“It’s not funny,” he groans.
“I know,” I respond and pinch myself to keep it together.
“Daddy, are you okay?” Camryn asks as Melanie gets her off the swing.
“Peachy, Bean,” he groans.
“Come on.” Melanie holds a hand out to Camryn. “Why don’t we go get your dad an ice pack.” After they disappear into the house, Noah manages to push to his feet.
“Are you okay?” I ask, still wondering what the heck is going on.
Tenderness steals over him, and the warmth on his face curls around my shattered heart. “I am now.” He lightly touches my face. “Now that you’re here.”
“Noah.” My heart pounds in my ears. “What is all this?” I glance around the expanse of yard and spot sheep in the distance. Everything about the place reminds me of my happy days with my grandparents.
“I’m sorry,” he begins, and a hiccupping sob catches in my throat as I miss those days. “I’m sorry for what I said, or for ever believing anything anyone ever said about you.”
He’s apologizing. God, I’m the one who should be begging for forgiveness. “Noah, I can understand?—”
“No, Sunshine.” He stops me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “There’s no excuse for my behavior and isn’t it just like you, trying to make this apology easier on me. Don’t. I don’t deserve easy. I’m not even sure I deserve you…”
“You don’t think you deserve me?” I stand a little taller as my heart flutters with hope. “Are you saying you still want me?”
He lets out a snort. “More than life, Sunshine. Actually, you are my life. You’ve given me and my life. We’re nothing without you.”
“Noah,” I begin, tears falling hard. “Those things I accused you of. You’re not that guy. I know that.” I sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand, unlady like, I know. “It was my insecurities. I…I…”
“You expect the worst from people, and I’m sorry I gave you a reason to think the worst of me by believing the worst of you.” He swallows, and the pain in his face cuts through me. “All along, I said we’ve moved past high school, yet I acted like an immature teen right back in the school hallway when Allan spewed lies and called me a loser. I shouldn’t have punched him.”
“No, you should have.”
His head rears back. “What? You don’t believe that. You dropped to the ground to help him.”
“Is that what you think?” He angles his head confused. “I dropped to the ground to make sure you actually hit him hard enough to break his damn nose. He was lying and trespassing, and I have no idea how he got back into the house when I’d changed the locks. He had that coming.”
He stares at me in complete confusion for a moment, and then a laugh bubbles out of his throat. “You’re kidding me?”
“I would never kid about that.” I grunt out a humorless laugh. “Is that awful of me? Maybe deep down I really am that cruel girl from high school.”
“You’re anything but cruel, Sunshine. You’re kind and considerate, and loving and giving. You care more about others than you do yourself. I lied when I said we didn’t know each other. I know you, and what I know, I like.”
I glance down, ashamed. “But I never spoke up…”
He puts his thumb under my chin and raises my eyes to his. The warmth I find there pushes back the cold ache inside me. “You never spoke up in high school because you never knew your place in this world, never knew where you fit in. Believe it or not, I always knew you were a better person than those you hung out with. I never would have bought the resort to help you if I didn’t believe that.”
My chest constricts. “That’s why you bought it.” I’m not asking a question, but he answers anyway.
“Of course.”
“I’m sorry I ever believed otherwise.”
He brushes his thumb across my cheek. “I can see why you did. But the truth is, Brighton, you were a mess when I ran into you on the street, and I’m not talking about the ice cream. You looked like you were two seconds from breaking down and losing your shit, and while it was never my place to make decisions for you, I wanted to give you a fucking break. Because I don’t think anyone else in your life has ever put your needs first.”
I cry harder and he pulls me to him. With my face pressed against his chest, I mumble, “It was the break I never knew I needed. For the first time in my life, I had time to think about who I was, and what I wanted. I was so lost, Noah. My whole life I’d been vying for my father’s attention. Needing to be important and maybe even fill the void of my mother.”
“That was never your job.” The warmth and understanding in his voice brings on more tears. No one has ever known me or understood me like this man.
“I know that now. But I lost years working day and night, trying to get his approval, but he was too lost in his own grief to even know I existed.”