Page 38 of Volatile

If only he could take his own fucking advice.

Ivy stared down at his hand still gripped around her chair. “What are you doing?”

“Tell me why you’re so adamantly against Lily having an interest in a submissive lifestyle.”

“Bingo.”

He squeezed the bridge of his nose. “What?”

“You said the key word—submissive.”

Jon wondered if anything they’d discussed previously had slipped through, even a smidgen. She equated submission with abuse and weakness, and she wasn’t letting that mindset go. There had to be more to it. People weren’t usually so obstinate for no reason.

“Ivy, I can respect that submission doesn’t resonate with you personally, but can’t you also have that same respect for those it does?”

“No.”

Her arms were clenched so tightly against her chest she’d bruise her ribs. He wanted to unfold them, wanted to show her every damn thing she was so opposed to until she screamed out his name.

“A little advice? I suggest you find that respect or risk losing your sister. She isn’t wired like you, and that’s okay. Deal with it.”

She huffed, glaring at him. “You’re supposed to be helping me. You promised.”

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m trying to have an intelligent conversation with you, and all I’m asking is that you have an open mind. It’d be a good idea for you to learn more about this subject before taking such a hard stance. I have knowledge in this area, and I’m here. So use me. Ask me whatever you want, and let’s have a rational discussion.”

“About an irrational topic? I don’t care how many sickos you’ve counseled before or if your ethical codes require you to think everyone is”—she did air quotes—“‘normal.’ I don’t have those same restrictions. It’s not normal, it’s perverted, and it’s wrong. Period.”

“Ivy—”

“And I don’t need to learn anything. I already know what I need to know. If anything, I need to unlearn it. How the fuck can you condone this? How—”

She cut herself off, dropping her head down. When she lifted it, her expression was softer. Being with her was like spending time in the path of a fucking tornado. One minute it was benignly fierce, the next it was ripping your head to shreds. There was no predictability, no sense of control. She was volatile, and it drove him fucking nuts.

“I’m sorry, Jon. I don’t mean to act like this.” Her voice was much quieter, and her hands were currently huddled in her lap. “I shouldn’t be blurting things out like that.”

“You’re always entitled to your opinions. But it’s the way you express them. You need to settle down, Ivy.”

“I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to accept any of this. I care about her too much to see her get mixed up in something so... demeaning and harmful. And the thought of her getting passed around like a toy for anyone to use? It makes me sick. It makes me want to lock her up.” Her eyes misted over, and she looked beat down. “I don’t care if she hates me for it, as long as I can keep her safe.”

She looked so freaking vulnerable, and every part of him was screaming to reach out and comfort her. He could relate to that need to protect at any cost. Jon got out of his chair, went over to the outdoor chest, and pulled out a blanket.

Ivy’s eyes were on him as he spread it over the ground, but she didn’t say anything. When he walked back over to her and took her hand, he didn’t know if he’d get a smile or a slap. He got neither. “Come with me.”

She hesitated before nodding, expression blank. He had to admit; he wasn’t much better. He didn’t plan any of this, but her defenses were down, and that stirred something in him. He just wanted to fucking hold her.

Jon sat on the blanket, pulling her onto his lap. She didn’t fight him, but she didn’t welcome him either. “You need this right now, Ivy. Let me hold you.” He wrapped his arms around her while her body shook. “Now, why did you make that comment about Lily getting passed around?”

“Because that’s what happens in BDSM.”

Her words came out with confidence, but her chin trembled. He wanted to bring her even closer, make it all okay.

“You don’t need to worry about something happening to Lily against her will. Sharing can be a part of it, but it would have to be agreed upon first.”

And in his personal world? Never. He’d never fucking share the one he loved.

She shook her head. “That’s not true. I know more than you think I do.”

“If that’s what you believe, then you’re not thinking of a healthy BDSM relationship, and that’s what Lily’s interested in. I couldn’t in good conscience say that if I didn’t believe it. Lily wants the same things as everyone else: love and honesty and respect.”

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