Page 31 of We Can't Be Friends

Sitting across from her earlier, sipping my Earl Gray, I pitied her. Hated it.

Not only for her but for every female out there. I fret that I’m never meeting the expectations or can handle the pressure put on my shoulders, but I have it easy. My path to success was laid out, but that’s not the situation for others.

Samantha? My sister? Chloe?

It’s nothing in comparison to what they have to go through as women.

Nothing is wrong with Samantha.

Everything is wrong with the world in which she was raised and groomed.

“Nothing,” I finally respond. “You and I both know that I don’t want a relationship. Don’t have the time or space for one.”

Audrey mocks my words, capping it off with a snicker. “Why don’t you fake having a girlfriend? Bring a friend or someone as a date to things. Appease mom by snapping a few selfies with a her.”

“What?”

“You read romance books. Youknowwhat I’m talking about.”

“That is fiction. This is my real life. No one fake dates someone in real life, Auds.”

“People also don’t get kidnapped by mafia leaders and end up in a marriage of convenience with them, only to fall in love after becoming accidentally pregnant and running up their black card. Or—”

“I get it.”

“Emerson must have a friend or one of your employees—oh, I love a good workplace romance—that would be willing to pretend to be your girlfriend. Put on a cowboy hat and wet white T-shirtand you’ll be the British version of Glen Powell. No one can deny that.”

“You’re joking.”

I do not look like Glen Powell. I prefer my resemblance to be that of Paul Walker (RIP), Alex Pettyfer, or a young Heath Ledger (also RIP).

Fake dating? Audrey can’t be serious. I could never. Someone always ends up falling for the other, and since I’m not in a position to fall for anyone.

“I’m not. Look, I know Mom’s tough on you. She compares you to Jack and Harrison, and you hate it. She isn’t going to let up on this, and you don’t want a relationship. You’ll appease her while—”

“Okay.”

“Okay? You areagreeingwith me?”

“Yes, Auds. Don’t be shocked.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, which is crazy. You are intelligent and annoying. If anything, I’m agreeing to shut you up.”

The washing machine stops and a jingle plays that Audrey hums happily to.

“As happy as I am that you are taking my idea, I can’t wait to watch this playout. I’m popping popcorn, and I’m absolutely telling Beatrix and Emerson.”

“Mom set me up on one more date. It’s next week. Maybe I’ll ask her.”

“Call me after!”

9

CHLOE

Itake two deep breaths. Then another.

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