Page 62 of Volatile

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THE CALL CAME NEARmidnight. Jon was surrounded in darkness, hadn’t left his office since Ivy walked out. Thankfully, he hadn’t scheduled any more appointments for the day or else he would’ve canceled them.

The screen lit up with her name, and a flicker of hope returned. It was coming upon a new day. Maybe this one wouldn’t drop kick him in the balls.

He tabbed accept, wishing she were in front of him instead of fuck knows where talking into a phone.

“Ivy.”

“I can’t stop thinking about this, Jonathan. Please tell me you lied.”

“Lied?”

“About the dominant stuff. Please tell me you just said that to help Lily, as a way to convince me she’s in good hands.”

Her voice was soft, almost pleading. How easy it would be to say what she wanted to hear. Then she could come back where she belonged—in his arms.

“You’re right about Lily. I did tell you in order to help her. I’ll do everything in my power to ensure this turns out well for her, but I won’t lie to do it. What I told you is the truth.”

“This is not happening... No. Not after the... feelings I had for you.”

“Had?” His gut twisted.

“It’s so, so messed up.”

“I’m still the same man, Ivy.”

“That’s not how it feels to me.”

“You’d rather I’d lied to you?”

“Considering the alternative? Yes.”

He dug his fingers into his forehead. Did she really mean that? Maybe he’d made a grave mistake waiting to tell her, but if he would’ve right away, it would have definitely been over before it started. During the session hadn’t been the right time either, but something needed to be done to stop the blame game.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Ivy, to make things better. I won’t do that.”

“You have a problem with lying, but you’re okay with being the type of man who strangles a woman? Who gets off on her life slipping away in your hands?”

Jesus. “Fuck, Ivy. We’re not serial killers.”

“Then let me ask this a different way—do you enjoy beating on women? You’ve been a little rough with me; were you just holding back until the right moment to really let loose?”

It worried him more that she was so calm while she spoke. It made him feel like her words were coming less from anger and more from her true feelings. He’d hurt her; no doubt about that, but she must really think of him as a sick bastard to say this shit.

“If I recall, that ‘little rough’ sex was something you highly enjoyed. You’re more frightened of your own lust than anything I could ever do to you.”

“That’s not the point.”

Yes, it was the fucking point. She fucking loved everything he’d done to her, she probably came more with him than in her fucking lifetime, and yet she was making him out to be a monster?

“Were you abused as a child? Is that why you’re like this?” she asked.

He shook his head. What the fuck, Ivy? “No, I was not abused. Believe it or not, I had a nurturing, loving childhood. I was not neglected by my mother or made to prance around in women’s underwear or whatever the hell else you’re going to say next. Once again, you seem to be confusing me with a fucking serial killer.”

“But....”

“And I was never waiting for the chance to hurt you. You are precious to me. Don’t you understand that, Ivy? I want to protect you, not destroy you.”

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