Page 34 of Crown of Wrath

I shake my head. “No, I think that would be impossible. I want you to find my tutor. Vesta. She’s a sylph.”

“The one that was at the Midsummer ball?” she asks.

I nod to her. “Yes. She had the book, but I don’t know where she’d be. I would probably start with the Keep of Shadows.”

Lee nods. “That would make sense. Nobody goes in there anymore except the sylphs, so it’d be safe for her. I can do that.” There’s a lightness to her I feel has been missing. “I’ll pack my things, and then I’ll fly to Draenyth.”

I shake my head. “I’ll just shadow walk you to the outskirts of the city before I take us back to Aerwyn.”

Lee visibly shivers at the suggestion. “I’d rather fly. It’s only a two-day flight.”

She’s terrified of the void. Ever since the time that I almost let her and Darian become lost to it, she’s done everything in her power to stay out of it. Even flying for two days straight is preferable to a minute in the void.

I don’t blame her. She’s powerless there. Just a few extra seconds could be death to her. It’s like pulling her into the ocean when we all know she can’t swim.

“That’s fine. There’s some rush, but not enough that two days matter. But Lee…” I pause, and she perks up. “Be careful. The world is quickly becoming a much more dangerous place. I want you to tie yourself to Cole like Darian did. That way, if you needhelp, you can call us. It may not be optimal for us to shadow walk into the middle of the House of Steel, but we’ll do what we have to. I will not lose you to the House of Steel. Do you understand?”

She swallows hard. “Yes, my Queen.” Her tone of voice changes in an instant, and I recognize that there’s a difference between her deference right now and her fear of me when we were fighting the Nothing.

It’s the difference between a loyal member of my court and someone who doesn’t have any other option. The first is expected. The second is close to slavery, and I hate that I ever made her feel that way.

She puts her arm out, and just like so many times in the past, Cole presses his nail against bare skin and a black tally mark appears on Lee’s wrist. It’s a debt that will never need to be paid.

Then it’s done, and we’re hugging. Darian squeezes her tight and whispers in her ear, something I’ve never seen him do before. She nods at him and then turns back to us. “I’ll let you know as soon as I find her. I’ll make sure she and the book are found.”

I nod to Lee, and she hurries away. Darian’s gaze follows his sister, and I can see just how hard it is for him to be away from her already. Now that I think about it, I can’t remember a time when they’ve been apart. I almost call her back or tell Darian to go with her, but I need him here. I need to know if there’s any more information that Casimir can give us, and there isn’t anyone else to get that information from him.

But I need that book, too.

I look at Cole, and he takes a deep breath, but he doesn’t disagree with my decision. These are his friends, and even when he felt completely broken, he wouldn’t have let me do anything terrible to Darian and Lee.

“We should stop in and talk to Aric while we’re here,” I say. Darian nods, his eyes still on the door that Lee walked out of.

Without turning to look at me, he says, “Aric wanted to talk to you. There have been attacks closer to Stormhaven, and he’s having to deal with refugees. He wants advice.”

I glance at Cole again, and he speaks up. “Thank you, Darian. We’ll go chat.” He moves closer to his friend, and like Darian’s done to me several times now, Cole puts his hand on Darian’s shoulder and gives it a good squeeze. “She’ll be fine.”

“I know,” he says softly. “I just don’t like not knowing. We’ve never been apart from each other. You know that.”

“It’s necessary.”

He just nods, but there’s nothing we can do about it. Logically, this is the only answer. There’s no one else who can do either of the jobs, and we don’t have the luxury of dealing with one task before starting the other.

Cole takes my hand and leads me out of the room, but both of us look back at Darian before we walk into the hallway. Still staring in our direction, he looks completely alone in the world. I want to reach out to him, to tell him to go with Lee, but I know I can’t.

This is the part of wearing the Painted Crown I didn’t want. I hadn’t wanted to be required to hurt people who had done nothing wrong, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. No, I’m not cutting him or setting him on fire, but being away from his twin is going to be agony for him.

“I would have done the same thing,” Cole whispers and pulls me out of sight. “We all have to make sacrifices, and if the worst one is that Darian and Lee have to spend a few weeks apart, I’ll count them lucky.”

I take a deep breath, but I can’t stop the quivering inside me. I know I did terrible things before. I’d forced all three of them to fight until they nearly died from exhaustion, but I’m not that person now. I’m… I’m not quite so broken. It pains me to see them suffering.

“You’re right,” I say. But somehow, it doesn’t feel right.

“Come on. We have to talk to Aric. Then you need to go back to your father and spend a little more time with him. He’s helping your soul to heal, and that’s more important than anything else right now.”

The rest of the thought goes unspoken.Because if you don’t heal, you’ll go back to being the Queen of Earth.I was worse than the King of Flames. At least Casimir enjoyed the suffering he created. At least there was something in him that felt almost human. The Queen of Earth was dead inside. I was so broken.

Cole leads the way to the Throne Room where King Aric is talking to a group of obviously rich people, all of whom are wearing the absolute latest in fashion. Velvet dyed bright purple seems to be the highlight. It looked like what the servants wore in Draenyth. The human voices rise as the heavy door swings open on iron hinges as Cole closes the door.

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