Page 42 of Stick Move

The house is quiet as I walk around, searching for Noah. I find him in the den, taking books out of a box and putting them on the shelves.

“Are you okay?” I ask quietly. He turns to me. “I can go if you want some quiet time.”

“No, please stay.” He exhales loudly and sits on the desk. “Tough night.”

I step up to him and he instantly widens his legs and pulls me in between them, wrapping his arms loosely around me. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I put my arms around him. Silence fills the space as we hold one another, and I soak in the warmth of his skin as his breath tickles my neck.

“I really made a mess of things.”

I inch back and take in the worry in his dark eyes. “I understand why you did it, Noah.” I lightly brush his hair back and search his handsome face.

“Seeing Mom…like…” He stops talking as he begins to choke on his words.

“It’s really hard.”

“One minute she seems so happy and lucid, and the next…” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to lose her.” He sniffs. “I don’t want Camryn to…” He swallows, hard. A moment later, he snorts out a humorless laugh. “Now I’ve dragged you into it.”

“You did and said what you thought was right in that moment.” I rub his shoulders. “I don’t mean this in a mean way, but soon enough, your mom might not even remember what you said.”

“Bean is never going to forget.”

“No, that’s why I didn’t want you to say anything tonight.” I give his shoulders a squeeze. “We need to be careful how we phrase it. We have to do it gently, so she doesn’t think I’m not going to be in her life.”

“Right, I almost fucked up a second time.” His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about, being in her life?”

“Camryn is a fantastic little girl. I don’t know what’s going to happen after the NHL season, or even where I’ll be living when I’m done being her nanny. I mean, I’ll eventually want to put my education to better use, right?” His eyes are locked on mine, watching me carefully and I throw one arm out. “Noah, you could fall in love and be married by next summer. I see the way women are with you.” His dark eyes remain focused, strained, and I find him quite unreadable. “But that doesn’t mean I have to abruptly exit Camryn’s life.”

“No?”

“No. I’d like to be a part of her life, if that’s okay with you.”

I want to tell him I can always be a part of his life too, but he’s going to one day find a woman who he’ll want to marry and who will really be Camryn’s stepmother. As he considers that, I add, “A lot of nannies stay in contact with the kids they care for even when they’re grown up.”

“You’d really want that?”

“I do.” I chuckle. “I still see some of the kids I cared for here at the resort when I was a teenager. They’re in their teens now, but they pop in to say hello.”

A small smile tugs the corners of his mouth. “You were so good with them. They loved you. That’s how I knew you’d be great with Camryn.”

I arch a brow, using words he once used on me back at him. “Didn’t know you were watching.”

He shrugs. “I guess we have that in common.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I saw you watching me, too,” he explains, his voice low and quiet, like something from the past is paining him and I hate seeing him like this.

“You mean you watched me watching you?” Jaw agape, I stare at him. I thought I was stealthier than that.

He huffs out a breath. “More like I watched you sneering at me.”

I jerk back a bit. “Wait, what are you talking about?” My mind goes back to the days I could see him through the cracks in the fence as he mowed and gardened. Then there were the times I got a really good view from the resort patio.

“You hated me,” he announces, no harshness to his voice. “You sneered at me like you didn’t even want me on the property.”

“No.” I shake my head fast. “I never hated you, Noah. Like you said, I didn’t know you, and the people I hung out with?—”

“Hey.” The softness in his voice reaches his eyes and silences me. He brushes his thumb over my flushed cheek. “I thought we were going to leave the past in the past.”

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