Page 29 of Stick Work

“Don’t be upset, Elias,” she pleads, her voice breaking. “I wanted this.”

“T…” My throat tightens, the words barely escaping. “Why? You told me so much tonight, but this…this?” I gesture helplessly between us. “You didn’t think to tell me?”

Her chin quivers, and I hate the way her pain twists something inside me. I never wanted to hurt her, not after what we just shared, but what the fuck.

She shrugs, but there’s a slight tremble in her voice when she says, “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

I shake my head, disbelief crashing over me. “It is a big deal,” I snap, the words harsher than I intended. She blinks rapidly, and I bite back a curse.

“I wanted you to be my first,” she explains, her voice soft. Her eyes search mine, pleading for understanding. But this confession feels like a dagger to the heart. I know I’ve crossed a line, but now…Jesus, the thought of hurting her—or her brother—tears me apart.

She fidgets, plucking at an invisible thread on the sheet, and I focus on her hand. “I guess…I didn’t think you’d care this much.”

My heart pounds in my ears as guilt and confusion rip through me. I lift my head, hold her gaze and snap, “Then you don’t know me at all.”

9

Taylor

After a sleepless night full of tossing and turning, I blink against the bright light shining into the bedroom. Moving quietly, I turn to take in the man beside me, and tears prick my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, and maybe I’m young and stupid, selfish even, to think it wouldn’t have mattered to him that he was my first—that I gave my virginity to him.

Was it a big deal to me?

It absolutely was. I wanted him to be my first, so I guess I can’t think it wasn’t going to matter to him. He didn’t want to take something he considers precious and important from me. I can only assume he thinks I’ve been a virgin this long because I was holding out for the right guy.

Was Elias that guy? Yes, he was. But I hurt him by not being honest.

It gutted me when he told me I didn’t know him—especially after he proved he knew me through his touch—and after he washed himself up and crawled back into bed with me, few words were spoken.

I blink back tears and crawl from the bed, making my way to the bathroom. It’s still early, and I promised to make breakfast, so I need to get myself showered, put on a smile and step into the role I’m here to play.

I hurry into the shower, grab the body wash and shampoo from my bag on the sink, and climb into the huge marble stall when the water turns hot. I adjust the spray and every movement, every sore muscle is a glorious reminder of the tender, incredible way Elias took care of me. I reach for his body wash instead of my own, and pour a generous amount into my hand.

I try to focus on the day ahead of me, and not what happened last night when movement outside the shower catches my attention. Dropping my hands from my body, I turn to see Elias standing there, looking so lost, and so sad, my heart skips a beat.

“Hey.”

My gaze falters, drawn down to the sight of him in nothing but boxers. His tall, powerful frame exudes both strength and a quiet vulnerability. I can't help but admire his physique, but when I glance back up, his eyes pierce through mine, searching, almost pleading. Not in a way that feels sexual, but with a rawness that catches me off guard. There’s sorrow there, and guilt, for taking my virginity.

His jaw tightens as he struggles to form words, his chest rising and falling with an unsteady rhythm. “Last night,” he begins, his voice low and tight. I see the conflict in his expression. Before he can say more, I reach out, my hand a quiet plea for connection. His features soften as he quickly sheds his boxers, stepping into the shower and into my space, his warmth wrapping around me as the water falls over us. I lift my eyes to his as he towers over me, overwhelming me and the space as he brushes my damp hair back. “T… I was a dick.”

“No, you weren’t,” I say quickly, shaking my head in complete disagreement. “You were anything but. You didn’t want to be my first, and I?—”

“Stop,” he cuts me off, his voice thick with emotion. His hand comes up to cradle my cheek, his palm warm against my skin. Intense eyes search mine. “Taylor, that’s not it. That’s not it at all. It’s the fact that I was your first.” He exhales sharply, dragging his free hand through his damp hair before clenching it into a fist. “Fuck, it’s just… I didn’t want to take that from you. Do you understand? I didn’t want to be the one to—” He stops, his frustration breaking into a self-deprecating laugh. “God, I sound like some old-fashioned idiot, don’t I?”

Despite the tension, a small laugh escapes me. “Yeah, Grandpa, it’s a little old-fashioned. But honestly? It’s kind of sweet.” I shrug, my tone softening. “You’re a product of your family, and that’s not a bad thing. I love your family. I love that they shaped you.”

“What we did was…” He pauses, making a fist with the hand still on his head. He pulls it away, mimicking an explosion as he opens his fingers. “Boom…mind blowing. But I don’t deserve to be that guy for you, Taylor,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the rain-like drumming of the shower. His hand drops from my cheek as if he can’t bear to hold on any longer.

I step closer, my hands finding his broad shoulders. I give a little squeeze and his eyes briefly close. “Yeah, you do,” I whisper. “You are that guy.” I pause for a second, wanting to give weight to my words and add, “The only guy who could have taken care of me like that. My first time would never have been that good with anyone else.”

His shoulders sag, the weight of his guilt and hesitation giving way to something softer, and I know we’re going to be okay. We fall silent, and he fills his hand with body wash, and begins to clean my body. He washes all my parts, and when he reaches between my legs, his head lifts, his eyes on me.

“Are you sore, babe?”

“I’m okay.” He touches me lightly, a tender caress of my most sensitive spot, and a small moan catches in my throat. His hands still. “Is that supposed to be turning me on, because if it is, I have to take a rain check. I have waffles to make with Grandma.”

“I’m not taking you again, right now, T. You need the day to recover from last night.”

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