Page 97 of First Love, Second Draft

Taking Mona’s advice, Noah tracked down Gracie. She’d gone outside and was hiding in the shadows of a pergola attached to the back of the barn. “You’re missing the Electric Slide.”

She glanced over her shoulder, the lights from inside the barn spilling out enough to highlight her soft smile. “Never did care for that one.”

Noah wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. “You know, the other night on The Hill, I listened to your version of that game, but I never did get a chance to tell you mine.”

“I don’t know that I want to have that conversation again.”

Noah turned her around to face him. Theywerehaving that conversation again. No walking away this time. “Gracie, don’t you understand that pitching through that game was the hardest night of my life? The hardest decision I’ve ever made? You called me, heartbroken. I was heartbroken too. Of course I wanted to be with you. But I didn’t know how to help you. For so long I’d felt like I didn’t know how to help you. So when an eight-year-old boy who was probably never going to make it to his ninth birthday had already asked me to do the one thing I knew how to do—show up on the mound and pitch—I couldn’t say no. He reminded me so much of Owen. I had to show up for him. I couldn’t not show up for him.”

Gracie shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I did something great that night, Gracie. You know it. I know it. It’s the whole reason we’re writing this blasted memoir together. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you that day. I’m sorry you felt so alone. I am. I’m truly, truly sorry. But... when will you forgive me? When will you realize I’m here for you now? I’m right here, Gracie.”

She still wouldn’t meet his gaze as her shoulders sank with a defeated sigh. “I do forgive you,” she whispered. “I forgive you, Noah. But now I need you to realize that sometimes you just have to let go.”

“What if I can’t let you go?”

“Then you better figure out a way how to. Because I can’t be with you again. I can’t go back to the person I was before.”

“What person was that?”

Her hair was falling out of her pins. She wiped a strand from her eyes, her lips quivering as she took in a few breaths before continuing. “I’m almost forty-two, Noah. I know time’s not on my side, but I also know the desire for a baby is still there. Waiting. And if we get back together, I know how I’ll be. I can’t... I just can’t go through it again. Not when I’ve finally reached a certain level of peace about it all. I’m better off alone.”

“We don’t have to try for another baby, Gracie. Why can’t we be happy, just you and me?”

“What if we’re not happy, just you and me? It’s too much of a risk.”

“So what? We risk it anyway. Come on, Gracie. This isn’t one of your romances where everything gets tied up in a neat bow by page three-twenty-two. This is life. This is love. The pages keep going. And sure, it’s risky and messy, and yeah, we may not always be happy. There’ll be heartache and disappointment and probably more tears. But that doesn’t mean we should just end the story here. Give up. Not fight for another chapter.”

She shook her head, more hair falling across her temple. “I need to get back to the reception.”

“Don’t leave me, Gracie.”

She dipped her head and stepped past him, leaving him alone in the dark.

59

Mona’s hand latched onto Gracie’s wrist as soon as she stepped inside. “There you are. Good. Matt and Rachel were just getting ready to leave and wanted to say goodbye.”

“Oh.” She fought the temptation to turn back for Noah. “Did they, uh, figure out where they were staying tonight?” Shouldn’t she turn back for Noah?

No.

Thankfully she couldn’t have turned back even if she tried the way Mona was dragging her by the hand. “St. Louis, probably. I don’t know. Didn’t ask. Matt said he had it taken care of. Now hurry. My feet are killing me. The sooner they leave, the sooner I can go home and take a hot bath. I’m too exhausted for any more of this nonsense.”

“You’re such a sentimental fool.”

Mona snorted. “Don’t think I’m not two seconds away from bawling my eyes out right now. That’s why I bought uncomfortable shoes. I knew it would keep me distracted from the fact my baby boy just went and got himself married. You should try it sometime.”

Gracie didn’t think there were shoes small enough to take her mind off everything tonight. They found Matt and Rachel surrounded by friends. When Matt spotted Gracie, he slipped away from the group.

“Thanks for everything, Aunt Gracie,” Matt said, giving her a tight hug. “Everything.”

She leaned back and palmed the sides of his face. “I’d do anything for you, you know that.” And she would. He’d always been more like a son than a nephew.

“Anything?” He leaned down next to her ear and whispered, “Then give Noah another chance.”

What a twerp. She never could stand the kid.

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