Page 35 of My Heart To Heal

Holyhell, he’s hot. He was always hot, but now I think I’m seeing him in a different light or something. His hair has the slightest wave to it that I hadn’t paid attention to before my fingers got all up in there, and his dark green button-down shirt fits nicely inallthe right places.

I watch as he hands off a bottle of wine to Cara, leaning in to kiss her cheek and smiling as he shakes Doug’s hand and is pulled into a hug. Then he turns toward the living room, and his eyes meet mine. His lips curve slightly, and time slows down as his gaze lowers, and he unashamedly eats me up. I mean, I can’t blame him. I am a whole meal in this dress, but goddam, I have to fight to keep my knees from buckling under the weight of his stare.

Nick starts to step toward me, and I swallow hard as I compose myself. He’s so hot he’s making me sweat, and I want it. I wanthim, on top of me, underneath me, behind me, any fuckin’ way he wants to give it, I’ll take it. When his hungry stare meets mine, I swallow hard.

How did I ever think I was going to hold control with him? He hasn’t said a word yet, and I’m a fucking puddle.

‘Hey everyone.’ He smiles as he steps close and greets all the friends he’s known forever. ‘Missy.’ I hold his gaze for a moment, long enoughto see the lift at the corner of his mouth.

‘Hey, Merry Christmas.’ I avert my gaze and sip my wine, suddenly very thirsty.

‘Where are the kids?’ he asks, and Zoe, thankfully, answers.

‘They’re upstairs checking out Bo’s new toys.’

Nick smiles in the direction of the stairs, then returns his attention to me.

‘I got them a little something.’

He holds up the matching gift bags in his hands.

‘You didn’t have to.’

‘I know.’ He smiles. ‘It’s not much.’

The thundering footsteps of two excited five-year-olds, who must sense gifts, has us all turning to the stairs in time to see Bowie and Jonah running toward us. Jonah’s already bright smile widens at the sight of Nick, and he wraps himself around his legs. Nick laughs and ruffles my boy’s beautiful hair.Oh, lord…

‘Hey, buddy.’ Jonah releases Nick and gazes up at him. ‘Hey, Bo.’ Both kids say hello, and Nick lowers to their level. ‘So, did Santa find your new address?’ he asks Jonah, who grins and nods.

‘Yep, he did.’

‘Ah, that’s good. What about you, Bowie? Did he remember you were here at Cara’s?’

Bowie smiles as wide as Jonah. ‘Yep, he’s so smart.’

Nick laughs, andGod,it sounds good.

‘Did he bring you stuff, too?’ Jonah asks, and Nick shakes his head.

‘Well, he only really brings presents to children, so no, I didn’t get anything, but that’s okay. I’m just glad he made it to you two.’

‘I got a science kit,’ Bowie declares proudly. ‘I can do experiments and stuff.’

‘You know science is my favorite thing, right?’ he asks enthusiastically, and I can’t believe the man I thought was a total asshole is so goddamn great with kids.

‘You want to see it?’

‘I do, but first, I got you both something.’

He hands them the bags, and they both drop to sit on the floor as Nick stands, and they dive in.

‘Wow.’ Bowie squeals, ‘Daddy, Daddy, look.’

Doug enters the room as Bowie holds up a walkie-talkie just as Jonah pulls out the same thing, followed by a couple of books on wildlife and nature.

‘I figured they might like to talk to each other when they’re apart and when they’re out exploring.’

‘Oh, baby, that’s so cool.’ Doug pats Nick’s shoulder as he passes him and drops down next to Bowie.

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