Page 54 of Flirting with the Scrooge

I don’t know how long I watch her, but eventually she gets in a vehicle and leaves. I flop onto my couch. I hate this for her. I hate it so much. Not only are most of her decorations gone, but now she won’t be able to participate in the contest and I know how much that means to her.

I jump to my feet. I know she hates me right now, but this is no longer about me. She deserves the best holiday possible and I’m going to do my best to do that for her. My feet carry me down the hallway, and to the door that leads to the basement. There’s one corner I haven’t touched yet, so I hope there’s something there. I pull the cord and a lightbulb flickers to life. Walking around the large open room, I continue to flip on all the lights. In a far back corner, I spot boxes upon boxes labeledXmas. Bingo.

I step over other boxes and totes until I reach the corner. I peel back the cardboard flaps, searching for what I’m looking for. With each box I find, I set it off to the side and continue digging for more. Several hours later, I have stacks of boxes I know will be useful for what I need. One by one I carry the boxes upstairs and plan out my execution.

TWENTY-SEVEN

TWO ORGASM LIMIT

Tatum

After the fire, I was a complete mess. Olivia brought me back to her house because she didn’t want me to be alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m relieved it was contained to only my yard, but I also lost over three-fourths of my decorations. A charred Santa and six melted reindeer won’t win the decorating contest. I’m waving my white flag. I give up. Chalk this up to the worst Christmas ever. It even trumps the time when I was seven years old and found out that Santa wasn’t real.

The following day, Olivia and Ledger drive me back to my house to meet the fire marshal. It was determined the cause of the fire was a faulty electrical cord that was draped across some hay in Jesus’ manger. I swear I doubled checked all my extension cords but apparently one slipped by.

Over the next several hours Olivia and Ledger help me clean up all the charred wood, metal frames, and melted plastic. We toss everything into the back of Ledger’s truck to bring to waste management. Afterward, they drop me off and Olivia tells me to get ready, and she’ll be back in a couple of hours. She proclaims an afternoon full of massages, facials, and mud treatments, followed by mani-pedis is exactly what I need. Plus, it makes for the perfect Christmas present.

I stare at my empty yard, still in disbelief. The acrid smell of scorched plastic still lingers heavily in the air. Holes of melted snow, followed by twisted, ghostly remnants of once vibrant decorations fill in the rest of my front yard. This Christmas will be known as the one that went up in flames, literally, just like my life.

There’s still enough time where I could rebuild my decorations but honestly, I don’t have the motivation. Truth be told, I just want Christmas to be over. My heart clenches as I run a hand over a few of the plastic candy canes. Connor could have hurt himself, but instead, he risked his life to save what he could. For me. My hands fly up to cover my mouth as my heart expands in my chest when I catch sight of a silver wing. I race to the other side of the candy canes and pull out the lighted angel decorations. He saved them. A tear pricks the corner of my eye as I grab them and carry them up to the garage. Connor knew how much the angels meant to me and he saved them. I wipe the moisture from my cheeks.

From across the street, Fuck Xmas Frank glares at me with his one beady eye. Judging me. For everything.

“I know,” I mutter under my breath. Then I finish cleaning up the last few surviving decorations, thanks to Connor, and set them alongside the garage. When I’m feeling up to it, I’ll make sure they still work. But that’s for another day. In the meantime, I need to freshen up before Olivia arrives.

* * *

The air is laced with the soothing aroma of lavender and eucalyptus, while tranquil melodies play in the background. We’re reclined in chairs, cocooned in white fluffy robes with cucumbers over our eyes, as the masseuses massage our feet.

I groan. “This feels nice.” I’m doing my best to relax and not rehash the fire or the decorations, but it’s hard. I continue to remind myself that everything can be replaced and to be grateful it wasn’t the house.

“I totally agree,” Olivia replies. “So…” There’s a brief pause. “Have you talked to Connor yet?”

“And now it’s ruined.” I sigh.

“I’m sorry, but you know you’ll have to face him. At the very least, thank him for catching the fire and saving what he could. He kind of put himself in danger for you.”

“I know. Don’t remind me.” At the top of the list of things I’m trying to not think about, he’s number one. Not only because my feelings are a jumbled mess, but because he could have seriously injured himself. I’d hate to be the reason why the frontman for Onyx Stone can’t play anymore. Sorry everyone, he burned himself while saving my Christmas decorations. Or sorry everyone, he burned to death in my front yard. I swallow the giant lump in my throat on the last one.

Every second since the fire, I thought about what would have happened if he didn’t catch it when he did. He risked his life to save what he could, including my nana’s lighted snow angels. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost those. Growing up, every time we went to my nana’s for Christmas, I would spend hours playing in the yard just so I could admire them. When she passed away, it was the one item I had to have. Now, every year when I put them up, I imagine my nana is one of the angels looking after me.

“I don’t know if I can face him right now. Or I don’t know what to say. Thanks for not letting my house burn to ashes doesn’t seem sufficient. And then there’s the whole what do I do about my feelings for him.” I peel the cucumbers from my eyes and roll my head to face her.

She removes her cucumbers as well and rolls her head to the side to meet my gaze. “You’ll have to sooner or later. And I vote sooner because he’s not going to be around for much longer.”

“That’s another thing I’m afraid of. I don’t know how to tackle that. I was a jerk to him. Called him a liar. How do I tell him that I’ve changed my mind? All of it is too much to deal with.” I roll my head and stare at the ceiling.

“Did the feelings ever leave?”

Ugh! I hate her. Of course they didn’t leave. How could they? “After the fire, I’m just mentally exhausted and don’t want to deal. Maybe it’s best I stick with the out of sight, out of mind idea. Plus, if something happened to him, it would have been my fault.” That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself. Out of sight only means that he occupies every available spot in my mind. It doesn’t matter if it’s 4 a.m. or 4 p.m., he’s always on my mind. Luckily, he didn’t get hurt in the fire, but what if.

“I don’t know why you’re torturing yourself. And stop using the fire as an excuse. No one got hurt except a few melted snowmen and Santa, but they don’t count.” She gives me a soft smile, wanting to lighten the mood, but I can’t even offer her a fake one. “Anyway, I thought you already decided you were going to enjoy whatever time you had together and deal with the rest later.” When I don’t answer, she continues, “Fine, just let him leave, but I guarantee you’ll regret it.”

I roll my head to the side to face her but she puts the cucumbers back on her eyes and faces forward, essentially done with this conversation. Hell, I want to be done with this conversation. I hate putting my feelings on the line only to get dumped, like Adam, or most recently, lied to by Connor.

“I don’t want to get hurt again and that will most definitely happen when he has to leave.”

“Don’t think about it. Just live in the now. You can worry about everything else later.”

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