Page 13 of Flirting with the Scrooge

“If you don’t show up somewhere, people will come looking.”

I rub my temples with one hand. “Fine. I’ll send you some old vacation pictures and you can leak them to the press. Tell everyone I’m vacationing in Cabo or some shit.”

“You need to figure out your shit sooner rather than later. This might buy you a little extra time, but people will get restless.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll worry about that when it happens.”

“Are you at least working on some new music? Get a jump start before you get in the studio.”

“Yeah,” I lie. Music is the last thing on my mind. I’m not feeling it. And if you’re not feeling it, you create shit. But clearly, that’s what he wants to hear. “Speaking of which. I better get back to working on those songs.”

“Wait. That sounds like sarcasm. Connor you better—”

I press end. That’s not how I wanted to start my day. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. Let’s hope that’s where this day goes.

Scratching my beard, I stroll into the living room. The bright sun warms my body as I stand in front of the large picture window. As I stretch an arm, I take a small sip of my hot coffee. When I open my eyes, coffee spews out of my mouth, spraying across the living room window. Nope. This is rock bottom. What the fuck?

In my front yard is a lopsided snowman, with stick arms, a scarf, and a giant pink dick painted on its back. I stomp to the entryway and shove my feet into my boots. I’m opening the door before I can throw my coat over my shoulders. The brisk morning air hits my face, but it barely fazes me since a fire is coursing through my veins as I run down the short sidewalk. My gaze is locked on the snowman but a noise from across the street draws my attention and Tatum steps out of her front door, a big smirk on her face.

The snowman is now forgotten. The sound of my boots slapping against the blacktop echoes through the silent neighborhood as I stomp down the driveway. “What the hell is this!?” A cloud from my warm breath forms in front of me.

She saunters down hers, like she doesn’t have a care in the world. “That’s for stealing my Christmas tree.” She comes to a halt directly in front of me in the middle of the road.

“I didn’t steal your Christmas tree. Go find the ten-year-old girl who staked claim to it and build a snowman with a giant dick painted on the back in her yard!”

She lifts her chin in an attempt to reach my height, but she’s not even close. “If you didn’t distract me, it would have been mine!”

A car slows and honks as they swerve around us. I grab her wrist and tug her to the end of my driveway. “You’re going to take this down!”

She yanks her hand from my grasp and rests it on her waist as she pops her hip. “What? It’s just a snowman.”

“With a giant dick painted on the back!”

Two women, maybe in their thirties, walk by, smiling and snickering to each other.

“What are you looking at? Did you come by to see my dick?” I yell to the passersby.

Tatum huffs. “Oh my god. No one wants to see your penis.”

“Except you. You’re drawing them in my yard. I only have to assume.”

She blushes but doesn’t say anything. Shit. Has she thought about my dick?

“Y-y-you’re so full of it.” She spins, her blonde hair floating around her as she storms away. Halfway across the street she stops and stomps back. “You know what, you’re nothing but a scrooge! A holiday fun sucking scrooge! God forbid other people enjoy the holiday season.”

I just stand there and let her get all her hurt and anger out because I know I deserve it. It was a dick move to steal her tree or let someone else steal it. It’s not my intention to be an asshole to her, but right now I’d rather feel her hatred than a fake nice only to get what they want.

Out of the corner of my eye a car careening around the corner, barreling straight toward us catches my attention. Don’t they realize the roads are icy? Tatum continues to yell at me, but I’m not even paying attention anymore. I’m focused on the car and if they’re going to slow down. Then I stop thinking and react. I grip her wrists and yank her toward me and out of the street. Everything else happens in slow motion. She yelps as the toe of her boot trips over a chuck of ice and she face plants into my chest. The force of her body knocks me off balance, causing my feet to slip from underneath me. She grips my arms so I’m unable to regain my balance and we tumble backward. I smack down on a snowbank, and she falls on top of me. A sharp pain shoots up my spine and I wince.

“Slow down, asshole!” I yell to the road as I flinch. I’m sure they didn’t even hear me.

Her breathing is heavy as she lies on top of me. Several seconds pass before her eyes flutter open. “You saved my life.” Her voice is low and soft.

“I don’t know about that, but I did spare you a few broken bones. Maybe a concussion.” A breeze passes over us, and I get a whiff of her familiar vanilla scent but now it’s mixed with something floral, like lavender. Suddenly the pink dick and the dick in the car are both forgotten. Even in pain, I don’t hate the weight of her on me. Shit. This isn’t supposed to happen. With a mind of their own, my fingers dig into her hips wanting to relish in this moment for a second longer.

She lifts the top half of her body. “That guy almost hit me.”

“Yep.” I pinch my eyes closed, no longer in pain from hitting the snowbank but something else.

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