Page 63 of Lyrical

“It means that he brings up something pretty life-altering, and you won’t eventalkabout it? That couldn’t have felt good to him.”

I opened my mouth, and a sickening feeling crawled into my gut. I was so floored by what he suggested that I hadn’t wanted to think about it, much less have a real conversation. The topic of kids had left my mind many years ago and had never crept back in. I was almost forty, for God’s sake. My only son was already an adult. I’d always wanted to experience pregnancy and the whole infant stage, which I’d missed with Daniel, but starting all over…at this period in my life?

I couldn’t even imagine. Didn’t know if I could handle it. And now I was nauseous wondering if I’d hurt Chase over it. I’d been so selfish, never once thinking about him wanting kids someday. He was young enough for a whole gaggle of them. I would never hold him back from that. Maybe forever would end even sooner than I thought.

Perry touched my arm. “You look like you’re going to cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit about it. I know you didn’t do anything intentionally. You love each other so much. It’ll all work out, okay?”

Yes, I had to believe that. I wasn’t ready to let go yet. The rest of our weekend together had still been wonderful. He made me fajitas as he’d promised, we spent much of the time naked after he’d picked up some condoms, we laughed and talked and I felt close to him just like I always did. I wondered now if I’d missed something subtle, and if it had affected him more than I realized.

“And next time he brings up something you don’t want to talk about, just mention anal.”

I laughed. “What?”

“Nothing says redirect the conversation with no hard feelings than butt sex.”

She winked, and I started laughing harder. It felt really good. She reached over and gave me a hug, then whispered, “It’ll all work out. I promise.” I nodded. “The rain has eased up a bit. Maybe we should make a run for it.”

That was a good idea. The guys were already packing up their stuff, and we had to go sometime. Watching them outside made me miss Chase all the more. He was at school and couldn’t make it this afternoon, and I just really wanted him there all of a sudden.

We took off for the front gates, me holding tight onto my hat so it didn’t blow off. I yanked Perry away at the last second before she crashed into the Hank Aaron statue, but otherwise, we made it without tripping into a puddle. Ugh, it was nasty out. Some years were sunny and beautiful, but others were just like this. At least it’d be ideal inside.

Our tickets were scanned, and we stepped into the crowd. Stephen tapped Perry on the arm and pointed to the gift shop. “Go,” she said. “We’ll wait here.” She brushed a drop of water from her cheek. “He wanted to pick up a new hat before the game.”

“That’s not a bad idea. Maybe I should get another shirt. This one is pretty wet.”

“All right, let’s check it out. We still have some time.”

Perry went off to find Stephen, and I was eyeing up a cute yellow tee with the ball and glove logo that I was seriously considering buying when I noticed Daniel out of the corner of my eye. I set it back on the rack and went over to say hi, making it as far as the jerseys before I spotted a shock of blonde.Fabulous.

“Mom?”

I shifted back to him. “Hi, Daniel.”

“Oh, hello, Mrs.—I mean, Jillian. Nice to see you.” Big, big smile. She wrapped her hands around Daniel’s arm. “You don’t look so good. I don’t mean that in a bad way, of course. Just a little disheveled. I’d hate to think something’s wrong.”

“I’m just wet, Cassie. I’ll dry. We only walked in ten minutes ago.”

“Oh, good.” She gazed at Daniel. “I do hope the rain stops before the game. I wouldn’t want it called off.”

He smiled. “It doesn’t matter. They closed the roof.”

“Yes, that’s right.” She giggled. “I forgot. Silly me. I don’t know a thing about baseball.”

Whatever. “Don’t you have classes?” I asked her.

“Just in the morning today. Lucky me.”

I glanced around, wondering when Perry would spring up. “Wait, Daniel… I thought you were coming here with your dad?”

“Yeah, Dad’s here too. Candace wanted to get to their seats early.”

Another surprise. “She has to make sure she takes care of herself,” Cassie said. “Especially….” She sucked in her lip.

“I know Candace is pregnant,” I said. Mike finally told Daniel a week back, and I guess news traveled fast.

Cassie clenched her hand to her chest. “Whew. I’m so glad I didn’t mess up there.”

“How is she doing?” I asked Daniel.

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