Page 74 of Stick Move

22

BRIGHTON

It’s been one full week since Noah walked away from me. One full week of me moping and crying and trying to wrap my brain around everything, including the loss of a mother I never knew, a mother who’s love I desperately wanted. That was hard as hell on top of everything else. Sure, she left, but she was still my mother, and I wish I could say it never hurt, but it did. I have no idea why she left me an inheritance. Was it to make up for her wrongdoings or was there a part of her that still loved me? I can’t help but hope it’s the latter, but I guess I’ll never know.

The second Noah walked away, Allan tried to get into my good graces, but good God, I was having none of that. Did he really think I would want him back? Cripes, the only reason he was sniffing around was because he got wind of the money, and while I’d learned what he was about when he left me, that doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt.

I walk around what used to be my wing of the house, lost and bereft. Noah and Camryn haven’t been back and at first, I was sure he’d changed school districts. Until I hid outside the school one day to see Camryn’s grandfather pick her up. Of course, that can’t continue to happen. He can’t be her full-time caregiver when Noah is away. Not with his wife’s declining health.

I miss Camryn…I miss Noah.

Not only do I not have them, I have no one. All Noah’s friends are his. Although I bonded quite well with a few of the women, I’m disappointed that I never heard from them. Then again, none of them knew the engagement was real, so how would they know there was a breakup that left me heartbroken? Melanie has been trying to get in touch with me, I’ve just not been in the mood to talk to anyone.

“Ugh,” I groan out loud and catch a glimpse of myself as I walk by the living room mirror. My hair is a tumbled mess. Why bother brushing it? My face is pale and stark against the dark circles under my eyes. Sleep is a thing of the past, and I’m losing weight again. Food has no appeal. I’ve been slowly packing my things, and I’m surprised Noah hasn’t had movers in already. Maybe he’s waiting for me to be gone before he ever sets foot in the place again, but it kills me to break my promise to him—that I’d always be in Camryn’s life.

Do I really think all of this was revenge?

God, I don’t. I truly don’t. Julie and Gemma got in my head, and in a moment of weakness, all my demons came back to haunt me. Then the news about my mother, Allan and Noah squaring off against one another, and I didn’t know which way was up or down. I took the ring off because I was confused and insecure. Little did I know that Julie, Gemma and Allan would be feeding Noah lies…lies that could be easily believable under the circumstances.

It hurt me when Noah said we didn’t know each other. It’s not true. The man knows me better than I know myself, and vice versa. Dammit, we belong together.

What are you going to do about that, Brighton?

“Ugh,” I moan again. What can I do about it. He walked out of my life. He believes I no longer needed him now that I landed a huge inheritance. It’s crazy. When my mother left, it was the downfall of Dad and the decline of my early life. Then I’d found love, a small family to call my own. Until the inheritance landed in my lap. It was like the cherry on top of a tainted past—the collapse of my future. The nail in the coffin.

“Geez Mom, what did I ever do to you?”

My mind goes back to something Camryn once told me. “Sometimes when people love you, they still leave.”

Did my mom still love me? Did she leave for reasons that had nothing to do with me? I always thought it was my fault. That I wasn’t enough for her, and maybe that’s why I tried so hard to be a good daughter, seeking Dad’s approval. I didn’t want him blaming me for Mom’s abandonment.

What I didn’t tell her is that people leave because they don’t love you. Did Noah leave because he didn’t love me? There’s a part of my heart that doesn’t believe that. Noah left because he thought I’d betrayed our trust. Is it possible my father betrayed my mother’s trust? Not that I’ll ever know, and I certainly have no way of finding out now.

While my parents’ history is buried and behind us, mine and Noah’s…well, it isn’t in the past, and a few questions remain unanswered. Noah left, but does he still love me? Have my views on love and leaving been skewered? Do we still have a future?

Go find out, Brighton.

I go perfectly still and stop pacing as that idea pops into my brain. I stand in front of the mirror, staring at myself. Noah might not want to see me or talk to me, but I can’t let that stand in my way. What can stand in my way is the fact that I don’t know where he is. I guess the first logical place to check is his parents’ house.

I’m about to move, force myself to go to my car even though I’m terrified he won’t believe a word I have to say, when the doorbell rings. I gasp and take in my pale pallor. I can’t answer the door looking like death, even if it is Noah. But if it is Noah, I need to see him right now.

I run to my door, fling it open and dart down the steps. I pull open the big front door, and air leaves my lungs when I see it’s Melanie. “Oh.”

“Nice to see you too,” she responds.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Since you’ve been ignoring me, I thought I’d just show up.” She takes one look at me. “Even though you look like death, I’m not the grim reaper, so go get changed and comb your hair. You need to get out of the house. You’re starting to mold.”

She’s probably not wrong. “It’s not a good time.”

She folds her arms. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“I was actually on my way out.”

“Looking like that? I doubt it.” I’m about to protest and she speaks. “Come with me. It won’t take long, then I’ll take you to wherever it is you need to go. You don’t even look like you’re in any shape to drive.”

“I haven’t been sleeping.”

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