Page 17 of Darkhan

Harmony gasped, realizing she had turned and slumped against the tiled wall of the shower as water continued raining down on her. She had been too desperate, too naïve, and too optimistic.

She looked down at herself, at the way her belly fat squished with her position and her breasts hung sloppily down her chest. The way her thighs splayed out like pale slabs of meat. It was no wonder he hadn’t wanted her. She was fat, short, andin every way an unsuitable match for a man as imposing and powerful as Zeno Darkhan. She was a freakingantcompared to him, and she hadn’t even ever seen his other form.

Tears and shower water burned her eyes and she was having to breathe through her mouth, as her nose had become congested due to her sobbing. She needed to pick herself up and start the scrubbing process before the water got any cooler. She needed to suck up her pride and pilfer whatever clothes Zeno had left out for her so she could leave this place, these memories, and this future that was never meant to be behind her. Except every time she thought about doing that, the tears redoubled.

She blamed her exhausted hyper-emotional state for why she didn’t notice that her privacy had been invaded until it was too late.

Without warning, Zeno’s shadow blocked out the bathroom light and his low, displeased growl filled the room. A single second later, she was up and off the floor, his already familiarly warm, strong arms supporting her like she weighed as much as a paper doll. “No more crying.”

Her muscles tightened and she sucked in a wet, watery breath. She didn’t have the strength to shove at him. Not when he twisted them enough to switch off the shower, not when he practically stomped from the large shower stall, not even when he set her carefully on her feet again. He kept a hand on her hip, kept her pinned between himself and the bathroom counter, and snatched the top towel off the stack.

“I—” Her words were lost as the towel descended on her and Zeno set to work rubbing at her skin. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes, trying not to just be a crying mess.

“We’re going to talk about that reaction you just had,” Zeno said, his voice quiet and rough. “But I’ll explain myself first.”

“Y-you don’t … have to,” Harmony said, her voice chokedas she pushed the words out through her constricted throat. The last thing she wanted was to hear him articulate the things she’d already concluded.

Zeno exhaled heavily, the air heating around them. He slid the towel between her legs with swift, tender efficiency, then dropped it and reached for the other. With the other he wrapped up her hair and squeezed, then caught her chin and encouraged her to meet his gaze. “I didn’t claim you because you hadn’t asked me to.”

Harmony sucked in awkward breaths, trying to figure out his words. Trying to figure out where they fit in with what had happened. “So itismy fault.”

He arched a brow. “There’s no shame in needing time, Harmony.” His fingers trailed along her jaw until his hand was curled loosely around her neck.

“Time.” She sniffled, not even feeling awkward about it, and finally found the strength to at least raise her arms and cover her breasts. “Time for what? Do you want me to take the time to make myself prettier? Lose weight, learn about makeup, until I’ve fixed the ugly parts? I’ll always be short. Time won’t change that.”

Zeno growled and hauled her up again. He carried her from the bathroom, dropped her back onto the bed, and laid himself over her body. He dragged her arms up, holding them above her head by the wrists. His chest pressed into hers. “I told you I would never lie to you. You are the most beautiful, tempting woman I have ever laid eyes on. I will worship your body for every day of my life if you give me the chance.Ifyou change yourself, you do so only because it is a change you personally and strongly desire. In which case, you will always have my support. In every decision you make—every decision that does not involve self-harm—you will have my support. Even if it hurtsme.”

Her heart slammed against her ribs. She wanted to believe him.

Why was he saying these things now? He’d had such a perfect opportunity to let her disappear from his life. She was so confused.

And she still couldn’t breathe properly. She gasped—for breath as much as from the impact of Zeno’s words. “I thought … I thought you were saying … you didn’t want me.”

Pain and sadness flashed across Zeno’s face and he adjusted his weight, releasing her wrists in favor of leaning down and pressing his forehead to hers. The position rested his pelvis more heavily onto her, making her keenly aware of his straining erection. “Little Dove,” he said, a yearning slipping into his voice that hadn’t been there previously, “I want you more powerfully than I have ever desired anyone or anything in all my life.”

Taking advantage of having been released, Harmony reached down and found his skin with her hands. She threaded her fingers in his hair. Part of her felt as though she should have been pushing him away, but all she could do was hold him closer, to the best of her ability. “You said—” She hated the way her voice and her breathing was messed up with her congestion. But she ignored it. “You said ‘of course not.’”

Zeno’s brow pinched, for a split-second, before he sighed again. He angled his head to press a kiss to her cheek. “I would never claim you without your explicit consent, Harmony. You hadn’t given that. So,of courseI didn’t. That’s all I meant.”

This time she did try to push him away, tugging at his hair and only succeeding in prompting him to push up to his elbows. He still hovered over her, covering her in his body heat and reminding her that he was as naked as she was. “I asked you to take me.”

“You asked me to be your first,” he said, speaking calmly. “You never said a word about tying your soul to mine. You neversaid you had decided to see out the next millennium at my side. You asked for sex.”

She opened her mouth to argue his words, to insist she had meant it another way, but his unflinching, patient stare held her retort at bay. She knew she’d expected him to claim her. And she knew, when she replayed the moments leading up to their return to the penthouse in her mind, that even as she’d asked him to make love to her she hadn’t been sure what she was asking for. She wanted him, without question. She wanted to know his touch and his kiss. She had been absolutely sure she wouldn’t regret letting him be her first.

She didn’t think she had given any real thought to soul bonding or living for as many as another thousand years. That probably meant she hadn’t said the words.

Harmony licked her lips. “So if I don’t say it clearly, then you won’t … ever?”

Zeno’s jaw tensed for a moment, but he leaned in, bowed his head, and brushed his nose up the length of her throat. She felt his chest rise on a deep inhale. Then he pushed himself up again enough to meet her gaze. “Not without your sober and explicit consent. Ever.”

She stared at him, trying to get her brain to work right. Trying to understand what he’d just done and why it had made her skin tingle with delight. But it was hard to think about anything when she couldn’t breathe, so finally she pushed at his shoulders. “I can’t breathe,” she gasped.

Zeno rolled off her immediately, pulling her up to a sitting position and sweeping her hair from her face. “I’ll be right back.” He disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a small box of tissues, and detoured to the garbage bucket before bringing both up to the side of the bed. He held out the tissues. “Here. I can make you some peppermint tea if that would help.”

Embarrassed, Harmony held a tissue up to her nose andducked her gaze. “I think I just need a moment. Could you maybe pretend not to watch?” Blowing her nose in front of the man who’d just taken her virginity was humiliating. It was ten times worse on the heels of making an ass of herself, and she was rapidly realizing that was exactly what she’d done.

All because she had been too lost in her own tangled emotions to make a decision.

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