older Russian man.” The way he saysman, it sounds vile.

“He’s twenty-six,” I mutter, feeling sick all of a sudden. Nausea churning.

“That’s okay, honey,” my mom sniffs loudly. She shoots a look at my dad. She’s defending me? I rub my watery eyes, my hand slick with tears. Why does her support hurt too? I don’t understand…a larger pain just bears on my chest.

My dad shifts in his seat.

“We’re not here to discuss your relationship,” she says softly. “That’s your business. You’re old enough to make those choices. We just wished we were informed about the other part…” She sniffs harder, a croak in her voice. “After all we’ve…” Her lips vibrate now.

“I’m sorry,” I cry out, reaching across the table for her hand. She lets me hold it. “I’m really sorry, Mom.”

“I am too,” she replies. “For making you feel like we would’ve swayed your decisions…” She shakes her head. “You’re an adult, Thora. You can do whatever you want. We just want you to be safe and to help you choose right.”

To help me choose right.But what happens if their choices don’t align with mine? Moving against them is worse than moving against the grain. It’s like trying to stop a wave from breaking.

My brick-walled father is not as eager to forgive and forget. “You’re still working at this club?”

“I can’t go home—”

“Yes you can,” he says. “Stop this.”

I shake my head.

“If you go back now, you’ll only be a semester behind.”

“No, I have auditions…” I trail off as his jaw hardens, his eyes shooting caustic bullets into me.

“Paul,” my mom says in defense. “She’s twenty-one—”

“She’s still our daughter. This is so…”stupid, he’s going to say. I’m being stupid. For being here. Taking this risk.

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