Page 17 of If Everything Was Easy

“Ok, friends.” I held my hand out. I was going to regret this. I’d be rubbing one out every day at this rate because I was going to be close to her all the time. It was hard enough with the twice a week appointments, but I just agreed to spend the off days with her, too. I was going to hell, for sure. “I need to get cleaned up to go to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I waved as I jogged towards the stairs. I needed to get away from her. My entire body was on fire and she was the only thing that could put it out, and after her confession, I knew now more than ever that I could never ask that of her. She wasn’t the girl I thought she was, and she was trusting me to be a nice guy, and right now I was anything but that. I was just like everyone else. I wanted something from her, and I knew now I’d never get it.

Chapter 12

Carter

It’s been two weeks, and things seem to be good. I’ve been learning how to be her friend, and today we were actually going somewhere together. It was a non-date as I told her.

I didn’t even hear Mav when he walked up behind me. “Why are you so happy?” he teased.

I looked at him as I thought about his question. “I’m normal.”

“You’re whistling,” he deadpanned.

“Ok. That’s normal.” I went back to fixing my coffee.

“You go running this morning with her?” He snickered and I nodded. “That explains it,” he teased.

“What are you talking about?” I turned and crossed my arms as I stared him down.

“When you’re around her, you’re always in a good mood. It’s as if she’s a drug for you, and you got your fix so you’re happy for the day.” He shrugged. “I wish I could be around for when you bang her.”

“We’re friends.” I glared at him.

“Well, why don’t you benefit from that?” His grin told me that a million dirty thoughts were going through his head right now, and I’d be pissed if he shared them.

“It’s not like that,” I growled. “She’s a nice girl.”

“Uh huh.” He turned and wandered away. “Let me know when you realize that you need more for your daily fix,” he called over his shoulder; fucker.

Ava

I‘d just hopped out of the shower after my morning run. I didn’t have PT today and it was Saturday, so my whole day was free. Carter had asked me if I’d like to join him at the winter carnival. It was one of the last big events in the area before spring. Supposedly, a group of his friends were coming, and he thought it would be fun. I’d agreed, but now I wasn’t so sure.

“What’s wrong?” Ashley came shuffling in, sipping on her coffee.

“Carter asked me to go to the carnival, and I said yes.” I bit my lip as I looked up at her.

She clapped giddily. “Is this a date? Are you two finally going out?”

“No. Not a date. We’re friends.” I picked at the blanket on my bed.

“So what’s the problem?” She moved closer and sat down beside me.

I thought about how to word what I was going to say for several minutes. It always sounded better in my head than when I tried to voice it. “I know he likes me. I can see it in the way he looks at me. I think I might like him too, but I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship right now.” I sighed. I’d finally told someone other than my mom about what was going on.

“Ava” —Ashley turned to face me and paused— “I’m going to be as gentle as I can here. Danny was a douche bag. He’s the only boyfriend you’ve had for years. You started dating when you were kids. Carter is a man. He’s more mature, knows what hewants out of life, has a good job, and he’s hot. You should explore this.” Her eyes went wide as if she were saying ‘duh’.

“I don’t know if I can.” I looked away. “I like the way things are. What if they change?”

“Change is not always a bad thing. Life would be boring if we didn’t change some.” She laughed lightly. “You need to tell him how you feel.”

“No!” I squealed.

“What are you afraid of, really?” She stood.

“I don’t know,” I muttered as I picked at the blanket some more. “Nothing… everything.” I shrugged.

“Go to the carnival. Open the door for this… whatever it is… and see if he comes in. He’d be stupid not to. I mean, look at you. You are beautiful and kind, and smart. If he doesn’t see that, then he’s blind.”

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