Page 139 of Summertime Friends

I shake my head no.

“You have to talk to her about her reasons.” We take a seat on one of the large stone ledges. “I know you’ve had your ups and downs with Natalie. I get why you’re upset: Your biggest fear is happening in real time, but you are letting it happen. You could put a stop to this, you know? You are letting yourself lose by acting this way.

“You allowed yourself to live in Nat’s shadow your entire life. You think of yourself as second place to her. That one wrong move would cause her to stop being your friend, and you’d lose her love. The truth? You could never lose her love—or mine. We don’t love you for the things you do for us. We love you because of who you are. You are generous and never shy away from helping someone. You are fierce and loyal, protective of us. I wish Nat told you how much she looks up to you more often. We both do. Neither of us would be the women we are today without you. You consistently make us the best versions of ourselves by being you. We love you. But do you know when you were the best version of yourself?”

I laugh, “When?”

“The summers you spent with Liam.”

“Chloe, you only knew me for two of those summers,” I remind her. She didn’t know Emerson before, so what grounds does she have to make the comparison? “How can you say that was the best version of me?”

“Because I know younow.”

Am I different now?

Of course, getting your heart broken changes you, but I’m fine. I’ve added enough tape to put myself back together. Like anyone who was in love once, I falter some days, but I’m fine—I’m not fine.

Chloe puts an arm around my shoulders—a half-hug but enough of an embrace that I feel the love transferring from her to me. “You aren’t kidding anyone with your I’m fine facade.”

“I don’t. . . I don’t understand,” I choke out.

“Take a guess,” she says to me.

“I loved him.”

“I think love is an understatement. I sometimes think he is your every breath. He’s”—Chloe makes me sound like a love-drunk fool, but maybe I am?—“the missing piece. You were lighter. You were brighter. I’m not saying you haven’t been yourself for the past three years. You haven’t been the version of you that is truly you.”Chloe sighs. “You are infinite when you believe that love exists. Aren’t you tired of being like this?”

“Yeah, I am,” I reply. Looking out over the river, I’m contemplating how to escape this mess. “I think I really messed up this time, Chlo. How do I fix this?”

“Talk to him.”

“I don’t think I deserve another chance from him.”

“There are a lot of things in life we don’t deserve. You might not deserve another chance, but the two of you, together, deserve an actual chance. The secret to love is knowing you already have it. You already have his love; you don’t need to earn it.”

Liam would never make me earn it. I nod.

“Chloe, have I ever told you I love you?”

She chuckles. “Yeah, but you can tell me again.” Chloe gives me a cheesy smile. I squeeze her into a tight hug. “I love you, States.”

We continued our walk, catching up on work and any other topic that allowed her to avoid my continued questions about Cal and her.

The sun is setting as we decide to head to our places.

Reaching into her fanny pack, Chloe pulls out a small envelope with my name on the front. I recognize the handwriting. It’s Natalie’s. “I promised Nat I’d give this to you when you were ready. She gave it to me yesterday, and I think you’re ready for it now. Not to forgive her, but to finally—”

I hug her, cutting her off. I don’t need to hear the end of what she’s saying.

57

LIAM

Now

“Negroni, please,” I ask Flynn. My throat is parched from all the congratulations and talking I’ve been doing tonight, bouncing around the room from person to person.

Swiftly, he’s passing the drink across the bar to me, already moving to the next couple to take their orders.

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