Page 46 of First Love, Second Draft

“Would it be so bad if you and Noah got back together?”

“Oh my word. Areyousuffering from malnutrition and dehydration?”

“All I’m saying is Luke’s perfect. You’d be crazy not to snatch up a guy like him. And you’re not crazy, Gracie. I mean, you’re crazy.” Mona pointed to the desk next to the oven. “But you’re notcrazycrazy. Which makes me think the reason you’re not snatching Luke up is because you’ve never gotten over Noah. And if you’ve never gotten over Noah, then maybe—”

“You want to know what I’ve never gotten over?” Gracie fistedher napkin. Rain began pelting the windows. “The number of times he put baseball first. Before me. Before the family we wanted to start. Before the future we dreamed of.”

“Gracie—”

“No, listen. I get it. That’s what the baseball life is. I knew going into it that there was going to be a lot of uncertainty, a lot of traveling, a lot of moving, a lot of separation. And all that was fine at the beginning. In our twenties. Even for the first half of our thirties. But eventually there came a time when I needed him, Mona. I needed him to be here. Not there. On the road. At another stupid game.”

“I understand, but—”

“Just once I needed to be the priority.” Now that she’d started, she wasn’t stopping until she got it all out. “I needed him to drop everything and come hold me after I sat in an ultrasound room all by myself, listening to a doctor explain that she couldn’t find a heartbeat and how sometimes these things just happen.”

Mona didn’t even try to interrupt this time. She pressed her lips together and clutched her soggy, coffee-stained napkin.

“All along everyone kept saying to just give it time. Just give it time. But I was running out of time. And we’d already tried everything. Spent so much money. So many tests. So many shots. And just when I thought it had finally happened... You have no idea...”

Mona darted glances around the kitchen, no doubt for escape. She’d never known how to handle Gracie’s emotions. Which is why Gracie had stopped confiding in her years ago. If Mona had a theme song, it’d be Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life.”

But after five years of never confiding in anyone, Gracie just needed someone, anyone, to listen. And right now that someone, anyone, was Mona.Sorry, Sis.

“Did you know when I walked out of there, I couldn’t even remember where I’d parked? Some nurse on a smoke break from one of the other clinics found me wandering around an hour after my appointment had ended. She asked if I needed to call someone. But I’d been so nervous before the appointment that I’d forgotten myphone at home. I was a wreck. An absolute wreck. Somehow I made it back to the house.”

The rain pelting the window sounded heavier now. More like sleet.

“Want to guess what Noah said after I called him and told him the news? Think he was wrecked? No. He wasn’t wrecked. He said, ‘Guess it’s not meant to be, babe,’ then went on to pitch the best game of his life. Spent the rest of his night smiling. Celebrating. Getting a cooler dumped on his head. Worst day of my life, and he acted like it didn’t matter at all.”

“I...” Mona rose from her chair. “I think I should go.”

Gracie nodded.Sure. Thanks for stopping by. Sorry to slosh my feelings all over the table in front of you.Gracie may as well have gone and spilled her guts to one of the dogs at Matt’s animal shelter.

Mona escaped from the kitchen and out the front door. When nothing but the sound of the ice maker churning inside the freezer filled the silence, Gracie reached for the last napkin in the holder to dry off her face.

And that’s when Noah’s voice, hardly above a whisper, reached to her from behind.

“It mattered. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. Maybe I still don’t.”

22

Noah:I need you to tell me everything you know about Luke.

Matt:Who’s Luke?

Noah:You don’t know Luke?

Matt:Do you mean the Sam Elliott guy?

Noah:You know who Sam Elliott is?

Matt:I just know everybody in town keeps saying Luke looks like him.

Noah:So what do you know about him?

Matt:Luke?

Noah:No! Sam Elliott!

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