“I kind of thought that.” He unbuckles my seat belt and sits back in his own seat, giving me a minute. I breathe through the ache in my stomach and stare off into the distance, to the area where my father rests.
After a couple of deep, fueling breaths, I reach for my door and the second I open it, Noah is out of the car, crossing the front to meet me as I step out. He gathers me into his arms for a second, and I soak in his warmth and comfort as he drops a soft kiss onto the top of my head. His hand slides down my back and he moves in beside me as we walk along the path. Honestly this is the last place I thought he’d be taking me today. I glance at the handsome man beside me, and my heart thumps. He cares about me. He cares about my well-being and healing and that I’m not alone in this world. Sees that I have value and worth, even after I lost everything, even when I didn’t believe it myself.
I swallow as a few more tears fall. “This way,” I say softly as the quiet of the cemetery wraps around us. I guide him along the path, and walk past headstones, being careful to show respect by not touching or getting too close. My heart starts beating faster as we come to my father’s resting place, and when we reach it, I come to an abrupt stop and face it, reading the inscription that I wrote. Just like I wrote the obituary, and arranged the service and reception. Who else was going to do it?
I lean against Noah, the invisible rope around my chest that always pinched tight is now loosening a bit, because, for the first time in my life, I have someone to lean on. He sinks to the ground, taking me down with him, and he settles me between his legs, letting me use his body as a backrest. I cross my legs and lean against him, drawing on his support.
After a long moment, I speak. “Dad, I’m sorry I lost the resort.”
Noah wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. His mouth is at my ear when he whispers. “No, Sunshine. You didn’t. You saved the resort. That’s how you should look at it. Look at all the condos and shopping centers being built up and down the shore. That easily could have happened in a sale of your resort. I am very sure your father is proud of you.”
I take a few deep breaths as a new kind of emotion grips my throat. “Noah,” I begin as tears fall. “I think I’m really, really angry.”
“I know you are. You never had a chance to deal with that anger through grieving. That’s why we’re here.”
I bury my face in my hands and he just holds me as I cry and cry, and when I’m out of tears, my body begins to shake as memories bombard me. I reminisce about the good times and the bad, the past and the present…and when I think about my future, and the possibilities that lie ahead, the strangest thing happens. I don’t know if it’s because Noah is holding me, or if all the tears are washing the anger from my body, but suddenly Dad’s betrayal doesn’t hurt quite so much. Heck, I’m pretty sure until this moment, I was the one owning the betrayal by having to sell. But Noah is right, I saved the resort. That’s how I should think of it.
As my body begins to relax, he opens up to me. “When Shayla left Camryn, it was heartbreaking. I was so goddamn angry at her and at the world. It wasn’t so much that I was worried about raising Camryn alone. I had my parents. I just couldn’t understand how she could abandon her baby, you know.”
It doesn’t go unnoticed how he said Shayla left Camryn, not Camryn and him. “I know.”
He huffs out a disgruntled snort. “Of course, you do. Unfortunately.”
“She didn’t die, but someone doesn’t have to die to grieve them, you know. My anger kept me from grieving and forgiving.”
I let out a long shaky breath. “I didn’t know how angry I was until now, Noah.” He doesn’t speak. Instead, he just holds me tighter. “My years growing up, he buried himself in his work and I think that was his way of grieving Mom.”
“No one was there for you, Brighton.”
“I worked really hard, non-stop for as long as I can remember, doing everything to get my father’s attention and approval.”
“He noticed, Brighton, and he was proud of you.”
We both fall quiet, lost in our own thoughts as the wind picks up and whips around us. After a long moment, I whisper, “Thank you, Noah.” I’m not just thanking him for taking me here, but for not hating me and for buying the resort and saving it.
“You don’t have to thank me. Sometimes people make mistakes. But we learn from those mistakes, right? Your father loved you. Work and gambling was his way of covering his hurt, and he might not have known how to be a father, when this little girl named Brighton—Lori—needed both a father and a mother.”
“I’ve made mistakes too,” I whisper, knowing he doesn’t want to talk about the past, but it needs to be said.
“We all have.”
“Noah, I’m sorry about high school. I never should have let my friends treat you the way they did. I should have found my voice and did something about it.”
“It hurt, Brighton. I can’t lie about that. But I took all that anger and hurt and funneled it into hockey. Hey, maybe I wouldn’t be in the NHL if those kids hadn’t called me Crater Skater.”
She frowns. “It’s not funny.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Noah, I thought all along you bought the resort to get revenge on me.” I shift, and face him. “Demoted me to nanny as payback.”
Hurt moves into his eyes. “You think I would do that.”
“I did. I don’t. Not now. I’m sorry. I know how cruel people can be, from my own experiences. But you’re not that guy. You’re not malicious, atrocious or facetious, or any kind of…ious.”
“I’m sorry you thought that about me, that you had so many cruel people in your life that you looked for the worst in everyone.”
He cups my cheeks and I revel in the warmth in his dark eyes. “I was wrong. I can use ‘ious’ words to describe you.”