Page 47 of Sticking Out

He barks and turns away to look out the window and I just laugh. Since it’s Friday, I take a different route home so I can go through the drive-thru and get them pup cups. It’s always a fun adventure and I usually get more on me than they get in their mouths, but I love it.

Howls start in the back when I take the turn, because they know where they’re going. I reach the drive-thru and pull up to the window and Tabitha is waiting with a cardboard tray full of cups filled with whipped cream. They’re free, but I always leave a big tip since I’m ordering so many. I pull the bus over, and one by one, give the dogs their treat, laughing as they slurp and soak me. Buster is the worst, though.

Once done, we make our way home, and I drop the dogs off with their owners. I’m anxious to get home to Conner. Tonight, we’re painting the main bedroom, and if the pregnancy test is negative, I’m helping. I’m not incapable, and I’m excited to get a new color on the walls.

I don’t know why but I feel a measure of relief when I find Conner’s car in my driveway. I park the bus and climb out, wiping some drool off my sleeve. The front door opens and when I find Conner waiting for me, a sense of home and hearth wrap around my heart. I never felt that way with Alec. Not that he ever waited at home and opened the door for me.

“Hey,” I murmur when I reach him and he bends to kiss me, greeting me without words. I inch back and take in the warmth in his eyes. “How was skating camp?”

He smiles. “It was actually really fun.”

That warms my heart. “I ordered a pizza, and picked up wine. Alcoholic and non-alcoholic.”

I put my hand on his cheek and kiss him again. “Are you ready?”

I nod. “I’d like to shower the slobber off me first if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’s okay and I’d like to help if you don’t mind.” He grins. “I can’t promise I won’t slobber all over you though.”

I laugh at that and take his hand. “Come on.” We both head upstairs and this time I guide him into my bedroom. It was nice of Ash to come and help him set up the bed. “You know what?” He follows me into the ensuite bathroom.

“What?”

“I just realized something.” I reach into the shower and turn it on, as he starts taking his clothes off.

“Ash never made it to the party at the pool when it was Noah’s turn with the cup.” I tug off my shirt and drop it on the floor. Conner’s eyes go to my bra as I reach around my back and unhook it. I almost laugh at how easy it is to be naked around him, how we’re so damn comfortable with each other we can have a conversation as we strip. Oddly enough, Alec never wanted the lights on during sex, and we never got naked in front of each other. He might have been my first lover, and I was naïve and innocent, but something told me that wasn’t the norm.

“Maybe it took longer for him to fix Gina’s fridge than I thought.” He kicks off his pants and boxers and is already sporting a beautiful erection. “Shit, I feel bad about that. He was looking forward to the celebration.”

“You haven’t talked to him since that day?” I undo the button on my pants.

“No, been kind of busy.”

“Have I been keeping you from your friends?” I swallow, remembering that conversation with the girls from long ago. I know he assured me he’d rather hang with me. There was nothing about him to suggest he was being dishonest. I know that. It’s just, if nothing can ever develop between us, and I’m not sure it can, he really should be out there finding someone. I know I want him but if he doesn’t want me, I don’t want to hold him back.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He steps into me, slides his hands down my back and cups my ass.

“Oh, so you’re here for the sex,” I tease, loving that his mood has shifted to a playful one. I hate seeing him upset or unhappy, and honestly, we’ll probably never know why his brother did what he did.

He answers with, “Let me help you with your pants.”

He drops to his knees, and I admire his naked body as he unzips my pants and tugs them to my ankles. I hold his shoulders as I take turns lifting my legs, and once I’m completely naked, we step into the shower.

He pumps soap into his hands, his mouth on mine as he begins to wash me. He does my back and, tired after a long week, I just stand there and let him. Like me, he falls silent and after he washes me, he turns me to face him. I open my eyes and scan his troubled face.

“Maybe he was going to do something with them. Like…I don’t know. Remember when Gunther had that cod fish mounted for Brady and Melanie?”

At first, I’m completely confused. I’m about to ask what he’s talking about when I clue in that he’s referring to all the things his brother took. He’s putting a positive spin on it, thinking with his heart, and maybe it’s the only thing he can do. The alternative, that his brother wanted to hurt him, might be too much for him to bear.

“I think you could be right. Maybe he was going to make a Conner room, and display all your stuff.”

A strange noise, a half laugh sort of, catches in his throat. “A shrine to his baby brother.”

“Yeah, a shrine,” I agree.

A long moment of silence as he washes my shoulders and arms. There’s a deep concentration about him as he continues to lather me, and I’m almost afraid to ask what he’s really thinking.

“I’m not sure I knew who he was,” he says, the sadness in his voice slicing through my heart like a serrated blade.

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