Page 80 of First Love, Second Draft

“I had half of it right at least.”

She continued searching his eyes, obviously waiting for a real answer.

Noah let go of her hair. “I don’t know, Gracie. I guess I felt like you were so far out of my league. Here you were this beautiful senior in high school with a great Dad. I mean sure, your sister was a little scary, but...” He reached for that strand of hair again, needing to touch her and stay connected to her and not lose her as he tried explaining something he wasn’t sure he could even explain to himself.

He rubbed her hair between his fingers. “Truth is I felt like I’d hit the jackpot with you. From day one, I knew you were it for me. But I was scared to death thinking I may never be it for you. So when we started dating... I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to blow it by dragging all these skeletons out of my closet. Thenlater on...” He shrugged. “All my family drama just never seemed that important.”

“But they were your family.” She shifted her weight and winced.

“Here.” Noah spotted a fallen tree large enough for Gracie to sit on without having to bend much. He led her to it and brushed away the dried bark and leaves.

Once she was settled, she said, “I’m just looking back, trying to figure out how you avoided talking about them all those years we were together. Didn’t you ever miss them after you moved here?”

Noah settled next to Gracie on the trunk. Inhaled a deep breath. Sighed. Then reached for her hand and cradled it between his on top of his lap, needing that connection again. Especially since he still didn’t know how to explain it. Did he miss his family after he moved here?

“There was a game back when I was thirteen. Not just any game. The Little League championship. It wasn’t my turn to pitch, but right before the game, our starting pitcher came down with a stomach bug. At first we thought it was nerves, but by the eighth or ninth puke, we realized he wasn’t going to be spending any time on the mound. Another one of our pitchers had broken his arm two days prior, and our other pitcher just wasn’t very good. So I knew it was going to be up to me to get us through that game.”

Noah could still feel the sweat glazing his skin from the humidity and nerves hovering over the diamond. “I’m not lying when I tell you I felt as much pressure that night as any game I played in the majors. Maybe even more. The bleachers were packed. Felt like the whole town was watching. And yet in all those packed stands, I knew there wasn’t a single person out there rooting for me. Not my brothers. Not my dad. Not even Rosie, since she was pretty much housebound by that point. I knew I was on my own.”

“Did you blow it?”

He narrowed his eyes at Gracie. “Now as a writer, you of all people should know I can’t just jump straight to the end. Where’s the suspense in that?”

“I hate suspense. Did you blow it?”

“First few innings weren’t pretty.” Gracie huffed but tightened her grip as he continued on with his story. “I gave up a lot of runs. Thankfully our offense kept us in the game, but every inning was a battle. I kept getting down in the count. Batters kept hitting foul ball after foul ball, staying alive long enough to eventually earn a walk or a hit. Bases kept getting loaded, and I’d see no way I could possibly get out of the inning without giving up a dozen runs.”

“Just tell me if you blew it.”

He cracked a smile at her. “But then somehow, some way, I always got us out of it.”

Her hand relaxed inside his as she let out a small, “Thank goodness.”

“Inning after inning, I did that. All the way into extra innings. My arm was completely shot, but after eleven innings we won by a single run. I felt on top of the world.”

“As you should have.”

Without thinking, Noah dipped his head and kissed the skin on the inside of Gracie’s wrist. “Thank you for that.”

She didn’t tug her hand free, so the kiss must’ve been okay. “I’m sorry someone wasn’t there for you that night,” she said in a soft voice, letting him return their clasped hands back to his lap.

“Someone was there.” He felt her gaze on his profile as he continued staring at their hands joined together. “Soon as the game ended, I couldn’t help myself. I looked at the stands. And that’s when I saw him. My dad. It was the only game he came to all season. He was too drunk to come to any of the others. And you know what? I realized I couldn’t care less if he was there or not. Because I couldn’t care less about him. If I could show up on the mound and fight my way through inning after inning, why couldn’t he figure out how to fight for his family?”

Noah dropped Gracie’s hand and reached for his shoulder, massaging an ache there that refused to leave. “You want to know why I didn’t talk about my family after I moved here? Because no, to answer your question, I didn’t miss them. By the time I met you, I didn’t feel like I had a family left to miss.”

45

Grace:Are we sure my heroine shouldn’t end up with the farmer?

Rachel:Him again? I thought you were supposed to be working on Noah’s memoir.

Grace:I AM supposed to be working on Noah’s memoir.

Rachel:Then why are we still talking about the farmer?

Grace:Because my heroine’s heart is in serious trouble and I should be working on helping her, not Noah’s memoir!

Rachel:Just for the record, I’m pretty sure I saw this “farmer” in person the other week and he didn’t look fat or portly. He looked old. Shouldn’t we be calling him the elderly farmer?

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