Page 54 of My Heart To Heal

‘No, I’m not fuckin’ okay, Missy. It’s humiliating.’

‘What?’ I breathe the word, surprised, and bring my hands down to his, then pull him toward my office, out of view of the passing public.

‘I need to leave, Miss.’

‘No, you need to sit.’

Nick huffs out an exhale and drops into my chair, and I drop to my knees in front of him, bringing my palm to his cheek.

‘The only person who should be embarrassed right now is your father.’

‘He’s not the one who needed you to fight his battles.’

I sit back, my brows knitting together.

‘I wasn’t fighting your battles, and the only reason I felt strong enough to say anything is because I knew you had me.’

‘I’m not a little boy anymore.’ The way he says the words as if he’s saying them to himself, not me, breaks my heart.

‘I meant what I said. I think you’re wonderful, Nick.’

He raises his gaze to meet mine, and I see the pain in his expression. This beautiful, strong, tall, muscular man hasbeen reduced to a scared kid just by his father's presence.

I could tell him. Ishouldtell him that I know how the back of a fist against my skin feels, that I know the squeeze of a hand around my throat and the brutal sting of abuse firsthand, but I don’t. Instead, I stand and lean back against my desk.

‘What do you need?’

He shakes his head, and I reach under my dress, pulling down my underwear and stepping out of them. I see his eyes widen at the surprise of lace when he’s so used to me in boxers, but he doesn’t say anything.

‘Take back control, Nick. Show me — take what you need.’

‘Missy…’ There’s hesitation in his voice, so I start to pull up my dress. I need him to know that I still see him the same way. I still see the gorgeous man I always did. I need him to feel that.

His hands come up to grip my wrists and he stands, then closes the office door and turns the lock. I glance up at the clock. We have about fifteen minutes until Kacey and Emma are back.

‘Turn around.’ His deep, commanding tone thrills me, and I do as he says. ‘Hands on the desk.’

As I follow his instructions, he raises up my skirt and brings his fingers to my pussy. I shudder at thecontact as he starts to stroke me, grazing my clit with not enough pressure and too quick passes that I know are on purpose.

He slowly circles my entrance, then pushes a thick finger in, making my head loll forward and a loud exhale escape my lips. He pulls out his finger and pushes it back in a couple of times before he pushes two in, stretching me and forcing a sigh from my mouth.

His wallet hits the desk, and he opens it one-handed, pulling out a condom, and I hear the rip of the packet as he uses his teeth to open it while he pumps his fingers in and out of me slowly. His fingers leave my body, and I glance back to see him rolling on the condom, his scrub pants pulled down just enough for him to pull his dick out, and I bite my lip in anticipation. I was prepared to stay away, to stop this thing between us, but there’s not a part of this man I don’t want, not a part of him that doesn’t turn me all the way on.

‘I can’t be gentle right now,’ he warns as he lines up the head of his dick and pushes in just a little.

‘Take what you need,’ I repeat as I brace my hands on the desk, and Nick’s hands grip my hips as he pushes in, pulling me back and giving me just a moment to adjust to the stretch before he pulls out and slams back in.

A cry escapes me, and my elbows buckle, but he doesn’t stop. His fingers grip my hips harder as he pulls me back to meet his relentless thrusts.

‘Fuck, Missy,’ he hisses, and I clench in response to his tone. ‘Touch your clit while I fuck you,’ he commands, and I lower my chest, leaning down on one bent arm while I reach my other hand down between my legs. ‘I need you to come. I need to feel it.’

Well, okay then.

The second my fingers make contact with my clit, with him driving deep into me, my eyes close, and pleasure erupts through me.

‘God, Nick.’ I pant, and he pushes me against the desk harder. I’m going to bruise. I know it, but I don’t care. These aren't the same bruises I'm used to, these won't mean what they always did. I just need him to feel in control — that’s all I care about right now.

‘Come, Missy. Need you to come.’

---