Page 41 of Sticking Out

Will there ever come a time that I can do that?

15

Dani

It’s just after lunch time as I toss a ball for Buster, and okay, even though I’m not supposed to have favorites, I’m super fond of the big St. Bernard. As I walk around the big playroom at the Airbnb, Buster runs for the ball. The second he’s gone, Chester, a small King Charles Cavalier spaniel comes rushing over for a rub.

I smile happily as I play with all the dogs. It’s been busy as we pick up more pups in the summer with people going on vacation. Honestly, I can hardly believe how quickly the days are passing. Time has been flying by. I guess that old saying is true: time flies when you’re having fun. Conner and I have been having fun, and now that school is out, he’s gearing up for his hockey camps at the rink.

We’ve been having sex like randy bunnies—when I’m ovulating and even when I’m not. Conner has been keeping fit by running, and exercising, and I’ve been busy with the dogs, and buying new furniture and renovating.

He likes to help when he can, and I always enjoy when he comes along with me. I honestly have never been happier, which scares me. I’m not superstitious like Conner, but sometimes I do believe when things are too good to be true, they are. I know how fast you can lose everything. I’m not sure I could ever go down that road again. Soon enough we’ll be taking another pregnancy test, and while I want a child, I’m very conflicted, because I don’t want things to end.

My phone pings and I pull it from my back pocket and grin when I see the message from Conner. Did he sense me thinking about him?

Conner: I see you.

I laugh and glance up at the camera.

Me: Creeper.

Conner: Haha. Are we still taking Buster to the nursing home?

I walk over to the camera, and adjust it. Being a tease, because it’s fun, I toy with the top button on my blouse. Anyone else watching wouldn’t take what I’m doing as sexual, and in fact it looks like I might be checking out the camera to make sure it’s working.

Conner: Oh la la.

I laugh out loud at his French. He’s been taking lessons with me one night a week these last couple of weeks, but he still has a long way to go. I’m happy he’s trying, though, and it would be fun to teach our child a new language if I ever get pregnant. I’m actually starting to worry about it. After losing a baby, and failed in-vitro, I didn’t expect it to happen overnight, but I’ve been through a couple of cycles already and nothing. I do believe in nature knowing what’s right and maybe, unlike with Alec, this isn’t meant to be. That’s kind of strange when you think about it. I loved Alec, but was never in love with him like I am with Conner.

Me: Like what you see?

Over the past month, I’ve gotten even more comfortable with my body. The way Conner worships me, touches me…I sigh. It fills me with confidence. Heck, I feel so good about myself, I could probably join one of those dating sites. Not that I want to. The truth is, I don’t want what I’m doing with Conner ever to end.

Conner: Want to see more of it. (Peach emoji)

Me: (eggplant emoji)

I smile into the camera, and really wish I could see his reaction.

Conner: I’ll be by shortly.

Me: See you soon.

I turn from the camera, and walk over to the sink to refill the bowls. Jessica comes in for her shift, and the dogs run to her. I grin as she greets them. I really hired good staff and I’m very fortunate to have this place. Conner was right. What I do is important.

“Hey Jess,” I say, and wash my hands. “I’m heading out with Buster.”

“Oh, Buster. You are such a good boy.” She gives him lots of love and he soaks it up. It’s no wonder he’s a great therapy dog. Someday, I’d like to have a therapy dog too.

I head to the lunchroom and grab my bag and keys, and leash Buster up. He prances out the front door with me, and I wave to the front staff, who all get a kick out of the way this big male dog prances like he’s a prince or something. I guess he knows his value.

I take him to the fenced-in grassy area as we wait for Conner, and when he arrives, he climbs from the car with a big coffee in his hand. He walks up to me, kisses me like we’re long-time lovers, and hands me the coffee.

“You’re too sweet.” He really is the most thoughtful man I know and later, when I finally do talk to him about something that’s been on my mind for a while now, I hope he doesn’t get upset with me.

“I know what my girl needs,” he says with a grin, and I walk Buster over to the bus. We all climb on, and I take a big sip of my coffee before starting the engine.

“How was your morning?” I ask, and set my cup into the holder. I start the bus and glance at him sitting in Trixie’s seat. Buster, who’s so incredibly smart, takes his seat and before I back out of the parking lot, I toss him a biscuit.

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