Page 107 of First Love, Second Draft

He walked off the mound. Players ran past him on their way to the dugout. Raindrops fell faster. His first baseman shouted something, but Noah couldn’t hear.

His ears hummed. Rock music, voices, hands clapping, feet stomping. He couldn’t hear anything except for the defeated voice of one man, haunting him still, all these years later following that one Little League game.

Good game, Son.

Noah should have said something at the time. Should have responded. Should have looked his dad in the eye. Acknowledged him. Responded to his messages later. Answered one of his calls. Read one of his letters.

He shouldn’t have stayed away until he received the call years later that his dad was running out of time.

Lightning flashed.

Because by the time Noah had shown up, he’d been too late.

Just like with Gracie.

68

Buck’s eyes drooped, his breathing less labored. The morphine had helped. Had also made him groggy. Gracie reached for the remote and flipped the TV off.

“Don’t you dare,” her dad growled, eyes still closed. “I’m seeing how this plays out if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Why?” Gracie sighed, tempted to do a little growling of her own. “The game’s been in a rain delay for over an hour. There’s nothing to see.”

She stood from her chair and paced to the window. Torrents of rain pummeled the parking lot below. A storm similar in velocity to the one raging in St. Louis had settled over the hospital. Where was her sister?

“Turn it back on.”

“Why is it so important? It’s just astupidgame. I don’t get it. People are more important than games. People shouldn’t be at games. They should be here. I just—I don’t—why isn’t anybodyhere?” Instead ofthere.

“Gracie...” His eyes were open, barely. They’d exchanged the oxygen mask for his regular nasal cannula, which was hissing. “It’s not just a stupid game.” His voice weakened with each word. “It’s love.”

“Love? Please.” Gracie batted tears from her cheeks.

“People love the game... because they love people.” He coughed,a small rumble in his chest. “Noah... what he did... it was about that boy. That was the only way... Noah knew how to love.”

Gracie’s eyes burned with more tears. “What about me? That night was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I needed Noah to love me.”

“He did. He does. Don’t you see he wants to be your hero too? Now—” Her dad jabbed a finger at the TV. Gracie huffed a big sigh, then punched it back on.

“If he wants to be my hero, he sure has a funny way of going about it.”

“Men usually do.” Her dad grabbed her hand, his grip weak. “But don’t you think it’s time to stop pushing him away?” His grip trembled and he worked to catch his next breath.

“Dad? Are you okay?”

“I will be. If I know you don’t blow it in the final inning. I’m begging you, Gracie...” His next words came out no more than a whisper. “Go.”

Dad couldn’t be serious. She squeezed his hand. “I’m not leaving you alone. Especially not now.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not alone. I’ve never been alone and neither have you. And right now it’s not your hand that’s going to get me to where I’m going anyway.” Nodding his head to the door, he said, “But I know a man who might lose his way if you don’t grab hold ofhishand. Now go.”

“Absolutely not.” So what if her dad made a small point? So what if he made her think that voice she heard out in the parking lot had been real? So what if maybe all those times she’d felt alone had been more about her pushing everyone, including God, away rather than actually being abandoned? So what if a huge part of her right now at this very moment was aching to run as fast as she could back to Noah?

Now wasn’t the time for epiphanies and grand gestures. Now was the time to be with her dad. “If I leave, who’s going to stay with you?”

“Me.” Shorty wheeled into the room. “I’ve put up with him for nearly eight weeks. What’s a little while longer?”

“Same here.” Wanda, the nurse they sometimes jokingly referred to as Nurse Ratched, stepped into the room. This time she wasn’t wearing her white uniform. Just a pair of jeans and a sweater. “I’m off duty and I’ve got nowhere better to be,” she said with a wink.

---