Page 102 of Legal

The sight of him was a knife to the gut. I missed him so fucking much. And seeing Cassie come over and sit down next to him just about finished me off. She touched his arm for a brief second, but it was one second too long. I wanted to rip off her hand and beat her with it.

“Jillian! You came!” The sound of Hazel’s voice was exactly what I needed to get myself centered. She ran up to me and grabbed my hand. Whatever I had to deal with tonight, it was worth it. There’d be plenty of time afterward to cry over it.

“Hi, sweetie.” I gave her a big smile. “I can’t wait to see you up on that stage.”

“Do you want to sit with me?”

“I’d love to.” I sighed in relief when she brought me over to a smaller table a safe distance from Chase’s. If I had to watch Cassie touch him again, I didn’t know what I’d do. I took a quick glance over there anyway, chastising myself for being a damn masochist. What, did I get off on the pain and humiliation? She was keeping her mitts off for the time being, but I didn’t want her sharing his space. Period.

“You can sit with Mr. N if you want.”

I shook my head. “Oh, no. I’m sitting right here with you.”

“You don’t want him to be your boyfriend again?”

I smiled. What was it like to be so innocent? I couldn’t remember. “I’m not a teacher, and Mr. Nolan is sitting at the teacher’s table.”

She nodded, accepting my answer. No doubt it was a better one than ‘It’s complicated.’ A couple of Hazel’s little friends sat down, and my eyes wandered back over to Chase. There were a few more people at the table, which made me hopeful that my teacher comment had some validity. Yeah, maybe that was it. Cassie was only there because she worked with him.

My throat tightened. This was the wrong thing to think about. If I was so worried about her sitting at a stupid table with him, what about the other dozens of hours she was around him?

“I thought that was you.”

I swiveled my head around and smiled at Hazel’s grandmother. “Hi, Linda. So nice to see you again.”

She took a place at the table. “I was just over there talking to a few people when I happened to see you. Hazel said you might come. I’m really glad you did.”

“Me too.” I made sure Hazel was occupied with her friends. “How is she doing?” I asked quietly.

“Oh, very well. No more setbacks since the day you were there.” A light feeling descended over me. I was overjoyed to hear that. Linda touched my hand. “Thank you again for being there, by the way. It means so much to have extra support.”

“You’re welcome. She’s a special little girl.”

I didn’t know if it was intentional or just a coincidence, but she did not comment or question about Chase. I was so grateful. It would have been a little trickier explaining things to a grown woman.

Hazel scooted over by us and said, “Grandma might do an act with me too.”

“Really?” I looked at Linda, and she shrugged.

“Irish dancing. But only if her knees don’t hurt too bad.”

“I used to take lessons,” I said, “but a long time ago.” God, when was that? First grade?

The lights dimmed, and everyone standing scrambled for their seats. Chase hadn’t come over to talk to me, and I couldn’t deny how that made me feel. But I assumed he’d figured out by now that I was there because Hazel invited me. There really was no reason for him to come over and find out for himself. That was fine; there was a time and place for everything.

Oh, fuck. He was going up on the stage, and that stage wasn’t too far from my table. I rubbed my sweaty palms over my thighs and swallowed about fifty times before he even began to speak. Thank God the lights were low because I couldn’t imagine what I looked like. But Chase… he was under the spotlight front and center, full-on display, and my memory was serving me well. If only he’d been a complete asshole, then maybe I wouldn’t have had those urges to run up there and tear off his clothes with my teeth.

I followed his mouth as he thanked everyone for attending and as he discussed the role of the arts in education. What he spoke was important, and I already knew I agreed with him based on prior conversations we’d shared. I just couldn’t focus on his every word at the moment, not while he was so close to me. If my proximity was equally affecting him, he didn’t show it. Not that I wanted him to fluster and mess up; I just wanted to detectsomething.

After he had finished, a lady took his place, and I learned that there’d be twenty acts, separated by a short intermission and refreshments. Each act brought in a new donation, so as far as I could tell, the more, the better.

When Hazel had asked me to see the show, I’d no idea what to expect, but the first hour flew by. It was lovely. All amateur talent, but some of it quite good. Kids of all ages singing, doing magic, performing skits. There was a mother-daughter tap dancing act and a father-son electric guitar performance of “Smoke on the Water.” I had the feeling that no auditions were necessary; whoever wanted to be a star for the night could have their chance.

When the lights switched back on, there was another mad rush to get to the snack table. Hazel went up with her grandmother, but I stayed put. My stomach was too twisted to put anything in it anyway. I was glad I came but come on… Chase was in the same room as me, and I wasn’t in his arms? It hurt.

I didn’t notice her until she was right next to me.Sneaky bitch. “Cassie.”

“Hello,” she said, her smile as fake as her nails. Her chair was pulled close to mine, and something was making me nauseated. Perfume, hairspray? No, probably just her. “I’m not sure what you’re hoping to accomplish, but it’s obvious Chase is no longer interested. So a little friendly advice? Go find someone your own... size to play with.”

---