Page 19 of My Heart To Heal

She laughs. ‘You’re being such a little bitch, you know that?’ She steps toward me, shaking her head.

‘What did you say to me?’ I step toward her, shocked.

‘Oh, you can hear my music from two floors up, but you can’t hear me calling you a bitch from three feet away?’

‘Keep the fucking noise down, Missy.’ I point my finger, and she steps closer again.

‘Or what?’ She tips her head back a little to smirk up at me.

‘Jesus, you’re so fucking infuriating.’

‘Yeah, believe me, I know how that feels.’ She reaches out to pick up her phone and lowers the volume of her music. ‘There you go, sweetie.’ Turning, I stomp away, hearing her slam her cell down on the countertop with a growl. ‘Asshole!’ The hiss under herbreath is enough to make me pause, but instead of turning back, I walk away.

‘You have got tobe fuckin’ kidding me.’

I cuss out loud as I drive down Main Street to see my usual spot taken by a familiar car for the third time this week. It’s not like it’s my spot, but I’ve been parking there pretty consistently since I moved into the apartment.

I drive a bit further down the road and am frustrated when I park then see Missy and Jonah walking toward me with grocery bags in her hands.

‘Hey, Nick.’ She smiles sarcastically as I get out of my car right in front of them. ‘Jonah, say hi.’

‘Hi, Nick.’

Even though his mom has me in a bad mood, I smile at the kid. I can’t help it — he’s pretty cute. Today he has on a sweater with a pug in a tutu and tiara. I’ve noticed over the past few interactions we’ve had that he seems to have a thing for animals and all things sparkly.

‘Hey, Jonah. I love yoursweater.’

He looks down at his torso and then smiles back up at me.

‘Thanks, it’s a pug.’

I grin, and Missy laughs lightly, with a slightly husky tone to it. Man, that sounds nice.

‘Nick is a vet, baby, remember? He knows all about dogs and all sorts of animals.’ Why does her talking about me like that make my heart beat a little faster?

‘I do, but I never saw a pug dressed that fancy before.’ Jonah giggles, and I reach out to ruffle his hair. ‘Let me take those.’ I shove my cell phone and keys into the pocket on the front of my hoodie, then reach out for the bags in both of their hands, and Missy stares at me, curious for a second, before she nods in gratitude. It would have been pretty rude not to offer since we’re all heading in the same direction, even if we did fightagainlast night.

She opens the door, and we head upstairs. When we get to her front door, she opens it, I bring the bags inside.

‘Wow, this place looks incredible,’ I admit, finally seeing all the work she had done. It’s great. The run-down, empty apartment I have known my whole life is now sleek and warm.

‘Thank you, I love it.’ She smiles shyly. ‘Can I get you a coffee, water, anything?’

‘Nah.’ I ignorethe olive branch and back out of the door, holding her eye contact. I think she wants to say more. Instead, her bottom lip catches between her teeth, and I thumb over my shoulder before I embarrass myself because I like that a little too much. ‘I have stuff to get to.’

‘Bye, Nick,’ Jonah calls out, and I wave.

‘Bye, little man.’

Inside my apartment, I pull off my hoodie and kick off my sneakers, then brace my hands on the countertop. When I got back up to my apartment last night I paced, annoyed, until I could calm down. I switched between wanting to go back down there and kiss the hell out of her and wanting to go down and keep fighting.

By the time I heard her door slam shut half an hour later, I felt like the world’s biggest fucking prick, and the overthinking meant I couldn’t sleep.

I woke up early and exhausted, and for the first time in forever, I didn’t go for a run.

My day off continued to suck from then. I went to see my mom, but my dad ended up being there unexpectedly, so I left and drove out to the huge grocery store that had just opened about a half hour from town. I filled my cart and was ready to pay when I realized I’d left my wallet at home, so now I’m back: empty hands and an empty fridge. My moodbrightened a little with my interaction with Jonah, but I’m still a grumpy fuck.

I’m just going to take a shower and see what I can scrape together to eat, then go to bed and hope tomorrow is the day I quit being a dick.

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