Page 25 of If Everything Was Easy

“Have fun.” I laughed as I shuffled into the living room. I plopped down on the couch and finished my water. I needed to stretch a little more before I headed to the shower.

As I sat there letting my mind wander, I couldn’t help but focus on the lopsided blue bowl that now adorned my coffee table. It made me smile every time I looked at it. It also made me remember the night Carter and I made it. We’d been out several times since, but nothing was as memorable. I still haven’t gotten to plan a date yet, but I’m thinking that if tomorrow goes well, I’ll pick something to celebrate.

The day has crept by, and when I got home from class I could hardly sit still. I tossed my backpack on the couch, and grabbed an apple off the counter. I needed to find some place to go where I could just let my mind wander freely and not have to concentrate on anything in particular. Class today was anightmare. I couldn’t concentrate, and I know the closer it gets to my appointment tomorrow, the worse it will get.

Ashley wasn’t home yet, so I sent her text that I was heading to the beach and would see her later. I grabbed a jacket in case it got cold, stuffed my keys in my pocket, and rushed out the door. We were only a few blocks away, and I needed the waves and the breeze to calm me. According to my dad, it was one of the few places that would always get me to stop crying as a baby. When he’d have one of those days when he didn’t think he could do it, he’d take me down to the beach and just sit. Something about the calming sounds of the waves hitting the sand always put me at ease no matter how turbulent things were in my head. I’d continued to do this, and sometimes I felt like it was the only place other than the soccer field where my mom could hear me.

As I walked along, I nibbled on my apple, not really watching where I was going. I crossed over the dunes, and found a spot where the sand was dry. I plopped down and stretched my legs in front of me. The beach was fairly empty. It wasn’t tourist season yet, and still a little chilly for swimming. Every once in a while a diehard surfer might appear, but other than that it was a quiet spot.

“Tomorrow’s the day,” I murmured as I stared out at the water. “I hope you see how hard I’m working at this. Dad says you’re always there, but I still don’t understand why you let this happen. Aren’t you supposed to be protecting me from the bad in life? How could getting hurt be something good for me?” I took the last bite of my apple and tossed the core into the dunes.

The sky was a beautiful shade of pink and orange. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I didn’t understand what the purpose was in me getting hurt. I asked my mom and the universe about this all the time, and I didn’t thinkthey’d answered me yet. My dad was big on all that ‘everything happens for a reason’. I’d asked him before if he really thought that. He’d said yes, but I didn’t know how he could be so understanding. The universe took my mom away. He told me once that it was hard to forgive God for that. He said when he really stopped to think about it, he realized that if she were still here, I wouldn’t be. She sacrificed herself for me. The doctor told her that her only chance was to end her pregnancy. She said no, and that was the only reason I was here.

When I was younger, I thought it was pretty twisted, but now that I’m older I realize that he was right. I guess I just didn’t like to think about a her or me choice.

“Why did this happen though? I don’t understand what the purpose was,” I grumbled as I picked at the sand. I guess she was listening and probably rolling her eyes at me. Maybe from up there things seemed simple, but from where I stood, it was so complicated and muddy that I didn’t always get and understand the message right away. Something told me to turn around. I didn’t know what it was… instinct? Chance? A small voice in my head? I turned toward the dunes, and there, climbing over them was Carter. He had jeans on, and had cuffed them up to right below his knees. A long-sleeved athletic shirt clung tight to his arms and chest. His hair was ruffled from the wind. He smiled when he saw me watching.

“Something told me you might need company tonight!” he yelled over the crashing waves. When he reached me, he sat down and bumped his shoulder against mine. “Am I right?”

“Maybe?” I grinned back before turning back to the water. “I came down here to escape the noise in my head.”

“Noise? You ok?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine. Just a lot going on, and then with tomorrow…” I let my voice trail off. I was getting it now. Bit by bit the pieces were coming together.

“Wanna take a walk?” He started to stand.

“I’d like that.” I let him pull me to a standing position. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“I just did. This is your place. Seems like every time something important is going on, you come here. I figured I’d give it a try first.” He reached for my hand, linking our fingers together. “I know you better than you think. I know that you’re doubting that tomorrow will bring good news. You’re all in your head about that, us, and all the other things that you worry too much about. I know that it’ll all be fine, and by tomorrow afternoon, I can scream to the masses that you’re my girl. I can come to your games and wave signs around that I’m your number one fan, and it won’t just be words, it’ll be the truth. I know that you and I have been taking things slow, but there’s a reason I’m doing that. I don’t want to have to think about who might be watching when we’re together. I don’t want to think about anything but you, and how crazy I am about you.”

“Thanks.” I looked up and stared at him. His eyes were twinkling, and his lips were pulled up on one side as he watched me. I knew he meant it, and I also finally understood why it all happened. Carter was meant for me. My mom knew this, and she did the only thing she could to force us to meet. Everything happened for a reason, and I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I didn’t go through the past. Danny was never the plan, it was Carter; I knew that now.

Chapter 17

Ava

It was exactly three and half miles to PT from the doctor’s office. It took me seven minutes to make the drive. There were seventeen steps up to the front of the building. When I parked in my usual spot, it took me two minutes to get to the front door. I’d been obsessing over this visit for a week now, and I felt like I might burst from the anticipation.

Andy’d been glancing over at me every few seconds since I got here. I’d been trying not to make eye contact, but every once in a while I did. He smiled and gave me a wave once, but Carter hadn’t come out to call me back. Andy even offered up an explanation of Carter being overbooked.

My knee wouldn’t stop bouncing as I tapped my foot on the carpet. I’d tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths, and closing my eyes. It wasn’t working, and I felt like I needed to scream to release the tension. It was killing me. I thought sitting at the doctor’s office was bad, but this was so much worse.

“Ava?” Carter’s head poked out of an office door. “You can come on back.” He motioned me over as I stood. I swallowed and took a few tentative steps. This was it. The next few seconds would define the rest of my life.

I nodded as I moved toward the exam room. He let me go first, and then leaned against the table as I sat in the chair in the corner. He was holding a file in his hand and nodding as he read it.

“Well?” I finally broke the silence. “What does it say?”

His face sobered when he looked up at me and I knew it wasn’t good. Something wasn’t right, and soccer was over. “The doctor has your latest scans, and he’s written up the next course of treatment.” He shook his head. I’d never seen his expression so blank. I couldn’t read between the lines here and I didn’t know if I should be angry or sad.

“Just spit it out!” I stood and stomped my foot. “I can’t take this. Just rip the Band-Aid off. Am I done?” I moved closer. I wanted to grab the folder and read what it said for myself.

My little meltdown must have been just what was needed to make him crack. His lips pulled into a smile as he motioned me to move closer. “Come see for yourself.” He held out the file in my direction.

I released an exasperated sigh as I reached for the folder. My fingers felt as if they didn’t want to work as I tried to take it from him. My hand trembled and my vision started to blur as I scanned the papers inside. It took a minute, but I found what I was looking for. In tiny type near the bottom were the words “Complete recovery. May resume normal activity.” Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I glanced up and then back to the paper. Was I dreaming? Was this real? “Does it…” I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“You’re clear, Soccer Star.” He grinned as he crossed his arms over his chest, the sleeves of his scrubs pulled tight. “I expect great things now.” He chuckled. My mouth opened and closed several times. I didn’t have words. Hell, I didn’t have anything at the moment. It was all swirling in my head. Soccer, Carter, playing again… all of it meshed together. It’s what I wanted, and what I’d been working for, for months. The future was right within my grasp.

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