Page 67 of Lost and Lassoed

He turned left, down the hallway toward my room, but he walked long enough that I knew we’d gone past it.

Another door.

His room.

And then, boots on tile. A light. Bathroom.

Gus sat me down on the closed toilet seat and knelt in front of me. His hands were on my knees, and when I saw his green eyes, tears welled in my blue ones.

His face was soft, and he rubbed his palms up and down the sides of my thighs.

“Don’t cry, Teddy,” I accidentally said out loud. My lip quivered, and my throat hurt.

Gus tilted his head and brought one of his hands up to my face. “You can cry, Teddy,” he said. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m so tired,” I whispered. My voice was trembling. I felt a tear slip over my cheek, and Gus wiped it away.

“I know,” he said.

“My dad,” I hiccuped.

“I know,” Gus said again.

“I’m—scared—” I stammered. “I’m—scared of having to live without him.”

“I know, baby.” Gus’s thumb stroked my cheek again andagain. More tears fell, and my vision was waterlogged. I looked up at the bathroom ceiling, trying to keep them at bay.

Gus stood, and my eyes stayed on the ceiling. I heard the shower start. When Gus came back to me, he took my hands and pulled me to my feet. He slid my jacket down my arms, and I heard it drop to the floor. The metal buttons hit the tile with a small clink.

“Arms up,” Gus said softly, and I obeyed. He pulled my T-shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor too. He knelt again, unbuttoning my jeans and tugging them down my legs along with my underwear. I put my arms on his shoulders to steady myself.

There wasn’t anything sexual about the way he was touching me and undressing me now. He was doing it with so much tenderness and care that it was a miracle I hadn’t melted into a puddle on his bathroom floor next to my discarded clothes.

He guided me inside the glass shower door. When the warm spray hit my body, I felt such a rush of release that I almost collapsed. Gus was still holding my hand and keeping me steady.

“Will you be okay for a minute?” he asked. I nodded, closing my eyes and turning my face toward the water. He left the shower door open, not caring that water was soaking his bathroom.

I didn’t know how long he was gone, but when I heard his footsteps come back, I turned to look at him. He was carrying stuff from my shower—my shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, lotion—everything. He reached into the shower and set them on a shelf. Then he started undressing.

He was beautiful.

Once he was naked, he stepped into the shower with meand shut the door behind him. When he put his hands on my waist, I sighed. He pushed on one side of my waist and pulled on the other to turn me around.

He kissed my neck before he brought his hands up to my shoulders and massaged them for a few moments. Then I heard him pick up a bottle and squeeze something out. When I felt his hands on my head, I realized what he was doing.

His fingers worked the shampoo through my hair. His fingers on my scalp made me groan. My head unconsciously tilted back, but it didn’t make it too far because Gus was still massaging my scalp. When he made it to my temples, I closed my eyes.

“Tip your head back, baby,” he said in my ear, and I did. He put one of his hands on my forehead to shield my eyes from the shampoo that he was rinsing from my hair.

When he was done, he moved on to conditioner, and then I smelled the familiar scent of my cucumber and mint body wash. I reveled in the way that his hands felt as they roamed over my body—taking care of me. He was very thorough.

I looked down and watched the white lather rinse off under the water and go down the drain.

“Turn around,” Gus said, and I did. He was putting some of my face wash in his hands. He rubbed it together on the tips of his fingers before he put it on my cheeks, and something about the gesture made me smile. He was so focused, so soft.

He gently rubbed the gel around my face and then said, “You might just have to go for it and put your face under the spray for this one.” I thought he was smiling a little. I did what he said, and a laugh bubbled out of me when I wiped my eyes.

Gus pulled me into him, and I laid my head on one of his swallow tattoos.

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