Page 12 of We Can't Be Friends

“Your brothers were married by twenty-five, and Audrey is dating someone from her graduate program. It is rather concerning that you have decided to partake in none of the above. I don’t quite understand wanting to bed women without ever wanting to be in a relationship.”

“Bedding women?”

“I was still speaking. Do not interrupt me,” she snarks out, and I know that her hazels are pinched, lips pursed. “You are almost thirty-one, Callum. Do you want to be a disappointment at forty and unmarried? I’ve concluded that you are incapable of finding a pleasant young woman and require my assistance. Which shouldn’t be quite challenging; look at your brothers”—My brothers who are both unhappily married? Sure, I’ll take them as examples. They’ve always been stellar examples of who I don’t want to be even though I’ve been told to be exactly like them—“and their wives. Do you not want what they have?”

I don’t answer her, not risking speaking over her again. Most of the time, Mom’s questions are rhetorical.

“Do you not want what they have?” she asks again.

So she did want an answer to that.

Do I want what they have? No.

Do I want to have someone to love, settle down, and get married? Maybe, sure. If it’s the right person.

A quick fling or one-night stand is easier than a relationship. There’s less room for criticism when they only get to know two things about you: your body and how you use it in bed.

Both of which I’ve perfected to have neither be a disappointment—at least, I’ve never had a woman complain of being unsatisfied.

I answer backhandedly. “Yes, Mum, I’d like to be married someday.”

“Then you’ll be grateful that I am doing this. I’ve already spoken with some family friends with daughters who aresingle. There are three or four that I’m setting you up on dates with. You’ll be able to select one of them to date. I won’t force you to get married immediately, but know that is the expectation here.”

“In London?”

“No, Callum. In Chicago. I will send you calendar invites for the dates. I expect you to attend all of them, be a gentleman, pay, and report back about the dates. I would hate to have to choose for you, but I will if you don’t comply.”

“Uh—” I’m completely lost for words. She can’t be serious.

“I will send them over tomorrow. It’s late, and I already stayed up because of you.”

The call ends without a goodbye or room for pushback.

Staring at the phone, it’s hard to maintain my disbelief and frustration with her because deep down, there is still a young boy who wants love and to make his mom proud.

“Love you too, Mom,” I say to no one but myself.

4

CALLUM

EMERSON: Want to come to dinner tonight?

EMERSON: Could use some back up. Liam and Nat will be there.

Only if you finally tell Liam you love him.

Even in clothes, I can tell that is Chloe.

She’s standing out of view from Natalie, Liam, and Emerson. From my peripherals, I can see them awkwardly seated.

Chloe’s talking with a male I don’t recognize. From this angle, their conversation is more uncomfortable than the love triangle at the picnic table.

I take a few more steps, slowing my pace to better read their body language. At first, I couldn’t tell if they were fighting, but the closer I got, Chloe’s quick gestures and rocking on the heels of her sneakers became more apparent.

She’s uncomfortable right now.

Something is wrong.

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