Page 70 of Summertime Friends

EMERSON

I enjoy being next to him. It’s why I didn’t mind when Liam rearranged all of my hotel arrangements. It doesn’t hurt that he’s in the industry and knows the best places to stay.

I like the proximity it forced us into.

Breathing in the same oxygen as him.Breathing him in as oxygen.

That’s what it feels like right now.

I’m breathing him in.

Each thrust an inhale. Each release an exhale.

The air my body needs to function at the capacity of who I want to be when I’m with him—not just when we are in this position.

I’m not ready to go home. To leave all of this,Liamandus, behind.

My mind keeps drifting further out, like I’m in the ocean that separates us. We live on two separate continents, and after today, we will never see each other again. I’ll return to my life breathless without the source. I’m nervous I’ll suffocate. Gasping for air, gasping for this version of me that he’s given life to.

I don’t love Liam. I love me with him.

I try not to let the emotions get confused.

We finish, and Liam lies beside me on his side. We’re facing each other. His fingers draw small circles on my upper bicep.

“What’s running through that bright, exquisite mind of yours?” he asks me.

“How incredibly hot you are.”

“You’d suck at poker,” he teases.

I release a deep sigh.

If emotions are the lock, then I’m the key to a door of all the ways I’ll never be enough for love. But that’s not us. Since I’ve met Liam, we’ve never been the type of strangers to keep our emotions hidden.

“You can tell me, Emerson.” His voice is gentle.

“I know. Easy answer? I don’t want to leave.” I release another sigh. “Truthful answer? I don’t know how to go back to pre-summer Emerson.”

“What do you mean?” His brow furrows with genuine confusion.

“If you had told me eight weeks ago, I’d have stayed in another country alone. I would have laughed in your face and told you how wrong you were. This,” my hand gesturing to myself, “is not me.”

“You mean lying in bed across from a fit and wildly charming male specimen?”

“Exactly.” I roll my eyes at him, but he isn’t wrong. I wouldn’t have, ever. Well, ever isn’t true. I would, but not night after night and spending the days in between together. “I wouldn’t have allowed myself to fall for you. I know that’s what you’ve been trying to do for the past four weeks. You were trying to show me that love is real.”

“Did it work?”

“No.” I shake my head. “But I’m open to the idea.”

That doesn’t satisfy him—his smile wavers.

“This girl, you know, isn’t the girl who showed up here eight weeks ago. That girl was afraid—afraid to be enough for someone. I thought that to get others to like me, want me, and stay, I had to be the person they wanted me to be.”

Liam doesn’t say anything, only listens. His eyes don’t leave mine.

“With you though. . . I’m finally the Emerson I want to be. This version of me is someone who is enough for you—enough for myself. At first, I thought I was crazy, but the more time we spent together, the easier it became to be her. Less guarded, moreopen to l—” I don’t finish the L word. “I want to be who you’ve allowed me to be when I go home.”

---