Page 69 of Lyrical

“I didn’t make it easy for you.”

“Nothing worth it ever is.”

I listened to his heartbeat, lulling me into a peaceful trance. There was nothing about him that wasn’t strong. Or if there was, I hadn’t discovered it yet.

“Thank you for believing in us.”

If he hadn’t been so sure of our relationship from the very beginning, I wouldn’t be sharing this moment with the love of my life. I wanted to give him everything, yet wasn’t sure if I could.

“I’ll always believe in us.”

I wanted that so badly. A breeze picked up and I shivered. He held me tighter, and I pictured us always being like that. Forever was still a hard concept to grasp, but he’d given me no reason to doubt him. He’d always give me what I needed, but what I doubted was my ability to give him what he needed.

“I need to talk to you about something, Jillian. Since we have some time—”

Oh shit.“Now?”

He laughed. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be now?”

My chest pounded, and I was sure he could feel it against his. He was going to bring up children again; I was sure of it. He’d given it some time to marinate without putting any pressure on me, and now he’d try to find out where I stood. I was scared shitless. Perry said I should be willing to discuss it with him, and she was absolutely right. He deserved at least that from me. Perry….

“We’ve never tried anal sex yet.”

“What?”

I bit down on my bottom lip. Why the hell did I say that? I mean, I was thinking it because of what Perry said, but I’m pretty sure she was joking. But then again, maybe not.

“What, Jillian?” he asked again, a chuckle in his voice.

“You sound a little amused.”

“That’s because I am. Where’d that come from?”

Did I really want this conversation? Yes, more than the other one, I decided. At least at that very moment. And just because Mike turned me off to it didn’t mean Chase couldn’t turn me back on. It could happen. Maybe.

“Well, we’ve been together for a while now and have done so many things together sexually, but not that.” I could probably stretch this out until we had to leave. “Didn’t you ever want to?”

“I always got the feeling you weren’t into that.”

“I wasn’t because I had a bad experience, but now, why not?”

“Why not?” He repeated it slowly, like I was having trouble figuring out my own mind.

God, this was stupid. I glanced downward and saw the bulge in his pants. I slapped his chest. “Chase! You’re hard.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re talking about sex with me.”

“But…analsex.”

“Yes, you mentioned that.”

I had no clue how he could be both amused and aroused at the same time.

“So, thisissomething you want. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten an erection in the first five seconds of talking about it.”

“Aren’t you the one who brought it up? I thought you wanted it.”

“I don’t know. I’m confused.”

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