Page 100 of Legal

“And I’m in class. I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

He stepped back into the room and softly closed the door, shutting me out. I was rooted to the spot, too shocked to move an inch. All the people and sounds around me were muffled like my head was submerged. Chase hadn’t said, ‘I can’t do this right now.’ He said, ‘I can’t do this.’As in ever.

It didn’t matter if I deserved his treatment or not. I didn’t care if I got exactly what I paid for. It still hurt. It still hurt so fucking badly I wanted to curl up and die.

I somehow managed to put one leg in front of the other and walk away. I didn’t know where I was going, but I’d deal with that when I got there.

I was halfway down the hall when I felt awhooshbehind me, and I turned in time to catch Hazel before she smacked into my legs. “Jillian!”

I bent down and hugged her. “Hi, sweetie. What are you doing? You’re supposed to be in class.”

“Mr. N let me come say hi to you. As long as I was real quick.”

I laughed. “Well, you certainly were quick, Hazel.”

“Are you coming to watch me in the talent show?”

“Talent show?”

“Please, Jillian?” She started hopping up and down. “I’m playing my guitar.”

“When is it?” I waved her to start following me back to the room. I didn’t want her gone too long. School had to be ending any minute, and I didn’t think I could take seeing Chase’s lifeless expression again.

“On Saturday. Here in the gym. Pleeeease?”

“I promise you I’ll try my hardest, okay?”

She nodded, and I gave her a hug good-bye. Just before I stood back up, she whispered, “I miss you. Mr. N does too. He still makes jokes, but I can tell. He’s real sad.”

Hazel slipped from my arms and into the classroom, and I quickly turned away. I didn’t know what to make of it. Any of it. Sad or not, Chase made his feelings clear, and now that I was alone once more with my thoughts, it was killing me all over again.

I left for the door, spotting a stack of flyers by the office advertising the talent show. I grabbed one just as the bell chimed. I got to my car and sped off, willing myself to keep it together. I was on the verge of another crying spell; I could feel it. The tears were bubbling up inside my lids, ready to drop at the slightest provocation.

I pushed them back inside and cranked up the music. I swear tear ducts had a seal just like a bladder. Once broken, you had to worry about liquid gushing out every twenty minutes. And it wasn’t like I’d never cried before—I had, a lot. Just not like this. Not these raw, emotional sobs that ripped your heart to shreds.

Had Chase felt like this when I stomped all over him? Even if it was only a fraction, I wanted to strangle myself for doing that to him. I sucked. Big time.

By the time I made it to my driveway, I only had slightly damp cheeks. Not bad, considering. Stephen’s truck was parked there; he was the last person I expected to see waiting for me. Well, second to last. I pulled into the garage and checked my eyes in the rearview mirror before getting out.

Both Perry and my brother were hopping out as well. I tried to remember if I’d made plans with them, but she knew I was attempting to work it out with Chase today. The lead ball in my stomach bounced hard, knocking me off-center. Things were so much better when it was still attempting and hopeful, instead of attempted and failed.

“Perfect timing!” Perry said. “We were just on our way to…” She stopped and dashed over. “Jills?” She peered into my eyes. “Oh, no. Chase?” I bit my bottom lip and nodded. “You already saw him?” I nodded again, looking at Stephen. He’d been playing the strong and silent role toward me lately. “But you said you were going to call and invite him over tonight. What happened?”

“I changed my mind and went up to the school instead. I wanted my first words to him to be to his face. That didn’t work out so well,” I said softly.

“What did he say?”

“That he was sorry, but he couldn’t do this.”Ever.

“And how’d he look?”

“Different.”

She sighed, then waved Stephen over. “We need a man’s opinion.”

“He doesn’t need to get involved, Perry.”

Stephen came up and looked me over. “Hey, sis.” There’s no way he didn’t know where Perry was for three days, and he was probably deciding whether or not I was still operating in basketcase mode.

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