Page 17 of Nashville Lights

It’s not quite what I’m expecting. But I can’t help but study the way the suit fits his big frame inallthe right places, showing off the strong, athletic body that’s so jacked it looks like it’s about to burst through the freaking seams.

The first thing I notice about Nate Boone is that he’s just as swoon-worthy as he’s always been, but the swoon-worthiness has somehow gone into overdrive. His handsomeness has seasoned into full-blown masculine virility in the prime of its goddamn life. The suit porn only adds to his hotness, even though it’s clearly uncomfortable for him, likeit’s clashing with the rest of his rugged, beefed-up he-manliness.

Wow.

Nate Boone has definitely changed. The boy I remember, all long limbs and easy smiles, has filled out, his presence almost too big for the room—and definitely more than big enough for that suit.

The other thing I notice is that Nate Boone looks…tired. It’s a sort of bone-weariness that draws my attention. Combined with his over-the-top gorgeousness, this detail is basically the equivalent of waving a red flag at a girl whose full time job is looking after her three very demanding and very in-demand older brothers.

I didn’t exactlychooseto be my brothers’ guardian angel, but the job chose me and I’ve grown to love it. Plus I happen to be pretty good at it.

I can’t take credit for any of the music, but in the early years it was me who first encouraged them to start writing their own songs instead of doing covers of other people’s. Travis and I sat down at the kitchen table and I told him to play me something original. We actually wrote the lyrics to that very first song together. It ended up being their first number one hit.

Vaughn probably would have spiraled out of control a long time ago if I wasn’t there, day in and day out, keeping an eye on him. He’ll usually toe the line for me, because he knows I worry about him, and he doesn’t like me worrying. Of the four of us, Vaughn is the wildest. He’s also the onewho’s internalized a destructive, misguided and twisted guilt over losing our parents. This has manifested in a way that’s made him punish himself by drinking too much and taking too many drugs. We’ve talked about it a lot. Along the way, every time he got close to an edge, we’d rally around him and pull him back from it. Especially me.

I’m relieved that he’s come through the other side of all that and he has Gigi now—who, I’ll admit, has a power over him I’ll never have and would never want to have. For her, Vaughn will doanythingto become the best version of himself. All I can say is thank God he’s found a girl who has that kind of sway over him. Now all he has to do is keep her. Luckily, the two of them are obsessed with each other and they seem to me like soulmates.

As for Kade, he’s so soulful he sometimes gets carried away with it. I don’t think he’s ever been clinically depressed or anything like that, but hefeelsstuff. Deeply. He sometimes needs to be reminded that the weight of the world isn’t actually on his shoulders.AndI’mthe one who mostly does the reminding. I tell him to write a song about it, which always helps. Kade’s pouring-your-heart-into-the-music songs are the ones that have won the most Grammys.

Kade also probably would have stuck with his nightmarish ex Carmen if I hadn’t convinced him, once and for all, to break it off with her.

Kade and I had a long talk about how unhappy he’s been. He admitted he hadn’t thought of it that way. He was grateful I reminded him that he used to laugh a lot more.He used to have fun. He used tobefun. So he finally bit the bullet and left her…or so we all hope. I need to follow up on that as soon as I get back to Nashville and check in on him.

So, because of my brothers, I’m attuned to sensing when things aren’t going quite right in people’s lives. Nate Boone has a world-weary edge to him. Like he hasn’t put his needs before anyone else’s in a long, long time.

I could help him see that.

Maybe…he needs me.

He’s the adolescent crush I never really got over, that’s now literally staring me in the face and forcing me to confront it.

Nate Boone is—even though, to be honest, I’ve never allowed myself to think of it this way until right now—The One Who Got Away. I was too young and too controlled at the time by my family to follow my heart. My parents were fighting a lot, my dad drinking too much, and then we had to deal with their sudden death, which was beyond devastating. All the way through, it was overwhelming. My brothers were the ones who were there for me. I needed them for my own stability. Collectively, they were my rock. And deep down I knew they’d never allow it.

All the girls were after Nate Boone in those days. He was young, hot, and a little bit wild. He was also considered family. None of it was a recipe for true love at the age of fifteen.

But now…holy shit.Seeing him again after all these years is giving me a crazy rush of realizations.

He’s the one I saved myself for, all this time. Because no one I’ve met along the way has even remotely compared to Nate Boone. I loved him. I think I still do.

I force myself to slow down with all these over-the-top thoughts.

All that happened a long time ago. I’m sure he’s moved on from any feelings we once had for each other. He probably has a girlfriend. Of course he does. I mean, freakinglookat him. He probably has women falling at his feet all over the county.

Our eyes meet for a charged moment, but his family surrounds him, wanting his attention.

“We’re honored by your presence, Mr. Corporate,” Luke teases. “Just don’t touch a farmer with those fancy clothes or you might get hayseeds on it.”

“Trust me, I won’t be wearing it again any time soon,” Nate mutters, his gaze holds mine as he takes in the look of me. The change in me. And there have been a lot of those.

“Watch out, everyone,” Leo grins. “He’s always grumpy AF when he wears the suit.”

“Leo Angus Boone,” comes Betty-Ann’s predictable scolding.

“I saidAF, Ma.”

“I know what it means,” Daisy announces in her soft little angel’s voice. “Uncle Luke says the F-word all the time. So does Uncle Tobias.”

Both men give their mother guilty looks.

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