Page 16 of Stick Play

“You just let him get away with it?” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I’m not judging, I’m just mad that this fucking asshole did this to you, and his unborn child. You both deserve better.”

I shrug. “I got away with Zoe, and that’s all that mattered.”

His voice softens as he brushes my hair from my shoulder. “You’re a good mom.”

“The thing is, Ash, I don’t really have anything against assholes who come right out and own it, you know. I’m not a homewrecker and never would have fallen for his charming ways if I’d known he was married. But if he wasn’t, and he slept around, and I knew about it, okay. At least let me make my choices on whether I want to be with you or not, based on truth.”

He goes quiet for a second, reflective, and I sense he’s struggling with his own demons. “I get it,” he finally says. “You don’t care if a guy sleeps around, you just want to know where you stand.”

“Exactly.” Ash has a reputation, we both know that, and that’s why I wanted to clarify that we could be nothing but friends with benefits for a weekend. “At the end of the day, I’m glad I found out who he was and got out with my daughter. I don’t want her knowing him, and even though I swore I wouldn’t, I found myself following in my mother’s footsteps. Believing the best of an asshole who didn’t deserve my respect, and he certainly doesn’t deserve to be part of Zoe’s life. That’s why I was quick to leave my nursing job and move here when I found out I’d inherited this café.”

He nods and goes quiet again, like he’s trying to take it all in and really, it’s a lot to take in. “You know Josie, my buddy Jesse’s wife is a nurse too, right? Does she know any of this?”

“No one other than Melanie knows that I’m a nurse.” I brush his hair back. “She doesn’t know much about my background. I don’t talk about my past with anyone.”

“You just talked about it with me.”

I shake my head, perplexed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

“You’re telling me because it’s heavy and sometimes you just need a friend to talk to, and probably because you’re tired, and you just need a damn time out.”

I laugh at that. He’s right, and I think I’m also a little chatty because the sex was intense and now I’m feeling a little bit vulnerable, and that’s not something I like to feel. “You and your time outs. Did your dad put you in a lot of time outs or something?”

“Actually, no. I was a good kid. Never got into trouble.”

I eye him. “Why do I have a feeling your dad would tell a different story?”

He grins. “Beats me.”

“Not that I’ll ever meet him.”

“Right.” He inches back, his demeanor changing. Was it something I said? “We should probably get to bed. If I’m going to get myself untied from that chair before the kids can beat me with pool noodles,” he gestures toward the chair pulled out from the table. “I’m going to need rest.”

I touch his face, oddly needing the contact again. “I really appreciate this.”

“No problem.” He jerks his head toward the hall. “Come on, you need rest too.”

With that he takes my hand, and it’s the strangest thing holding hands with him. He guides me down the hall and stops outside my bedroom door. I glance up at him and my stupid heart wobbles. I am not the kind of girl who can have sex and not feel something. Dammit, why did I think I was? I don’t know but I need to pull myself together. I can’t let sex muddy the waters here, and mess with my emotions. Maybe I just need sleep. Yeah, sleep will help clear my thoughts and get me back on track.

“Night,” he murmurs and bends to kiss me on the forehead. With that, he walks away and I stare at his muscular back until he disappears into the small spare room. I cross the hall and check on the kids, my heart squeezing tight when I see Zoe in her bunk bed, Camryn and Tate sharing the other, which is beside it. Zoe didn’t like them stacked when we first got them. The kids all insisted they be in the same room and that worked out well, considering I needed a bed for Ash.

At least they won’t be surprised to find him here in the morning and they know he’ll be watching them tomorrow. I head to my bed, and climb in, my body sated and sore in the best possible ways. When I open my eyes again, it’s to the sound of laughter in the kitchen, and the second I hear Ash’s grumbling voice, I jackknife up and check the time.

I don’t usually sleep so soundly. It’s crazy that I didn’t hear them all get up. I guess the sex completely knocked me out. While that is great, the knot tightening in my stomach is making me question all this and thinking that maybe sex again isn’t such a great idea. I bite my lower lip and throw my legs over the side of the bed. Yes, we said we’d be doing it again, but I didn’t expect to feel so emotional. Maybe I can’t do this anymore.

I hurry from my room, make a fast trip to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth, and follow the voices to the kitchen. When I get there, I find three little ones on stools, all stirring batter in their own bowls. My gaze meets Ash’s and he looks frazzled and terrified, and a whole lot out of his element, but everything about this, about the way he’s trying, and doing a great job is…adorable.

Calm down ovaries.

“What’s going on?” I ask as I step up to the island and glance into the bowls.

“Mommy, Ash is letting us all make our own pancakes.”

He raises his brow, checking in with me. “Isn’t that nice of him.”

He relaxes a bit as I reassure him. “Coffee?”

I nod and he puts a cup under the coffee machine and tosses in a pod. “I didn’t even hear you guys get up.”

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