Page 51 of Crown of Wrath

He nods, and I say, “Yes. I could.”

The Shade glances at the edges of the world where the black sea washes up onto the banks. Moments ago, it had been taking pieces of my island away. The effigy reaches out for the Shade, and presses a wooden hand against the black linen hood. “You promise you’ll be there?”

“I will.” The words are said without doubt. Like the vibrations from his lips had carved them into stone. He will be there. Not a promise. A truth.

The pain that seems to be all that I can remember clearly is still there. It’s still beating against me, doing its best to break me, and everything inside me wants to give into it—to wait for the world to crumble and fade into nothingness.

But the Shade is a wall against that agony. His promise is a stone in a current of misery that I cling to. “It’s going to hurt to rebuild this place, won’t it?”

He nods and doesn’t respond, but his words echo inside me.The pain will still be there. It will be terrible, but every day it will get better. It won’t ever go away, but you’ll learn to live with it. Eventually, there will even be days you forget that it’sthere. Instead, you’ll smile and think about the other things you have.

“It’ll get better,” I say slowly, the words rolling like a strong wind. The effigy lifts her hand, and I instinctively know what to do. Power flows through everything, and I see the world below the black sand. Underneath it all is actual stone instead of the crystal shadows that cover the beach.

I pull it up to the trees and regrow the trees out of the bedrock. One at a time, I begin to rebuild them. They’re not right, though. Something is still very off.

They need movement. They need life and growth, and that’s not possible with Earth. The Shade looks at the handful of trees that I’ve rebuilt, and he holds out his hand. Flames rise along his blackened fingertips, and he presses them against the stone bark.

Like ice melting, the stone fades, and underneath is a living tree. I brush my fingers against it, and agony hits me like a wave that’s overpowering. Memories of Hazel are my entire world. I remember her eyes and her kindness. I remember how she took my hand the day I moved in with Aunt Prudence and Uncle Trevor and taught me to play. I remember Hazel.

Then I remember that she died.

The tree blazes to life in front of me, and tears pour down the effigy’s cheeks because I remember the life and death of my closest friend. I understand part of where the pain came from now. I understand that every one of these trees is a memory, and I’m going to have to relive all of them, one at a time, to rebuild this place.

I look at the Shade, who hasn’t budged. “You had better be there when I leave this place,” I say.

“I will.”

Everything hurts, but I remember Hazel. I don’t want to forget her even though she died. She didn’t deserve to be forgotten,even for a moment. She was too good for that, and I won’t let her memory be lost.

I look at the Shade and nod to him. “Go. I’ll fix myself. I promise.”

The Shade looks at the effigy and then looks into the sky. “Don’t rush. Take all the time you need, Maeve, but don’t let the pain get to you. Whatever you do, don’t let it win.”

Then he bends down, and with his hands, he digs a hole in the sand. Flames erupt in the center of the hole, and instead of saying anything, he walks toward my effigy and leans down to press his shadow covered lips against its carved lips. I can feel the tingle of desire flowing through me, even though he only kissed my effigy.

It’s a kiss that’s so filled with passion that, even now, the anguish has to recede some so that the tingling feel of desire can work its way into me.There will be pain, but there will be more than pain.Then he disappears, fading into nothing and leaving only the flames in the sand.

I glance at the flames and at the only truly living tree in my forest before looking at the hundreds and thousands of trees that I’m going to have to regrow.

I won’t let these memories be lost. Even the ones that hurt.

Chapter 26

The hardest thing a man can do is wait. Pain, exhaustion, and even death may be preferable, but I waited. By the gods and dragons, I waited, and of all the sacrifices I’ve made in my life, this is the one I’m most proud of.

~Cole Cyrus, A History of Flames

The Shade

I open my eyes to the clearing where I’d brought Maeve, tears streaking my face. The cold air bites at my skin, but I barely feel it. My gaze drops to the woman in my arms—the woman I would give anything to save—but there’s nothing I can do. I can't shield her from what’s tearing her apart inside. The agony of that single memory looked like it would only push her further into the void.

But she promised me she wouldn’t give in, and I have to trust her. I can’t give up on her.

A sliver of moonlight filters through the bare branches, barely enough to illuminate the world. How long was I lost in her mind? How long will she be trapped there now? A dusting of snow begins to fall, catching the faint glow of the moon and shimmering like ghostly embers. The first snowfall of the year.

I can’t bear this pain for her. I can’t protect her from it. All I can do is wait—but not here, not in this frozen meadow in the middle of nowhere. She deserves to wake up somewhere warm, somewhere safe.

Without hesitation, I scoop Maeve into my arms. She's so light it’s as if she’s barely tethered to this world. Shadows curl around me, and the clearing vanishes as I step into the void. When I emerge, I’m standing outside Darian and Lee’s chambers in Stormhaven looking like the Shade.

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