Page 54 of Stick Move

How fucking selfish is it of me to be happy about that thought. Shouldn’t I want her to meet the man meant to be her husband. Yeah, I should, but I don’t.

Oh, and why is that, dude?

You fucking already know, I practically yell out loud at my inner voice.

“It’s beautiful,” Brighton says quietly, and when Mom sniffs, my heart pounds in my chest.

I pick the ring up. “Do you want…”

She nods, like she too might be choked up and can’t speak. Her arm lifts and she holds her fingers out to me and I slip the ring on. It easily slides up her finger and she frowns, like the too big ring in an omen.

“It’s too big.” Brighton’s voice is low and barely audible.

Does she want this? Want this to be real, too?

“That’s what adjustments are for. In the meantime, try this trick.” Mom grabs some tape, and Brighton hands the ring over. She takes off a generous amount of tape and starts rolling it up. Once done she presses it into the underside of the band and holds it out. “Try this.”

Brighton puts the ring on and laughs. “It fits.”

“You just wear it like that until you can get it resized.” Mom gives me a stern look. “Noah, you take the ring right into Charm Center on Brunswick Street. They’ll get it sized right away for you.”

I nod and agree, even though Charm Center hasn’t been on Brunswick Street in years. Besides, I’m not about to alter my grandmother’s ring if this isn’t real.

Then make it fucking real, dude.

“Now where is Camryn?” Mom asks and glances around.

“She’s outside. Let’s head out to her.” Dad walks toward the door. “It will be an hour before the pot roast is ready, so let’s go have a drink and enjoy the day.”

Dad lags behind as Mom and Brighton step out onto the deck. He puts his hand on my back. “Thanks, son.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?” I’m about to ask him what he means when he angles his head, a small grin on his face. “I think Brighton liked the ring.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“You two make a lovely couple and it’s easy to see how much Camryn adores her.”

“Dad,” I say quickly, cutting him off before he goes down that path. “You know what this is.” He stares at me and I continue. “This is for Mom. She’s Camryn’s nanny and there’s nothing between us.”

He lets out a bellow of a laugh, laced with disbelief, and it lets me know I could never get anything by him. “Right, son. You just keep telling yourself that.”

16

BRIGHTON

As Noah and Paul push Camryn on the swing, I stand, ready to take the dishes inside as Sandra watches on with a smile. “Thanks so much, Sandra, everything was delicious. Today was just perfect.” Truthfully it was. I loved this quiet Sunday dinner, loved feeling like I was a part of this family and the thought of it all ending after the NHL season slices through my heart like a broken shard of glass.

Sandra stands and pulls me into her embrace, squeezing tight, and my throat clogs with a bevy of emotions. Everything from guilt for our ruse, to love for this small family, to fear of the future and what her sickness means for us all. Her hug is warm and comforting and loving and everything about her acceptance and openness nearly brings tears to my eyes. I’ve spent an entire life wanting this, and dammit, I do not want Camryn to grow up never knowing the love of a mother.

So, what are you going to do about that, Brighton?

I turn my gaze to Noah as he and his dad laugh, the sound filling me with a kind of joy I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before. So, what am I going to do about it? Oh, I don’t know, maybe just show the man I’ve fallen for how good of a family we could be, how I can love him and his daughter enough that he’ll drop the torch for his ex and realize what a great thing we have.

As if sensing my eyes on him, Noah turns and catches my eye. He angles his head, like he can sense a big shift in me. I just smile at him, keeping this secret a secret.

I inch back to break the hug. “I really appreciate you having me.”

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